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In need of some advice!

1 reply

user1491773720 · 19/04/2017 16:28

Hi everyone, totally new to Mumsnet, thought probably the best place for some advice, feeling abit fragile so please be kind....

Think i have decided to leave my husband of 2 years, its been rocky ever since our second child was born last year. weve had a pretty full on relationship, 2 kids, mortgage, wedding, dog all in the space of 5 years but we seem to have a very fiery relationship and its not what i want my children to grow up around. weve both suffered with PND last year, which he had councelling for but his temper seems to be right there almost daily. he controls every aspect of my life, the money, the amount i use the car, when i can afford to buy makeup that kind of thing. hes never been abusive phyically but it seems to be heading that way and his mental abuse is just dragging me down, i know i can do better for me and the kids!

what i would like to know, as i am feeling rather anxious about the whole thing, is what would i actually be entitled to? i know i will get the childrens child benefit as standard, i would also apply for single person council tax, other than this and asking him to pay i have no idea what else i would need to do when i part ways?!

we both are on the mortgage, which the deposit of £36k was my grandmas inheritence (stupidly didnt sign a deceleration at the time) my grandma is still alive so would a legal document of her stating it was my deposit from her gifted help in any way should he want to take half the deposit?!

I have fought my feelings for over a year now and i think now im feeling mentally stronger to go alone i am ready to make the leap but im just so worried that i will be made homeless, penniless and divorced!!

Any advice would be much appreciated x

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 19/04/2017 16:35

Hi. I'm not sure about the house, and deposit you would need to speak to a soliciter or at least get proper legal advice. Sometimes a court can rule that you can stay in the house with the children until the youngest turns 18, but that would depend if you can take over the mortgage payments.
If you work then you could most likely claim working tax credits, you need to be working 16 hours or more as a lone parent.
You will get child tax credits in addition to child benefit.
You need to pursue your ex for child maintainance. it will normally be around 20 % of his wage.
You really need to seek legal advice.

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