Divorce help please

[AndreaS123]

Apologies in advance for the long message but I want to make sure I give all the information. I hope someone can then help me as I don’t know what to do.

Last January my husband left me after 22 years of marriage. He said it was because he couldn’t live with me anymore but he started seeing someone else straight away so in my opinion he was having an affair.

Anyway, he has now filed for divorce and has made me an offer. Here are our current finances and dependencies

We own two houses that are both heavily mortgaged but there is about £30K of equity in them and they are rented out making a total profit of about £200/month
We have about £14K of personal debt
He has a work pension that he earned while married to me that brings in £800/month
I live in a rented property which costs £1000/month. I live there with our 20 year old twin sons. The house is full of our own furniture/appliances etc.
He earns c£50k/year and I earn c15k/year.

Over the past 12 months he has paid our rent in full, given me his pension in full and allowed me to receive all of the rental income while paying the mortgages on my behalf (£550). However, he has now said to me that this cannot be indefinite and instead wants to offer me the following divorce settlement.

Give me both houses (I keep the rental but am responsible for the mortgages)
Allow me to keep all the house contents bar a few personal possessions
He will take care of the 14K of debt in full
He will give me a fixed amount of £400/month to account for 50% of his pension

I hope I am not sounding ungrateful but he earns nearly 4x my income and even with the income that offer gives me there is no way I can afford to stay in the house that I am in as I am only earning 15K a year. I have asked him for all the pension as I cannot live on the amount I have. I have also offered to sell him the properties so that I can have a lump sum to set up in my own home but would need £50-60k from him. He has said that is too much.

It’s difficult when I only has his point of view and can’t afford a solicitor so can someone tell me if I am being conned here please?

Thanks for your help! Xxx

You really REALLY need to see a solicitor

The problem is that legal fees would take a huge chunk of what little asset there is

'claim on his pension'

AndreaS123

The equivalent cash value of the pension may be many times your husband's current offer

Find out how much it's worth

A lump sum payment could help to secure your financial future

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/what-to-do-with-a-lump-sum-payment-after-divorce-or-dissolution#securing-your-future

Where have all the figures come from?
Does he currently pay into a pension? Do you pay into a pension? Are there any other pensions?

On the face of it the offer seems very good. All the equity becomes yours, plus half his pension (although I'd want it transferring properly), plus he takes all the debt. He was unlikely to keep paying the rent etc indefinitely. Can you increase hours or switch jobs to increase your earning potential? Can your adult sons contribute?

can you gather together all the figures and pay for an hour of a solicitors time to see if you are likely to get more if you go to court. (Don't tell your ex you are doing this). What you gain in spousal maintenance you may lose in taking on half the debt and costs to sell the buy to let's prior to splitting equity.

You say he earns nearly £50K. That's £3000 a month take home.
For a YEAR he has paid your £1000 rent, and the £550 BTL mortgages from that. And also giving you the separate £800 pension payment. That says to me that there is possibly more money in the pot than you're aware of. Not necessarily, he may be living rent free with his girlfriend. But... maybe.

Even if you don't see a solicitor then at least insist on the same financial disclosure process - 6 months bank statements, etc.

The thing is, though it might be fair, your STBXH has proven himself to be a liar - I think you're right about an affair

With regards to the pension - definitely do it properly. He dies, and it's gone. He stops bothering to pay you, and you have to go to court - hoping that you even drew up something legally binding on the back of your fag packet! And in any case, if it's treated like spousal maintenance he can apply to have the order varied.

What do you actually know about this pension? Is the payment fixed or CPI linked? Are you going to take £400 now, only to find in 20 years time, he's actually receiving £1200 and you're now getting 1/3 of the pension he accrued during your marriage?

What about the pension he is almost certainly building in his £50K job now? How long has he been doing that for? There is quite possibly a sizeable pot there. CETV on a DB pension is currently likely to be unusually high because of the gilt markets.

Please, before you agree anything, get financial disclosure: it will include a CETV (transfer value) for any current pension - and 6 months of wage slips so he can't lie that he isn't paying into one!

There is too much to be checked first before you can decide if this offer is fair.

Tip: if he gets the arse about you requesting the standard process, he's probably got more money than you know about.

Another thought on that pension... he'll be paying 40% tax on it. If it is properly transferred to you, when you are able to go into draw down, you'll only be paying 20% tax.
A 1333 pension gives 800 after 40% tax. Your share could be 776, less 20% tax = £533. That's a lot more than £400!
Why would you effectively pick up his tax liability when you earn £15K?

Thank you everyone for all your help. I will bite the bullet and speak to a solicitor.

I believe he has rented a room in a house (not with the gf) or that is what I have been told. He says that costs £500 all in per month so once he adds his food and travel he doesn't have much left either. That's why he wants this to be done now.

I have spoken to him about the pension and I got that slightly wrong. He wants to sign over half his pension to me which adds up to about £400 not give me £400.

He started his new job in July but we had separated in Janury

I don't know about the mortgages etc but I think the best thing for me to do is leave those to him and take his offer.

Does that sound like a better plan now?

