£46,000 in debt

[Debtfairy]

This is the first time I've written that figure down. I've NC'd as this could be identifying.

We have 3 loans, 3 credit cards and a HP agreement for a sofa. Everything is being managed and we have a mortgage and want to move, so we need to tackle this and get it all paid off quicker than its currently happening. Debt relief order not required so no charities can help.

Basically we have NO idea where the money goes, we only have one salary and maternity allowance coming in due to mat leave with DC1, we shop in Aldi (max £35 a week inc nappies etc)

We have 2 small and economical cars
We don't eat out or go on holiday
We don't go to the pub
We rarely go and spend money
We don't have anything left!

Where does our money go?!

Any tips welcome!

I agree about not working temporarily. But over the next year think about how you could create an income. Maybe just working two evenings in care work/supermarket/a pub might help. Or a Saturday job.

Also have a think about if there's anything you buy that you don't actually 'need' I know that sounds obvious but there are so many 'essentials' which are not essential off the top of my head- squash/soft drinks/fabric softener/cleaning products for different things are all things I've cut out and don't miss at all.

One of my biggest money saving tricks is to use my library more. I had a serious book and magazine habit. I can't tell you the last time I bought a magazine. Loads available online. Your local library might have the same thing. Press reader for newspapers.
As well as debt free wannabe why don't you try the MSE old school money saving board?
See if you can find some debt calculators to both horrify you (amount and time to pay off if only paying off minimum amounts) and inspire you (calculators that show how even small increases in payments can make a big difference)
Try your local CAB. Join a credit union.
Find blogs of people who have done similar to inspire you.
Good luck. Get something done now before it gets worse.
PS: A friend of a friend did this - it sounds horribly complicated to me but it did help...she rented somewhere smaller then rented out her house (house still mortgaged) but made enough savings on her rent and enough "profit" on her home that it allowed her to pay off some debt and keep her home. IIRC the household outgoings of the smaller house were cheaper too (council tax, utilities, commute) so that all helped. Desperate times might call for desperate measures. That idea would take a LOT of thought as it's a massive thing and not for everyone.

That's a huge amount of debt. It's just too much to tackle with the usual advice on cutting back on fancy coffee and selling old stuff.

I would sell the house. I'd rent a house close to somewhere I could walk to work/ or close to any family genuinely offering to chip in with childcare. I'd sell a car or two. I'd start again, basically. And save for a new deposit to buy a house.

I too would keep the broadband - it is actually a very cheap form of entertainment.opportunities.

Agree with declaring the second car off the road and taking DH to work/station if possible.

Good advice from others on paying off most expensive debt first, consolidating etc. To pay down the debt you either need to reduce expenditure (hard from what you have said) or increase income.

I know you can't go back to work full time but is there anything you can do like pick up one or two shifts a week in pub/bar/shop/something? Or rent a room out to a lodger? Can you or DH do some uber driving? Babysitting for other people?

I think you could do with some real debt advice tho not just from the internet chat forum

I only my use my car for short trips and it still costs £100 to run per month (fuel, tax etc)

I don't advocate getting rid of it but only use when you HAVE to

Any chance of porting the debt to a 0% cc? Some very good long deals around ATM - check it the MSE website

Dave Ramsey and his baby steps is a good place to start

Good luck

Definately go on money saving expert and start a thread there with your Statement Of Affairs (SOA).
That details everything you have coming in and going out, you have to log phone bills, food bills, petrol/travel, council tax, loan payments, the whole lot.
Once you have that, you should be able to see where the money is going, you really cant make any progress on this until you know for a fact where every penny is going.

If theres a way for you to save money, they'll find it :)

A snowball Debt Calculator is also good, I use a free one at www.whatsthecost.com , it lets you see a running total of what youve paid, when the estimated end date of debts are, and really helps with that feeling of "I'm paying out all this money and making no progress".

6 years ago I owed 35k in unsecured debt and had hid it from my partner then husband for many years.
I joined the debt free wannabe forum in moneysavingexpert and arranged a dmp with stepchange. I'm now debt free and volunteer with the citizens advice to help people in the same position.
There is a way out, we have just bought our first house today but it's in my husband's name, I'm building back up my credit with a credit builder card.
I wish I had exotic holidays and cars to show for the money but truthfully I have no idea what the hell I spent it on!
You will get some great advice on that forum.
Best of luck op x

We follow Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps and it has worked wonders for us. You can find out loads about it via You Tube. I only wish I'd followed him years and years ago. We would have avoided masses of stress and sleepless nights.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation OP. You've had a horrible ordeal with your lo.

Are you getting all benefits you might be entitled to? Have you claimed child benefit?

Also don't be afraid to tell close friends and family that you're struggling a bit. Socialise at home or friends houses. People who love you should support you.

Is your DH on board with all of this?

I agree with the Dave Ramsey stuff. Also snowballing your debts. E.g. Pay minimum on everything and spend all debt repayments on the sofa. You'll feel better when you can see some progress and you'll be one debt down.

But you must get rid of your cards so you don't fall into the trap of thinking, oh just this once.

Can you take a weekly amount out in cash? Can be easier when you see it.

Don't sell your house. Your equity is greater than your debt.