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Divorce after long separation - money help (long)

2 replies

divorcee · 02/03/2007 00:52

My husband and I separated 8 years ago. We have 4 teens now, I has SEN and one is disabled. I was the one that wanted so ex felt I should pay for divorce. Having visited a solicitor, nasty emails started to fly and was causing unnecessary conflict and we called a halt to it. I was going to get a diy divorce but never got around to it as all was civil

He moved on very quickly and within a few months had set up home with his partner. The bought a 4 bed house about 2 years ago and our 4 kids go there for 24 hours every fortnight, before that he'd see them 3 hours in the week and 6 on sats. I stayed in marital home for 2 years but couldn't afford it so decided to downsize. Ex agree I could keep all the equity in the house until the kids were grown though nothing was written down formally and bought my house in my own name.

He has paid £350 every calender month (other than when he couldn't afford it but he always caught up) I work full time.

We moved into a lovely family home thanks to my parents giving us 100k. We couldn't have afforded it on our own and would have remained in our 3 up, 2 down. His mother died just after we split up and other than him paying off some joint loans, I didn't ask or have any of his inheritance

I have recently come into a nice sum of money and said to ex last week I would give him a 3rd if we call it quits and I don't have to give him anything from sale of house nor will he make me sell up when youngest is 18. He wants the 3rd I offered AND 35% of old house sale (before stamp duty, mortgage expenses)as technically we are still married. This works out at 75k, I offered 40k. My plan will be sell the large family home in 10 years and passing the profits over to my children (once I have downsized)to maybe give them a chance of owning their own properties. He has willed his home to his partner

I really don't think he is being fair and have now said we will get divorced and I will see him in court. I have provided for our kids for 8 years and I will be the one paying for uni, cars, etc, long after maintenance stops. If he had them over a lunchtime extra, he expects me to pay for it, or if I ask him to have kids extra night -I pay for their food. I had a holiday alone 4 years ago, he had the children but expected me to leave food for a week as he 'was skint'. To keep the peace for the children, I have gone along with this. Otherwise he wouldn't see/have them

He is 15k in debt, in mortgage arrears

I'm wondering what the courts would do in regards to making me sell my home (I have extended it and made it wheelchair accessible for disabled child at my expense) Am I being unreasonable in my offer? I'm now scared that a court would make me sell up

Any advice welcomed

OP posts:
mamama · 02/03/2007 00:59

Absolutely no idea as my situation is rather different but I wanted to offer you some moral support and a {hug}

divorcee · 02/03/2007 13:44

Can anyone help?

OP posts:
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