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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

cant afford Christmas :-(

48 replies

jameelah0121 · 12/12/2015 11:11

Hi all im just after a bit of advise I am feeling very depressed and low as I have no presents for my children for Christmas and have absolutely no money whatso ever any money I do get goes straight on the rent and bills and food I have nothing left over after,I have posted ads locally offering cleaning and ironing services for just 2 pound an hour but have had no interest I have also put an add on my local facebook page but have had no response does anyone have any ideas?I have 5 children the youngest is 13 months but he doesn't understand whats going on so im not to worried about him but my other four no and are expecting present s I cant bear to see them disappointed they have been through alot this year and I have promised them presents I dont no how I have got into this situation I have tried to save money throughout the year but have always ended spending when iv needed to I went into town the other day and people had bags of toys etc it made me feel so jealous and depressed please has anyone got any suggestions and please dont judge X

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 12/12/2015 11:14

Are you claiming your child tax credits for all of your five children?

It's about £200 a week ?

LaurieFairyCake · 12/12/2015 11:15

Do you know where your money is going? Are things breaking in the house that you've had to buy?

wannabestressfree · 12/12/2015 11:19

Tax credits?
Child benefit?
Maintenance?.
Catelogue? Very? Littlewoods?
It's hardly crept up so why have not saved any money or put some things by?.
I have been on benefits and to be honest I would use next week's money to get your bits.....

Finola1step · 12/12/2015 11:21

Through my work, I have referred many families to food banks at this time of year. Do you have a health visitor you could talk to? Or a family liaison type worker/ learning mentor in your dc's schools? Even if you think there isn't someone like that in your school, look on their website for info / staff list. These are often the best people to approach in schools. And schools are very aware of how tough Christmas is for many families.

Or you could talk to someone in your local church.

Tiggeryoubastard · 12/12/2015 11:24

Reported

chickenstylepieces · 12/12/2015 11:27

I got myself a part time xmas job at royal mail this christmas to get extra money. I guess with 5 children it maybe difficult to take time away though. I only have one and he goes to my mum or mother in law whilst i'm working. I know you want to buy them gifts but surely they will get some gifts at least from family?

noisytoys · 12/12/2015 11:37

Have you done everything to maximise your income as advised above (claim all the benefits you're eligible for, part time job etc)?

Presents can be bought cheaply - the bulk of the presents I've bought this year were from the poundshop or eBay. Bigger things I've bought from facebook selling pages. I work full time too I just won't spend more than I can afford and that means presents are cheap this year.

chickenstylepieces · 12/12/2015 11:40

In the meantime i agree second hand shops, freeads, ebay, facebook selling pages sell lots of good stuff.

fidel1ne · 12/12/2015 11:41

So that HQ can issue the normal warning Tigger?

LuluJakey1 · 12/12/2015 11:41

You posted something like this about a month ago and got lots of advice. Did you try any of it?

Does you children's father help financially? If not, you should make sure he does.

I think you need help from a food bank- your GP will refer you, and they do christmas presents for children often too. Our local one does because they have been collecting.

You should see social services too. They would help the children and make sure they had clothes etc.

Do you have family or friends who can help you?

fidel1ne · 12/12/2015 11:42

OP why would you advertise your cleaning services at just £2 per hour?

MNHQ
IonaMumsnet · 12/12/2015 11:43

Morning folks. Just popping by with a reminder that we do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

OP we hope you're able to use some of the advice other posters are giving and manage to sort something out before Christmas. Best of luck.

chickenstylepieces · 12/12/2015 11:43

Why has this thread been reported?

mouldycheesefan · 12/12/2015 11:45

Could sign up with a cleaning agency that may bring in some customers. But with Xmas two weeks away your health visitor or food bank prob best option. Hope things improve for you in new year. If you save a couple pound per week it does all add up by Xmas

fidel1ne · 12/12/2015 11:48

Personally I wouldn't hire anyone to do anything at such a low hourly rate. It's unethical and it would also seem suspicious to me. So I would consider that in future when setting your rates. Your price is part of your marketing.

Presumably you have some kind of childcare? Do you have other, regular work as well as advertising to clean and iron or are you jobseeking or planning on a bit longer at home with the small one?

EssentialHummus · 12/12/2015 11:48

I think the advice on your earlier thread is spot on:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2505877-help-please

Did you take the advice given on the earlier thread?

fidel1ne · 12/12/2015 11:56

You have two weeks until Christmas - assuming two tax credit payments - take £20-£25 each week, which is £4-5 per child in each of those two weeks and go on a hunt around the pound shops and charity shops. You should be able to get some small things to wrap for each of them. I have done this. It's not so bad.

Alongside that, find someone to refer you to a foodbank (housing officer, social worker, refuge worker, religious leader, healthcare professional) that will help with food and possibly some small extra presents.

Then google 'cheap christmas crafts' 'free christmas games' 'make your own christmas decorations'(maybe add the children's age range to your search terms) and see how many of those are possible with pen, paper and maybe another fiver spent cleverly on extra materials. DC really enjoy family games together. You CAN make it fun for them

You can do a lot with some ingenuity if you see it as a challenge, although it won't be a blingy xmas, of course.

In the New Year, join a credit union and start saving a fiver or a tenner a week for next christmas.

nickelbabe · 12/12/2015 11:56

There are loads of things you can do to make Christmas exciting even without having any money.
You can still make a fuss over dinner (even if it ends up being your normal dinner)
You can make hats from old newspapers (or any scrap paper and felt tip pens), and you could make bunting from old paper too.

If you have no decorations, then you can make those too

In terms of presents, be imaginative with that too. Buy something from the charity shop - it's surprising what they have at this time of year. Or wrap up clothes you were going to buy anyway.

Stockings are a great way of doing christmas (you can make those too or just use cushion covers) - apple, orange, chocolate, nuts, book, socks.

Go to some church christmas services, especially candlelit or "dress up" crib services - they feel magical. (And you should be able to find one on christmas day too)

Another idea might be to go to your local food bank - they have shelves of "help yourself" which are meant to be items that aren't on the strict provisions list. Uf you speak to the supervisor in confidence they will probably let you pick a few treats.

nickelbabe · 12/12/2015 11:57

Also, join your local facebook freebies page - sometimes they give away sone good stuff

mouldycheesefan · 12/12/2015 11:58

If your husbaMe left you to have an arranged marriage when he was already married that is a very odd situation. Were you divorced before he remarried? I can't see a divorcee with five kids being a catch for an arranged marriage. But regardless he needs to pay for the kids so call the child support agency.

Original poster
jameelah0121 · 12/12/2015 12:01

I think next week I will miss my bill payments and buy everything I need I will probably miss one rent payment and just start a fresh in the new year I have signed up with avon so fingers crossed My upstairs neigbour has said she will pay me 2 pound for each room I clean so its better then nothing x

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 12/12/2015 12:02

In your last thread you were paying an extra £200 a month rent until you got your dhp payment sorted.

Has that been sorted now?

Original poster
jameelah0121 · 12/12/2015 12:03

Credit union is something im defiently going to do

OP posts:
fidel1ne · 12/12/2015 12:04

jameelah I've just read your other thread. So housing benefit is £150 per week less than your rent? Is that the underlying problem?

LIZS · 12/12/2015 12:07

Why are you allowing yourself to be exploited? £2 a room/hour won't go far and anyone would be prepared to pay nmw. Don't miss the rent etc or you could start the New Year being evicted. Can you speak to someone at the children's centre or school. There will be charities to assist people in similar situations at this time of year. However your priority should be to pursue your ex (assuming he is an ex) for maintenance whether he is married now or not.

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