It's a better plan to see a solicitor, yes.

I don't see how you can leave the mortgages to him AND take his offer - because his offer was that you take them on!

Are you on the mortgages now?
If he keeps them, and your name is on them, then you will have liability for paying them (all, not half) if he stops.

And if you later decide to buy a home, you may well not be able to if you're named on mortgages already.

So just saying he can keep them (with the equity too!) is a bad idea.

Getting half the pension is potentially good - but remember you won't be able to touch it until you are 55, and potentially 57 if legislation changes as was suggested, to make it state pension age less 7 years.

Also bear in mind that there will almost certainly be no tax free lump sum for you, because that's been taken already. So it's not necessarily a great deal to offer you.

You could argue that as he has a £50K a year job, he doesn't need the £800 a month now, and has more time to build up more pension in the next X years. If your wage now is so much lower than his because you compromised your potential for his (looking after kids, or trailing round his postings - is it a military pension?) and you have less salary now to build a pension on your own, there is an argument that you should take 100% of this pension. Certainly more than 50%.

I am not in the screw 'em over for cheating on you camp. My cheating XH got more than 50% of our assets as that is what I proposed.

But you really only get one shot at getting this right, and you CANNOT trust him to have your best interests at heart.

Remember that with recent BTL changes - making it less profitable for higher rate tax payers like him - his offer isn't necessarily generous, he might want to offload the properties anyway.

You won't get them in your sole name mortgage anyway I think - not on your salary.

See a solicitor!

Also on the pension... they're complicated beasties! How does he know he's signing over something that £400 a month to you?
When a pension has already commenced, a new transfer value would have to be calculated, then that value split beyeeen you on whatever % you agree.

Your portion would then be available without a tax free lump sum at age 55. Is that going to be worth £400 a month then?

You need a lot more detail before you agree anything. Do you have up to date mortgage statements? Who decided how much equity there was in the BTLs?

So many questions!!

The two options was to give me the two properties (with mortgages solely in my name) or give me £30k and him have the properties (with the mortgages solely in his name)

The equity was based on an estate agent's valuation against the mortgage. He said he took 10% off their valuation (haggling buyers) and then subtracted the mortgage. It came out to just under £30k. He has said he will show me all the documentation.

The pension deal was based on a 50/50 split. The £400 was just a number as the full one is £800. Basically he said he would sign half the pension over to me so what that is worth I don't know exactly so went with what he said which was £400.

2 questions on the back of what you have said.

1. What do I need to say to push for more than half the pension.

1. Can he use the money he has spent paying the rent etc since we have separated against me? He showed me his working out and it is over £20000 since January. I'm worried if I push him then he I'll push some of the £14k of debt back onto me

So much to think about, isn't it

Firstly, it has to be a yes to seeing all the paperwork!

Estate agent valuation less 10% - well, yes it should be reduced from EA because they'll over-value them. But is 10% right? I don't know. But have you looked up similar properties on right move and zoopla to see what they are on for - and better still, recently sold for? He might be being honestly, or he might not. What he definitely will do is naturally lean towards the better end of a deal for him, even if it's vaguely fair overall.

So that's the first thing - get the paperwork, and do your own research.

Then this question of him keeping them or you taking them? I just don't see how you could take them. I just don't see a £15K salary getting you through an affordability check to take on TWO mortgages, even with proven rental income. So check what he is suggesting is even possible! Are you on the mortgages now? Do not do ANYTHING informal. If you take the equity and income as yours but his name is still on them - find out from a solicitor if you can make that legally binding. Unless you fancy paying the mortgages for not a lot of rent for ten years then him saying "time to sell up, that equity is half mine!"
Never ever trust someone on something like this!

On the pension - it's exactly this sort of thing you need a solicitor for. And why you need to see his full assets. Are you sure there is only one pension, for example? This one in payment now... seems early as you're only 45. Is he older than you, or is it military / police / some old and very specific NHS so earlier payment? If he ever had another job, chances are there is another pension.

You need to know exactly what signing over the pension entails, if he can do it, how much it will be.

As to your share: there are no absolute rules, you negotiate. And that's where a solicitor will help you with what is reasonable. What about your pensions? But it's quite normal for a woman financially disadvantaged from child rearing to request and get more than 50% of assets.

What's the detail behind the debt? Whose name is it in? Even if in his, it is part of the marital total so yes, your share could be reduced to reflect it. But if it's in your name he can't actually GIVE the debt to you.
No bailiff is going to chase you!

What was it spend on? If it was families holidays - yeah, accept it. If it was in a flashy car that you didn't want and never got to drive and he still has... argue against taking a share.

Yes, he can ask for his £20K paid this year to be considered. But I would argue that at least some of that he should have been paying anyway. Even though he doesn't owe maintenance for grown children, you have housed his kids. And fed them.

Look, I know I sound like he's an arsehole out to stiff you!
He may not be.
But information is your friend.
Do not be rushed, get all the information.

I'm about 2 properties having only £30K equity between them. OK, buy in early 2008 on a 100% BTL mortgage and it's easily possible. But it's low enough that I'd want to do my own research.