How to split costs fairly with partner whilst only earning Statutory Mat Pay?

[user1484573121]

Hi,
Not sure if this is the right place to ask this question and I'm new to the site so apologies if it's not meant for this site.

I'm just wanting a bit of advice please. I'm due to have my first baby in June and I'm already worrying about the 6 months where I'll only earn SMP. I've worked out how much I'll receive, along with the child benefit allowance and ill still be really overdrawn every month. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle either..this is just for paying the mortgage and bills etc.
I have a partner who does earn quite a lot more than me and obviously will be earning substantially more whilst I'm only getting SMP, but I'm not sure what's the best way to work out money between us during this period? I don't want to get into money difficulties and don't want to have to ask him for money for nappies etc every week but also am not sure what's the right approach to working out how much he needs to 'pay me' in a sense to support me during this time.
It's a difficult situation as my partner lives in my house (which I own solely) and up until now we have just paid half each towards the mortgage/bills since he moved in.
Any advise on how to work this out would be appreciated.
Thanks x

Sorry to post, agreeing with you in that case. I just tried to say what had been said more succinctly.

This all sounds very finicky/

Are you planning a big white wedding?

Why not just have a lovely low key ceremony soon and hugely simplify everything as "what is mine is yours"?

Starting a family must be the time to switch mindsets surely?

Surely he would be paying rent if he lived somewhere else. I agree one pot regardless of the fact you own the house.

Re mortgage,is he currently paying something towards it? I'd do what others say and count some of the extra towards his half however anything up to a reasonable rent is a fair contribution towards that. Bills he shod be paying towards as he's using the facilities, not buying shares in Water and Electricity.

Can you do a proportional thing? So if your SMP is 15 % of his you contribute 15% towards the bills?

DH gives me a set amount per month for the baby for nappies, whatever I choose to spend it on.

What does HE think is a fair way of covering the bills whilst you're off? And please make sure that you have leisure money too, not just him cos he "works"

Its worth thinking about what happens when you go back to work. Will it be full time? Will you need to pay child care? If you keep separate banks he needs to be contributing to this too

Have you not discussed this before deciding to have a family?

Just sit him down, show him the figures and make a joint decision as to how you are going to manage. Can't think why you are even worrying about this as it is just a basic prerequisite of having a family together.

One pot is the proper answer - we did that from Day 1 and it seems to me to be the only way to go.

I agree with Blossomdeary -surely financial planning comes in to the discussion before you start to have a family.
I don't get this 'I have the house as I saved up for it' thing either.
I (along with my mortgage) owned my own property before I met dh. Obviously when we started dating, it was mine, but once we knew this was 'for life' (which I'm presuming you have decided or you wouldn't be having a child with him), then everything becomes both of yours - it's even there in words in most traditional forms of the marriage ceremony, and I'd say having a child is even more of a commitment to a lifelong relationship with someone than getting married.
At various points in our relationship, he's had non earning time, I've had none earning times, I've done more child care, he's done more childcare, I've earned more than him and he's earned more than me. It's always been our home and our money though, as we are one family.

I've been in the same position this year but am married. I looked at my finances and worked out I could feasibly pay my own petrol and 50% of the weeks food shopping (usually £25) as DH pays for the big meat&a fish shop once a month.

He then pays for the mortgage and all bills.

You have to work out what you can afford if you have seperate bank accounts

Sit down and have the conversation. And also discuss life insurance - yes it's dull but once you have a baby you need to think about what's best for all of you come whatever.

Child related costs are joint costs, as is your loss of earnings whilst on ml looking after your (joint) child.

We have a convoluted thing based on % of total income as it suited us as moved in very young and didn't have children for years..and it sort of stuck. Basically I earn 25% of the income these days and pay 25% of the bills and keep any spare to myself.(bills covers everything from transport to nappies) But I think if we were starting to join our finances now I'd just lump in all together. We're a family not individuals providing services.

*All money goes into one pot. All expenses come out of that pot.

You will be living together and having a baby, so the usual approach is that you are one financial unit.

Bear in mind that he'll only be able to go work because you will be providing childcare, so he's really not "supporting you", he's covering his part of the costs of raising his child.*

This.

How much is he paying you to carry and birth his baby? Are you getting a bonus for breastfeeding? What about the night feeds, is there overtime?

Please. A partnership implies equality. And sharing. Equally.

Honestly, I'd just go with the 'all in one pot and all out of the same pot' method - and I'd put him on the deeds of the house. As PP say, you are a team now.

If you don't have joint finances, then I think BikeRunSki has it.

Work out how much income you will lose. Get him to "pay" you half that. Don't forget pension contributions - you may wish to make voluntary contributions.

He should also pay half the baby expenses.

After that, whatever is already working for you (assuming it's working).