anxious, homeless, domestic violence fleeing mess!

[GuiltAndWOrryAndSmiles]

Hello everyone this I see my first ever post but have been a big Mumsnet fan for years. I'm 25 , single and This February I fled an extremely abusive , violent relationship, taking my 8 year old boy with me. We have been in a women's refuge until TODAY :-) when we were given a bedsit, temporary accommodation. I'm chuffed as now don't have to "do Christmas" in one room with some unsavoury carachters lurking :-/. Sorry to sound stuck up but I'm afraid of being around drunk people/ people on drugs as my ex was as I now know, on both.
Anyway I applied for the necessary IAP etc and they're all pending. Unfortunately all my son and I have is a single bed (for him obvs, I gladly sleep on the floor and don't mind one bit), a lamp, our clothes, toiletries, small microwave and a bar stool type seat.
I had my Esa payment today and am not due anymore money until after Christmas.
I do have a microwave so I can knock up a (lame I know) Sunday dinner and I always eat standing up anyway and don't mind one bit,, so was thinking of decorating the largest, widest windowsill with tinsel and the bar stool so my boy can have a Christmassy dinner style thing. There's no way we can have a tree or anything like that, we're miles away from my friends and my family live abroad and are estranged anyway. We don't have a tv or anything like that and all I have managed to get for my boy are things that have cost less than a fiver or stocking filler type things :-(
I'm feeling really guilty and anxious for putting my boy through this after he's been used to lovely christmases with presents, decorations, fun, food, snacks etc and he's such a gentle, kind, quiet type of boy since we fled that I know he'll just go into himself, and be so gentlemanly and kind that he won't even complain. I see him looking at shops and other kids with scooters and hate myself for this. I should probably mention that my dose of anxiety medication has just increased so I'm not at my best anyway. The sheer despair is just growing and growing in me and it's getting worse with the "countdown". I've had to buy gas, electric, hat, scarf and gloves today and I just can't cope! My heart feels like a brick and in a bedsit, I can only go and cry in the toilet! Any advice or tips or anything would be so greatly welcomed! Thank you for reading !

If you contact the food bank they'll signpost you to a referring agency. cardiff.foodbank.org.uk/get-help/how-to-get-help/

There is also a toy appeal running in Cardiff. They may know how to find out if you qualify.

Do also speak to WA.

Go to any local church, they will help you.

I cannot thank you all enough. Spring in my step right now xX

I left my ex to move to a refuge in February so was settled by Christmas but you have given both of you a chance of a new life...Can you buy a couple of things like a game of cards, a few games from Chairty shop ..Make a few free games charades ...

It is not going to be as you hope but as it is recognised violence increases over Christmas you got out before it got worse.

I think you sound like you're doing great. You've just moved into a new home and one step further away from your unhappy past. Well done. It will take a while to sort everything, but before you know it, everything will fall into place. Don't feel sad because your ds doesn't have material processions. Be proud of everything you've achieved to escape and the bright future you are giving him.

I would second asking your HA for any help. Ours puts together hampers (toy and food) for their most in need families. They have a benefits team that is brilliant with advice for making sure you claim everything you're entitled to.

I hope you've managed to get some help OP! Please keep in touch with your support worker - I saw mine most weeks for a year after I left the refuge and she still popped in this Christmas and it's been nearly 2 years now.
I also didn't have beds when I moved into my house and the refuge manager organised some from a furniture recycling place.

Hope you are enjoying the day . As the saying goes it not what you give or receive it who you share Christmas that makes it ..xx

Hi OP, just checking you are okay I hope 2017 brings happy times x

Typing this as my 11-week-old dozes in his crib next to me. I just wanted to say how brave I think you are. If I ever found myself in your situation (and let's face it, we're all just one twist of fate away from a difficult situation), I hope I would have the courage and strength to do what you have done. When your son grows up, he'll be able to say, "Y'know what? My mum took a huge, scary leap so that we could both have a happier life, even though she was terrified. She did everything in her power to put me first and make sure I never missed out, even in her toughest times. My mum is an absolute superhero."

Truly, truly wishing you and your little one the best 2017 you could hope for. You are amazing and you got this, mama! Xxx