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My dh - his family's cash cow (long)

3 replies

tribpot · 12/02/2007 20:58

Could have posted this in 'Am I Being Unreasonable' but have determined in advance than I am not

This is just to let off steam, and I am fully aware that many people would wish they were in this situation I think.

Right, dh used to be a contractor and earn a lot of money. His family clearly got used to depending on him to give them cash; he's paid of his brother's credit cards a number of times, and bought him a house to live in as well (sold before I met dh). When dh's mum remarried, she needed to buy out the previous wife's share of the house, and of course dh stumped up the cash, so he owns half of the house in which his mum and step-dad live.

Now that we are in the process of getting a mortgage of our own, we need to know the current value of dh's investment so we can work out what we can afford on an interest-only mortgage. Dh's mum said "oh, I thought when we sold this house [i.e. when the step-dad died, something which will happen fairly shortly as he is in his mid-nineties] I would use 'my' half of the house to generate income and you would buy me a house with your half" to which dh replied "no, I need my share of the house for my own mortgage".

Today it transpired that the step-dad was planning to leave his half of the house (the half dh's mum regards as 'hers') to his own children, simply assuming that dh would take care of his mum.

Now - this would be effing annoying anyway, I reckon, if dh was still a contractor and coining it but he isn't. He is chronically ill and has little possibility of ever being able to work again. So mine is the only income and we have our own family to consider, our own retirements to consider, and it is frankly effing outrageous that his family continue to regard him as cash point. Dh's mum has no money of her own, and whilst clearly we would never see her in the gutter, I just find the whole situation insupportable.

Right. Needed to get that off my chest! On to other things.

OP posts:
MrsApron · 12/02/2007 21:03

had a similar thing recently with family. I lost it a bit i'm afriad.

the phrase ok then you carry on pissing about and never getting a proper job because clearly that means everyone else should pay for you. We have more money because we work f'n hard not to subsidise you.

hope you get it sorted out

tribpot · 12/02/2007 21:08

Cheers. Dh is standing firm (don't bloody blame him given it's all his money!) - unfortunately I can see us getting backed into a corner when the house does get sold, recently MIL said "well you'd better buy somewhere with a granny flat" upon hearing the news that dh wanted his money back to pay off his own mortgage

OP posts:
MrsApron · 12/02/2007 21:25

oh dear God a granny flat with your mil in it. Not even a granny flat rented out for income or with a nanny stuffed in it.

Not sure if your dh step dad can do that with his share of the house though but a legal challenge is not alwyas the right thing to do.

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