How to share our income fairly

[Tempranillo]

My husband and I have always split all bills 50:50. We have a joint account for all bills and we each pay the same amount into it each month. We use a credit card for all of our day to day expenses (groceries, petrol, gifts etc) and anything we do together (holidays, days out, meals out etc)- it's paid back in full each month and split 50:50. We have a baby now and all baby expenses are shared.

The rest of our money we keep for our individual expenses - mobile phone bills, haircuts, independent socialising, clothes etc. It's always worked well for us and neither of us is particularly better off then the other.

I will be returning to work part time after mat leave. We both want to manage our finances as fairly as possible. My husband is self employed and his income is very variable in amount and erratic in frequency. I cannot work out how we can split things fairly so that I pay a lower proportion of joint bills when we don't know what his income is.

I guess one option is to completely pool our income and expenses, but I am a bigger spender individually and wouldn't want to feel like I am spending more than my fair share. I also keep track of all expenditure and reconcile my transactions - my husband is a bit more relaxed about this!

Any suggestions?

I think the only fair thing is to both throw everything into the pot and pay out from there. Could you decide on a certain amount that you could each have per month?

You have a spreadsheet for all outgoings. We include phone, gym, music, petrol etc as family expenses. Also savings go on it and a pot of money to spend on dc each month. Whatever is left is divided in two. That money is yours to do as you please and when it's gone, it's gone. The key is getting the spreadsheet right. All basic food shopping is on the spreadsheet but if we fancy coffees and extra food then that comes out of our own money. It's so transparent and fair and we are actually better off as we have designated spends for each area rather than frittering money away.

Also we adapt the spreadsheet each month depending on what's coming up, such as birthdays, weddings, holidays, car mot etc.

Do you spend everything you have every month?

I would suggest a joint account with a set income in it every month to cover all expenses, then individual accounts for personal expenses. Work out how much you need to cover all costs each month and how much money needs to go into the account. Then divide up what portion of that you will each pay, so for example you need 2000 pounds a month for all expenses. You will pay 800 and him 1200 or whatever, your husband then needs to budget so that he can always put 12 hundred in, so for example if he has a big earning month he should be aware he still needs to put the 1200 in the following months and manage his money accordingly.

Alternatively, joint account and you just manage your spending...

Our incomes have always been pooled regardless of who is earning the most . When we first met I was the higher earner but 25 years later things are very different but we still just have a joint account and both spend from it .
I must admit that it has never occurred to me to do anything different .

We're we're in a similar position when I returned to work after maternity leave. Essentially I have a spreadsheet detailing ALL joint outgoings every month including joint savings and any overdraft we've accrued that month.

The assumption is that we set the overdraft back to zero every month and pay in for all the bills.

We pay in amounts such that we are both lefts with the same amount of disposable income each month.

E.g. You earn 1200, DH earns 2000, you need to put a total of 2200 to cover bills.

(2000 + 1200) - 2200 = 1000.

You should both haven a surplus of £500 each so you put in £700 and DH puts in £1500.

Doing it like this means you can change the amount each month depending on your husband's income.

Set up a spreadsheet to do the calcs. If you'd like mine pm me your email and I can send you a blank version.

Cross post with Sorrel!

The FAIR thing to do is to make sure that after all joint expenses and savings are covered, you each have the same amount to spend as you wish.

The SENSIBLE way to do this is to have individual accounts for your spending money that the other person cannot see or touch and does not comment on.

If you spend your spending money a little at a time on coffees and DVDs, or spend it all at once on an expensive coat or a set of golf clubs, that's entirely your choice. You always know how much you have.

Thanks for all the tips. I think the fairest and most sensible way is to put it all in together for joint bills, expenses and savings and then take out an equal amount for individual spending. And we will have to budget what we have to last between my husbands pay days.

Spreadsheet in progress!!

Spreadsheets are often the answer :)