Parental rights/responsibilities

[yorkshirelass79]

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I would be absolutely disgusted if fathers (or mothers for that matter) weren't entitled to information about their children from the school. I hope every mother on here would agree. It is appalling how some parents try to exclude the other from basic information about the child. Please encourage her to give the father as much information as he wants.

I rather get the feeling that he receives the information by default in this instance Xenia! I think the OP raised the issue initially wondering what else he could have a say in in terms of parental responsibility (although I may be talking out of turn YL?)
This thread has particularly interested me as my neices school have told my brother that he can not have any information without his XW's consent, which she refuses to give.

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he cannot get info from the school unless he has parental responsibility.

i have just found out my ex has pr,apparently he was given it over a year ago without my consent, even though he had no relationship with ds then, had stopped paying maintenance and ds was spending lots of time in hospital. it seems fathers can get pr from being uninterested crap fathers. its taken my ex over a year of "having his piece of formal paperwork" to actually make use of it and offer to write to the hospital and complain about the abysmal treatment my ds has received

a biological father will have pr if

• he was married to the mother at the time of the child's birth or subsequently
• he is named on the child's birth certificate (post 12/03)
• the mother signs an agreement giving him pr on a prescribed form in accordance with regs made under the children act 1989
• the court makes an order giving him pr (mother would be a party to this application and would have notice of it)
• the court makes a residence order in his favour (automatic pr for as long as the residence order lasts)

I don't agree. I think they should have the right to the information in any circumstances. By showing an interest and getting it that might encourage them to be more involved and in any event I think they should have a moral and legal right to it even if they choose not to be involved however uninvolved they are (and my children's father is very uninvolved but he can still know anything he wants to - getting the information is not a reward for good behaviour - it's a right).

controlfreaky, my ex was given pr without me knowing about. i only found out a few weeks ago that he went to court in dec 2005 when he wasnt seeing ds and was given it, bit out of order really but there you go. were working through contact arrangements still now

I agree with Xenia. Why on earth shouldn't a parent be told how their child is getting on at school?

I don't see it that he isn't bothering to spend time finding out how his daughter is doing - he's doing exactly that by asking the school to inform him directly. He's just not doing it via his x. And at least she hasn't got the hassle of having to remember to tell him about every event at the school.

How are things between them? Do they generally get on?

brandy, i dont see how this could happen without you having the opportunity of taking part in the proceedings??
if he deliberately excluded you (put false address on application form?) then you could make an application to set the order aside.... if you felt strongly enough about the end result.... him having pr. what others have said is right.... if he is involved father (i summarise) he is likely to be granted pr.

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I only asked because I wondered if there were lots of arguments between them, maybe he'd rather get the info direct from them than ask your friend and risk another argument?

Sadly a huge number of fathers in the UK only get to hear about children they are never allowed to see by hearing from the school and looking in at school sports days at distance. It's dreadful.

xenia dont forget there are plenty of fathers that dont want anything to do with their kids at all and DO just try to wind the mothers up. theres many long term mnmers who go through this shit with their exes after they have battled to get the fathers GENUINELY interested and the mothers left to dry the tears when father turns out a failure where parenting is concerned, but an expert in upsetting poor mum

must dash, got to go to solicitors to sign my statement where my ex keeps wasting court time and his solicitor makes another £10,000 out of him for nothingmoney that could be used to get his son private healthcare and get him a correct diagnosis/treatment

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I know. Something should be done about these men - forced contact. My ex husband is the same but I still wouldn't deny the information to them from the school. It's hardly a massive reward for bad behaviour just to see school reports etc and whatever happens they will always be the father of that child.

I don't think forced contact would be of benefit to a child at all. Probably detrimental in fact!

agree winestein. think the whole family court system needs revamping. theres kids on here that i know are "forced"too see fathers that physically abuse them,sick sick sick and the poor mothers are forced to put their kids in the position of not being able to protect them

But most fathers who won't see their children are just lazy and fancy a weekend in bed with the new younger woman, rather than that they will damage the children. In part of Scandinavia parents are required to have the children 50/50 and that is expected and I think you get better fathers as a result.

Hmm... I just have this image of the child bored out of their brain whilst the dad sits there watching football. I suppose I have also seen far too many kids in tow for a pleasant afternoon at the pub. I can see what you are saying, but I think there is a real possibility that the types of fathers that show little or no interest in their children will not be a positive influence if forced to have them. Brandy seems aware of some circumstances which actually would be damaging - although I would fully accept that these would be in the minority.

yorkshire lass, il hunt out my exes PR form tomorow which lists his rights etc on it and post it for you. cant look now, much watch big brother

don't know if this is any help but i have pr for my step children. it was granted in the form of a residence order - legally the children have to live with me and dh. as far as we are aware and i have the same rights as a natural parent ie i can consent to medical treatment should they require it etc.
their mother did not have to consent to the order (she did), but as a non-resident parent she would have had to come up with a damn good reason (solicitors words!) as to why i should not have been granted pr.