This is my income / outgoings - can you tell me how you would work this?

[MrTumblesbitch]

I am crap with money, and I want to turn this around. If I tell you my info below, please would you tell me how much you would save? How much would you pay off your debt? Am I being unrealistic if I thought I could get a mortgage in the next 5 years? I have 10k gifted to me for a deposit from a relative, but I would still need an extra £5k minimum.

Any tips for how to actually become good at managing my money and sticking to a budget?

Thank you! Info below:

In:
2,300 income - this fluctuates as I am self employed, usually £2k though
400 - child benefit and maintenance

Out:
950 - rent and house bills
200 - I am tied in to a franchise for next 2.5 years
100 - debt payments (I owe aprox £6k)
100 - sky / mobile / internet etc (will get rid of this at end of contract)
50 - fuel - I have a work vehicle so this is absolute maximum and there are no other costs to it.

200 - food? I currently would say I spend an obscene amount on eating out as I am knackered / lazy / depressed about cooking for 1 (Ds has a packed lunch on way home, cooked meal at school) so this is a guestimate for 2 of us for a month.

50 - cleaning products / loo roll / toiletries / bits that aren't food.

I have no savings and I need to find / put away money for my tax bill as from next Jan (which terrifies me)

Have I forgotten anything?

That makes total in - 2700 (though usually aprox 2400)
Total out - 1650

Why am I always broke??? If these were your figures, please will you tell me how you would run your accounts so I can learn how not to be so bloody crap!

A million thank you's if anyone has read this far! ps name changed as I am embarrassed - cubes of poo, your minge etc etc....

Hi OP as others have pointed out you need to be realistic about what you spend every month (not just write down what you would like to spend!). Start a spending diary and write down everything that you spend that way you can see where you're going wrong.

Also another major bit of advice would be to head over to moneysavingexpert.com and go to their debt free wannabe forum. You don't need to be in loads of debt! They'll help you conduct a FULL statement of affairs (soa) and advise loads of really helpful ways to save cash!

Yes that's definitely the food! If you're at the cafe every day and eat out a lot too, you could easily be on double that. £200 a month is actually only about £45 a week for two of you. Doable, you could eat healthily and sufficiently on that, but also not actually a huge amount.

If you can get your food spend under control I reckon you'll see more slack. Agree with a pp that, paradoxically, you might find increasing your grocery spend is the way to do it. If you know you don't have much willpower, trying to force yourself to stick to a £30 a week shop isn't going to work because far too often you'll just think fuck it, I'm having a takeaway. I'm like that with work lunches, if all I've got is a couple of sandwiches and an apple I get tempted. Instead I spend a couple of quid extra on nice salad bits and don't scrimp on the protein to go with it. I am the envy of the office and it still works out cheaper than any bought lunch.

So if you like a sausage sandwich and you spend £3 on one a couple of times a week, take that £6 and get yourself some lovely butchers sausages. Or if it's time that's the issue in the morning but you want something hot and edible on the go, try microwaving some bacon (trust me, nicer than it sounds). If you know you can't be arsed in the evening, get yourself a stash of decent quality low salt ready meals and buy some naice bread, salad, pate, smoked mackerel etc. Still loads cheaper than eating out.

I would also consult an accountant to see what can be tax deductible, and of course everyone should regularly check all utility bills etc to see if they can be reduced. Needs to be done frequently- just because you were on the best deal a few months back doesn't mean that will continue indefinitely.