Budgeting - which is fair?

[melibu84]

We are working on our budget for when I go back to work, as i like to be really prepared (not actually back to work until January!). We only really moved in together when I was starting my maternity leave.

My partner earns £5k less than I do, but I work in London so my travel costs are a lot higher. At the moment, as I am only getting SMP, I have been paying for all the household bills, but my DP has used income and savings to pay the rent.

Which is fairer, or how do you do it?

1. We work out the budget so we have the same amount left over each other month
2. We just split everything 50-50.

We work it so everything goes into our joint a/c (both wages + Child benefit + plus - if we'd got it - tax credits) and we each get a standing order just after pay day, of some 'spending money' which is the same amount.
You are a family now, and finances should reflect that, IMO. Neither of you should be having to ask the other for money, and I can't see the point in 'splitting bills' when you can just have the money ready in the bill paying account.

What BackforGood said works for us. Although over time we've kind of come to point where we don't bother with the standing order but just dip into the joint account on the odd occasion that we need money.

Same here. All the money in a shared account + the same 'pocket money' to spend as we wish. The money in the shared account is spend on food and bills + goes into savings. Any bigger purchases out of that account (eg. furniture, cars, holidays etc. need to be agreed between us beforehand).

I think that keeping your money separate and agreeing to pay 50:50 for things could lead to resentment/arguments if bills are uneven, someone gets a payrise or you have another baby and are on SMP...

Agree bills to come from joint account - for us, that includes food, mortgage, bills, petrol and £100 for savings. Divide by proportion of net income. Adjust each time bills or income substantially changes.

50/50 with cohabiting partners, I'd only share a joint account if married.

I think having equal amounts of money to spend is important.
So everything else goes into joint accounts one for monthly bills (gas, electric, mortgage, groceries, petrol, mortgage, insurance etc)
and one for quarterly/annual bills (car service, mot, tv licence, water bill, holidays, dc birthday and xmas etc)
And one (or one each) for savings.
Then work out getting-to-work/doing a job costs (eg travel and clothing) so each person has an allowence. Allocate money for DC (clothes activities etc) and decide where that goes.
Split the rest 50/50.
It is fiddly but it feels fair to me. We set it up when i earned more and now i'm a sahm.