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Original poster

Moving in with partner - how much to pay?

15 replies

Pinklady0888 · 03/01/2017 07:47

Hi there,

I've been with my partner 2.5/3 years now. He bought a property a year into this and I bought mine a few months into our relationship.

I'm now selling my property and moving in with him. I'm not on his mortgage yet. Perhaps I will be in the future or we will buy a house in the future (this has been discussed).

I'm looking to change careers so I earn a good wage now but this may change. My partner is a high earner.

I'm not sure how much it costs him to run a house but I think we're looking in the region of 1100 for everything including insurance - maybe less actually. Including food.

I initially said I would pay 500 but that doesn't sit entirely well to me as it's nearly half and he could effectively chuck me out at any stage and I'd be left with no financial stake. On the other hand, I used to pay about 800ish for all my bills so it is a saving?

I just feel conflicted either way. Yes I want to pay my share and I want him to benefit but I'm also aware that I will no longer have the financial security of a property and he will benefit quite nicely.

What do u think? Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinklady0888 · 03/01/2017 07:48

I just feel a little insecure. He has started saying our house and our room etc but then occasionally says and in front of people - well it's my house. I've told him that that puts him in a position of power and it's embarrassing ..

OP posts:
CarrotLegsWanted · 03/01/2017 07:50

I would probably rent my house out until we bought a house together.

Could you do this?

Original poster
Pinklady0888 · 03/01/2017 07:51

I will have some savings from my house sale but not a mega amount as it cost quite a bit to move too.

OP posts:
jules179 · 03/01/2017 07:51

Could you discuss buying into his house so that you both have a stake? Or alternatively rent yours out while you move in with him?

Scribblegirl · 03/01/2017 07:51

Would you be able to keep your property on and rent it out? Any profit could go towards the cost of bills, or into savings, and you'd still be on the property ladder. If you wanted to buy something bigger together in the future you could look to sell then - and if it went tits up you could give notice and move back into your place?

Original poster
Pinklady0888 · 03/01/2017 07:53

Thanks Carrot - we wanted to do that but it turned out more expensive than we hoped. I agree though - that was the less risky option !

OP posts:
WatchingFromTheWings · 03/01/2017 07:55

well it's my house

This would be a red flag for me. My ExH did this and it got worse over the years. I got a lot of 'well it's my house if you don't like it you can fuck off'. (I did in the end which was a major shock for him!). I'd keep your own place and rent it out and would only sell it when he sells his for you to equally buy your (his & your) own place.

Original poster
Pinklady0888 · 03/01/2017 07:57

Thanks for your advice :) I hope this doesn't happen :(

My house is being sold now so too late and it wasn't a good rental opportunity as needed a lot of work doing to it. I had to sell as having trouble at work and then worried that I wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage if worst came to worst :(

OP posts:
RacoonBandit · 03/01/2017 08:02

He sells his and you buy one together.

Or he puts you on the mortgage asap.

Or you kerp your savings as a safety net.

Are you sure he is commited to you?

Original poster
Pinklady0888 · 03/01/2017 08:04

Yer I think he is - sometimes a bit slow with these things at times...

Think I'll have a chat with him and say that I want to be on his mortgage asap ? If it helps - he can keep what he's already paid into it? X

OP posts:
CarrotLegsWanted · 03/01/2017 08:04

I would really look into renting your property out.
You might consider it needing a lot of work but I've seen a few horrendous properties that were available to let. You can pull out of a sale.

Alternatively I would discuss buying a new house together asap. Could he put his house on the market now?

Original poster
Pinklady0888 · 03/01/2017 08:06

Yer I think you're right carrot - I love his house to be fair but I think it will always feel his? Unless I'm on the mortgage and I will always feel vulnerable and it's a commitment but it's not a full one is it?

OP posts:
jules179 · 03/01/2017 08:43

If you can pay in an amount equal to the equity that he has on the house and equally share expenses and mortgage going forward then he shouldn't have any objection to that?

CarlitosWay · 03/01/2017 23:18

Will you get money from the sale of your house? If you ask to be on 'his' deeds then might he then think you should split your savings? IYSWIM

SparkleSoiree · 04/01/2017 00:14

Personally I would pull out of the sale, make it fit for renting and let it out until such times as he is ready to sell his. Then both sell and buy a new one together.

If you sell and you know he isn't prepared to put you on his mortgage then you are putting yourself into an exposed position. Either live with him as a legal tenant with a contract or as a mortgage holder but I would think any other basis is not financially sound or boding well for a successful relationship.

You need to see him making space for you in his life to know he is committing to you and not ensuring you are legally protected is not a good sign...

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