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Original poster

Divorce Help Please

13 replies

Quootiepie · 02/12/2006 17:46

DH & I have just reached the 1 year milestone which means we can now divorce, but im not sure we can...

Firstly, we only bought our house in June and we are locked for 2 or 3 years into the mortgage, and have to pay about £9,000 to get out of it. Can you divorce and not sell the house?

Secondly, if we do divorce, can I state I do not want his family to have anything to do with DS? (long story/ies - trust me, im not just being bitter).

Thirdly, ive been looking up grounds for divorce and am not entirely sure we'd be granted one - is domestic violence good enough grounds? Its only been once... the only other grounds were really before marriage, so I doubt they count.

OP posts:
Steppy1 · 02/12/2006 17:49

...or "unreasonable behaviour due to domestic violence" Presume you're getting some legal advice from a solicitor too....

Original poster
Quootiepie · 02/12/2006 17:50

no, not yet... it will probably be quite amicable, so we wanted to avoid solicitors... should I see one? How much does it cost? Divorcing seems very expensive!

OP posts:
lulumama · 02/12/2006 17:51

you absolutely must seek legal advice quootie.....

go to the CAB - they often run free legal clinics and can also help you find a good, reputable local solicitor.

you do have to be married one year before you can initiate divorce proceedings...IIRC.......

babe, you know how to reach me if you need me.....x

lulumama · 02/12/2006 17:52

you could do it on two years separation and live apart...amicable is ok in theory...but reality might well be difference..especially if you do not want his family near DS.....

Original poster
Quootiepie · 02/12/2006 17:56

we've been married 1 year, 2 days. Might try the 2 year split, but I will have to stay here and he pay the mortgage etc. I doubt he'll be OK with that for long. But in 2 yeras we will definatly be able to sell the house without penalty.

Might try CAB... will have to see what way DH wants to do it I guess first though. Upon hearing this news, hes fallen asleep

OP posts:
Original poster
Quootiepie · 02/12/2006 17:56

Thanks lulu - I might take you up on that sometime xxx

OP posts:
lulumama · 02/12/2006 17:57

you've not told him yet????????

has he done the anger management yet?

make sure you tell him before there is any chance he reads it first.....

lulumama · 02/12/2006 17:58

anytime quootie...........xx if only i had;lt failed law school, i'd absolutely help you out !!

Original poster
Quootiepie · 02/12/2006 18:01

lol, he knows - but hes just fallen asleep. We are trying to decide which way to go about it with the house and all that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Quootiepie · 02/12/2006 18:02

they cancelled on him, but, to be honest his whole attitude towards women is a mirror of his dad. And I hated his dad

OP posts:
Original poster
Quootiepie · 02/12/2006 18:09
  1. what do you do when one leaves the marital home?
OP posts:
lulumama · 02/12/2006 18:10

well, independent legal advice is the way to go...x

mumblechum · 04/12/2006 13:00

Hi, Qutie, sorry things didn't work out.

If you want to go for a divorce now, rather than in 2 years, you'll have to do it on the fact of his unreasonable behaviour. The DV incident, backed up by a few more incidents, not necessarily DV, will give you plenty to go on. You need to get yourself a solicitor to draft the petition (a copy will go to dh before it's filed at court, to iron out any glitches beforehand), and you then need to start the financial negotiations. It may be appropriate for you and child/ren to stay in the house, but of course that depends on being able to pay the mortgage. If you're working, you'll prob. get tax credits once he's left, so you need to add up your salary, tax credits, child maintenance (15% for 1 child, 20% for two etc, any spousal maintenance & other benefits you may be entitled to, and figure out whether you can meet the expenses.

If you're not working at the moment, make a claim for income support and housing benefit which will (after a long waiting period), pay the interest on your mortgage.

So far as capital is concerned, he may say he wants some of the equity in the house, but he may have to wait until child/ren are 18 before getting a slice.

There are a lot of details you'd need to pass on to your own solicitor to get specific advice, this is just a general rundown.

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