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Good mother with stabilized depression husband drove out with son and went to his mother's to live

7 replies

singer · 09/01/2007 22:42

I have mental health problems which have meant admissions throughout my life. I have never hidden this from my husband who actually came to see me on my first admission. 2006 was a bad year for our marriage and my health. Admitted two weeks after my son started Reception. Was there 20 th September 2006 until 3rd January 2007. A month over the date I had been classified as well. I came out for home leave 24th and stayed out until Consultant discharged me 3rd Christmas brought know comfort or joy on 27th my husband drove out of my mother's drive with my son as i was coming out to get in the car. And went to his mother's where he has stayed since.

He threatened me with child care protection even though i had been a full time mother for my son (0 - 5 years). He asked for an informal separation with him and the boy staying in the matrimonial home. I got a solicitor because of these threats. I was incredibly frightened. Having been over three months in hospital then threatened with C C P is frightening. He would not allow me to see my son without a chaparone (something he fabricated throughout my stay in hospital which i thought was legal! bloody fabrication)

I am in the house at present.

His latest offering through his solicitor is that I see my son for two hours a week on a Saturday. And he wants the matrimonal house and me to move out.

I am hoping someone says this is a nightmare which will soon be over. This is not a joy.

today I meet with his teachers and they say that he is now suffering from bouts of sadness.

This is why I am writing this long winded story. I am so very sad for my son who I did not see today because he father said see what he has written from his solicitors. And won't let me see him tomorrow.

How bad must my boy feel. And don't forget I can not scream I cannot make a fuss I can go to my boy in the playground and hug him because they will say "SEE she is MENTAL!!"

Is any mother a solicitor of Psychiatry and Family Child Care. I am married to a nasty man who is egged on by a very nasty family. My solicitor did not tell me though highly recommended as she is that she was going on holiday until 17th. My husband is just laughing.

I need help. So far my son has not been frightened so it will happen. Please help.

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Chandra · 09/01/2007 22:47

I'm really sorry to hear about this, I can not offer advice but I'm sure someone will turn up soon. Hugs in the mean time.

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Edam · 09/01/2007 22:53

I'm really sorry you are having such a terrible time, Singer. Afraid I have no recommendations but hope someone can come along soon who has. Long shot, but might be worth asking Mind or one of the other big mental health charities if they can suggest any lawyers who deal with this area?

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Pitchounette · 10/01/2007 09:59

Message withdrawn

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Tortington · 10/01/2007 10:09

do you have a support worker?

what about contacting MIND and seeing if they have any ideas

contact the CAB - the law is the law and they will give you facts.

have you a social worker?

you need some kind of advocate for you.

your son needs an advocate for him.

maybe worth contacting social services and asking their advice

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Tortington · 10/01/2007 15:13

singer?

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singer · 12/01/2007 21:05

Thank you to the people who have written on this subject. It is difficult. My husband is allowed free access to the home. Only tonight he left razor shavings down the side of the bath. When he leaves something is always wrong.

I looked after my son from a little baby and now he thinks in terms of harming him. My husband is doing more harm by keeping the boy separated from his natural mother.

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Judy1234 · 12/01/2007 22:09

It must be a very difficult situation for you. You need a good lawyer and when people part usually it is better if they continue to see a lot of both parents wherever possible. At some point you and he and your son are likely to be interviewed to decide who it is best he lives with. Has either of you started divorce proceedings yet? The longer your son is with his father the longer that pattern is established so if you can get a legal order for more contact as soon as possible that will help.