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Original poster

Grandparent money

10 replies

Imogenblue · 30/12/2016 00:48

Hi, not sure where to post this but hoping to get an idea of if I'm being silly or not.

My MIL has never met my LO (due to reasons I'm sure I'll post about at some point) and yet after speaking to her recently she has offered to put money into an account for them each month.

Background info: she's threatened us with legal action for not letting her see her grandchild previously and I'm concerned that accepting money from her would count in her favour if legal action were to be taken in the future.

Should I just take the money and save it for the future or is it a bad idea?

OP posts:

Redglitter · 30/12/2016 00:50

I wouldn't accept it but if she wants to put the money away herself every month that's up to her

HerodZackHunt · 30/12/2016 00:55

If she wants to do it for them tax free then your DH could co-sign paperwork and take ID into a branch to allow her to open an account to save for them.
I don't believe saving some money (that she has control of) constitutes any form of established relationship.

Original poster

Imogenblue · 30/12/2016 00:55

That's what I was thinking, that way we've not accepted it as such. Maybe just telling her to put it in savings for them would make her feel better.
Then how we go about asking for it for them in the future is another issue.

OP posts:

Astro55 · 30/12/2016 00:57

They just need an account opened and she can have the details to put money in

My DC Have accounts and this is how I do it - it doesn't have to benlinked to her

Original poster

Imogenblue · 30/12/2016 01:00

I think I'll see if we can do that then, as long as it doesn't interfere with the legal side I don't mind so much as I'm not sure about her seeing them.

OP posts:

Astro55 · 30/12/2016 01:02

I don't think grandparent had rights - unless they'd provide a certain amount of childcare for a long period -

It's an odd request - she could save for them and not tell them couldn't she?

Original poster

Imogenblue · 30/12/2016 01:05

I don't believe she does, especially as they've never met. I was just concerned that accepting money would affect this in some way - like her helping with him or something.

OP posts:

Manumission · 30/12/2016 06:13

I wouldn't cooperate in any way with this if you're refusing access.

Not providing bank details, birth certificate or any information or discussion.

I would worry about it being raised in a legal case and it would feel like a compromised position to me generally; A contradiction or an appearance of a contradiction in my own stance.

RedHelenB · 30/12/2016 10:54

I would leave it. By helping her save for them then you are acknowledging her role as Grandparent. When they are adults she can contact them and give them whatever money she wants.

Original poster

Imogenblue · 30/12/2016 21:16

I thought that too, if I'm in a way showing and helping them to give my child money then I shouldn't have a problem with them seeing their grandparent.

OP posts:

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