Uni - we are well off on paper but not in reality

[SouthWestmom]

So my question is how on earth does ds fund uni? Having read some threads on here, we would find maybe £200 a month for ds but on paper we are much better off.

Late marriages, huge mortgage (over short term as we are old) and debt (we can't not pay this) all eat into what we have available.

I'm so worried as I don't want to be a cow but I can't see how it could happen for him? On here people are paying 700 a month.

Urgh my post was gobbledegook you catch my drift though

A lot of universities offer scholarships, eg AAA = £1000 a year. When we went round Kent one of the other parents explained that their son had only applied to universities where they could afford the housing - it was part of their criteria, together with somewhere which wasn't expensive to reach & had low local unemployment, so he could find term time work. I was so impressed by her practicality (& clearly still am).

It's so nice people have replied, I feel totally isolated when all his friends are going and their parents don't even hint at it being impossible.

I don't think it's ever impossible - it would be very unusual for someone's parents to tell them it was, I think.

The demographic of MN seems to mean that a lot of parents here help their children financially, to a varying degree, at uni - and whilst a lot probably don't, the norm here is certainly that you do, so those that don't probably don't post about it much.

I've experienced two unis (I went and then DP went and I lived with him), and in both cases, 75% of students didn't have any financial support from parents. Most were living off loans, savings and part-time work. We all did bulk-buying of huge amounts of food/house products to last as long as possible, and saved money wherever we could. The parents were supportive, don't get me wrong, but it tended to be a food shop delivered once in a while, or helping to move things, or paying for study guides.

My parents didn't support me at all - I got more loan and a grant because I am estranged from them. DP's parents just couldn't afford/didn't want to subsidise him at uni, and he got the minimum loan, it didn't even cover his accommodation. I worked and we were thrifty. It's do-able.

Your only issue will be if he is expecting handouts, but if you talk to him and let him know that you'll support him when you can (driving him up/food parcels now and again/letting him come home for cheap rent over the holidays to save money/whatever), then he can work the rest out.

I think if living at home whilst going to uni is an option, then living away at another uni is a luxury. I don't think you should feel guilty if you can't fund enough for going away to uni. It's about priorities and for me helping with uni costs is important, but helping with "living away for the whole university experience" isn't. (I hated it anyway)

Food delivery is a genius idea! I could definitely do that , and I think being practical as a pp suggested and looking at what's affordable to live in is the way forward.

I'm a bit at the uni experience line but maybe it would be hard if all your friends are socialising and you can't invite them back (llittle siblings) or stay because of the bus home. I guess it's why are you going maybe and trialking independence is one answer?

Desmondo - your comment of The loans and grant system will cover his fees and his accommodation and leave him with about £10 a week is totally misleading. My DS is going next week, there are no grants now and the maintenance loan is dependant on household income. Above a certain amount (~62K) they will get minimum loan of £3800, which will not even cover accomodation. It sounds like your son's friends may be eligible for the maximum loan of £8000+, which will probably not be the case for Ops DS, from what she has said.

My DS is paying 5300 for self catered halls in a northern uni. So we will be paying the shortfall for accomodation, then helping with living costs, plus he will use some of his savings from his 6th form job.

As for getting work, DS is keen and went to his uni city yesterday with CVs to give out. Most places told him to either look on-line or no vacancies. He will obviously keep looking when he gets to uni, but it is not a foregone conclusion they can get a job. Particularly one that fits around studying (DS is doing a science degree)

Like I said, my son was fortunate that he had worked at the local Tesco from the age of 16 and they do a university scheme whereby they transfer to the local store, and back again in the holidays.

Desmondo - your post is totally misleading. My son gets the minimum loan and in his first year it only covered half his accommodation costs!

I think uni is Ok for lower income families as students can get bigger loans and there tends to be bursaries & scholarships that they can apply for. However once you hit the higher income, which I think is about £43,000, I don't remember the exact amount, then the students get a much lower loan, even though their parents may not have anymore available income, due to large mortgages, school fees etc.

If you are helping your children with money, I would suggest its best to try and give them a regular monthly amount to help them to budget their money.

Most unis offer a hardship grant that looks at outgoings as well as income. Its worth applying.

Thanks sofa bitch. I will take a look.

I've just taken a new job and was going to put the extra £100 towards overpaying debt but now feel obliged to save it for ds. Which will just domino now if the others want to go!
It's such a mess , he's got old too quickly, I was trying to get straight and feel like I've run out of time.

You could put the £100 towards debt now, then when he goes next year give it to him.

I've worked out that catered halls are about £1400 more than the minimum loan, add an extra £600 (£20 a week) for alcohol bits and bobs come to about £200 a month that we'll have to find which doesn't seem that bad really...

I am in complete denial about housing costs in year 2 however!