Children's savings from Grandparents

[shouldwestayorshouldwego]

My parents very kindly paid into bank accounts for my dc. They are controlled by me, in the dc's names but all the money is for the dc. My parents wish in setting them up was for the dc to use towards something when older (e.g. car, uni, driving lessons). The dc are only vaguely aware. The amounts are not life changing but useful. I think though that there is no way of enforcing this wish as it will be the dc's money so could be spent on anything.

My parents are now both unwell and unlikely to ever add to them again. Due to age differences (numbers of birthdays, Christmases etc) there are differences in the amounts. It is about 200 less from dc1 to dc2 and 400 from dc1 to dc3. £600 in total.
I am wondering when would be the best time to redress the imbalance? We could try to do it in part over next few years or wait and in all probability there will be some inheritance in next 9yrs when dc2 turns 18. Alternatively we could make the money up for dc2&3 when they want to spend it but then would we be less inclined to for drinking/ drugs than driving lessons. If we did it sooner should we also factor in interest/ cost of living. Do these cancel each other out? I am keen that this nice gesture is seen as fair by the dc.

Are we talking £1k to £2k of between £4-£10k. If the latter, in the first instance id take the £600 from ds 1 and put £200 in ds2 account and £400 in ds3. At least then there is absolutely equality in the accounts now.

Sorry, I said ds, not dc.

We're talking around 1.5K each so not loads. I am not sure that I can take money from dc1 as it is her account. She is now 11 so the bank might want her permission. The money would need to either be given with her permission or come from us I think. £600 is not an insurmountable amount but would take some planning to carve out at the moment.

That's probably a deal of money to the grandparents.

We accessed DSS account without his permission up until he was 15 (he had no idea it was there). I'd still level it at the moment. And then add what you can back in, in equal amounts.

Yes it is cozie but not in the scale of 10K. I am reluctant to take any money from dd because it is money given to her, I would also need to take money from dd2 too. If I was going to ask them I would prefer to wait until they were old enough to make a more informed decision. They would all end up with just over 1K (plus interest). I guess my dilema is that it is doable but tight to add now, but in the future it might be easier, however we don't know how finances will be in 10yrs so might be harder. If you were the youngest how annoyed would you be if the amount was less because we hadn't managed to even it up?

I have seen a similar situation and one thing that struck me was how remarkably incurious about the funds the youngsters were - except that they believed that there was absolute equity on some basis and the funds have always been referred to as 'X's money'. (Perhaps they might be more curious if the funds were greater but at the amount you speak of?......)

I would aim for equity as soon as you can (it seems to equate to regard in many people's eyes) and then cease to worry about it. I certainly wouldn't over-think it. Yes, they might spend it on one weekend of wild partying - so be it, if so.