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Original poster

Am I entitled to a share of DPs house?

37 replies

Kangaroo123 · 16/02/2016 12:39

I moved in with my DP 7 years ago - paid 'rent' then we had a child and I'm a stay at home mum. He has 4 other children, and I have one. He's still married and so his wife has a call on his pensions (she doesn't have any). He's already cashed in his main pension and they shared the profits. He bought her a house.

When I moved in there was no equity in the house - so I don't feel like I'm grabbing any previous money. But I do feel like I am contributing to this house and therefore I should be entitled to a share? 50/50? Just because he's the earner and I'm the stay at home mum - I'm not sure I'm comfortable with not inheriting anything from this house, for me and for my kids as well as his.

However, my DP has just left a will naming all his children as beneficiaries. I feel totally vulnerable. No pension, and no stake in my home. I'm seriously considering moving out - I could get a part-time job and in two years my own mortgage again and my own pension fund without my partner. Any advice?

OP posts:

coolaschmoola · 23/02/2016 23:56

Technically he HAS contributed though - by working and providing for you - roof over your head, food, clothes and everything else, you have been able to rent your house out to cover YOUR mortgage. As it stands you couldn't do that and pay rent on somewhere else and provide for yourself, one of your children and 50% of the shared child's needs.

It really annoys me when people pull the, 'I contribute to his household with my childcare' but fail to recognise the contribution the earning person makes that enables them to be a SAHP!

You have a house - he has a house. You've paid for yours because you can rent it out as you live in HIS house and have all your normal day to day expenses covered by him. He has paid for his by earning money that pays for the house AND you, and the children. How on earth do you work out that only you are contributing anything?

You call your house YOUR savings and therefore nothing to do with him... Yet despite meeting ALL of your financial costs of living you also want half of his house, even though he has five children and you only have one together? Ridiculous - and grabby.

cestlavielife · 24/02/2016 00:18

You have a house.
You don't need his.
If he is leaving house to all his kids that's fair . He has to provide for child not you as you not married.

Original poster

Kangaroo123 · 24/02/2016 01:39

Er.. Not sure it's worth arguing with posters above!

I was working, renting and paying for me and my child before I met him. I also had my house, rented because it was hard to sell. If I hadn't moved in with him I would have been able to get another mortgage on my own house.

He doesn't pay or contribute to my house. The tenants do. The only reason I am not working is because of our young child.

Of course he contributes. We both do, to our children, to the roof over their head. But I am not recognised as that.

I'm financially a lot better off moving out, working to get my own mortgage and using my house as my pension. There has to be something very wrong about my situation to be better off as a single parent!

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 24/02/2016 13:08

you dont need to move out to get a part time job.

why not work now so you are not financially dependent?

dont be financially dependent on someone you are not married to...

unless you get married you have no claim on his property (unless you spend £££s trying to prove a beneficial interest) , it's that simple.

and you have one other child who is not his right?
does that child get support from the other parent?
what will that child inherit?

Cabrinha · 24/02/2016 14:29

But it's not being a single parent that will increase your income, it's your plan if you move out to get a job that will do that
So get a job anyway.

Viviennemary · 24/02/2016 16:58

Why is what is yours yours but what is his is half yours as well. I think you are in a vulnerable position as you have no salary. But it's pie in the sky to think you can have a share of his house while hanging on to your own. You need a bit of a reality check. See a solicitor without delay and get some legal advice. Before you met him you were working and providing for yourself why can't you do it again. One man is financially supporting two women and five children. It's a mad situation IMHO.

Original poster

Kangaroo123 · 24/02/2016 20:12

Well I'd have been perfectly happy for him to divorce and us to marry, our original plan, and share all our assets. It would have meant me sharing more than him but I was fine with that.

Happy to share equity in my house witg his savings, pensions and car (at present his house is fully mortgaged so no money there!)

If I get a job now I would be expected to contribute to his mortgage. If he looked after our child I'd be happy to work.

The point about 'his' house is that, whilst it has no money in now, as we live together and the years pass, it will be slowly paid off my DP working and me looking after our child. Why would I want to stay a contribute to this mortgage when I'll he kicked out and have no claim?

Now if he said, I'll stay home, you work and keep your wages I'll provide us a roof - then no I wouldn't want to claim anything.

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 26/02/2016 15:00

While he is still legally married to his wife I can't see how this can possibly be sorted out. If you've been together seven years, have a child together and he's still dragging his feet about divorce that should be a massive red flag. I can see why you don't want to contribute towards his mortgage if you get a job. His wife will have a claim on all his assets if they are not divorced. Get legal advice. It's always a risk to be financially dependent on somebody you're not married to. And if they have a wife that's even more risky.

peggyundercrackers · 26/02/2016 15:23

I don't believe you would be able to claim anything on his house, at the most you may be able to claim a small amount of the price rise since you moved in but I think that would be it, it wouldn't be anything like 50/50.

You aren't contributing to his mortgage, you are paying rent to stay there - they are completely different things.

VimFuego101 · 26/02/2016 15:42

You are right to be concerned about your situation. It seems odd that he settled things financially with his ex wife without divorcing. How does he know she won't ask for more than what she's already been given when he finally divorces her?

meditrina · 26/02/2016 15:55

The bottom line is that his wife has a claim on the house where you reside as it is a marital assets.

You don't, because you are not his wife.

You might be able to secure an order allowing you to remain in his house whilst your child is a minor. But as you own a property, that's quite unlikely.

Your pessimistic appraisal of your financial vulnerability is I'm afraid an accurate read out of your current situation.

In deciding what you need to do next to get yourself on a more secure footing, the first question has to be whether you actually want to be with this man long term. Or do you want out anyhow for other reasons?

Original poster

Kangaroo123 · 01/03/2016 18:53

I don't really want out, but I'm just very tired of the non commital attitude of my boyfriend. I took a big risk by jumping in and moving into his house, having a child with them. And I don't think he realises how much I am vulnerable.

OP posts:

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