Is this fair?

[fizzbuzz]

Have just found out I can have a mortgage holiday, so want to take extended maternity leave.

Was absolutely gobsmacked last night when Dp informed me I would still have to pay 1/2 of all bills and food out of my savings, whilst he carried on earning, and he wasn't prepared to foot all bills as he wanted more money to play with.

He seems to see it as giving me money...

Is it me...?

Depends on your relationship. We always saw it as our money, had everything in joint accounts and agreed everything and never rowed over money but we had similar views on it and both worked full time always.
I have a different perspective having been through a nasty and expensive divorce now but I'll keep my cynicism to myself.
Perhaps carry on working in that case so you're not financially prejudiced.

No that isn't Fair!

I just wanted to warn you that taking a payment holiday can go against you if you try applying for a new mortgage - we took a payment holiday when dh was made redundant but our new mortgage company wouldn't consider it a holiday but arrears
Although mortgage company wouldn't accept my passport with my marriage certificate either as I had been married more than 3 months

No its very unfair.

Maybe you should post this under relationships?

Is he going to do half of ALL the childcare responsibilities then?

Sorry, but I'm w/Xenia, I'd carry on working whilst looking at an end to the relationship.

You're a partner not a roommate.

Who wants to parent w/someone who's that selfish?

His child too, right? Tell him he's the one who's staying at home to look after the baby while you go back to work. And that he'll have to pay out of his savings.

Then kill him.

Not fair at all!!

We are taking a payment holiday on our mortgage as I am going on mat leave next year. We would normally split everything 50/50 and the way it is working is that DH is paying exactly what he would do normally which will cover all the bills and leave a bit extra for me.

I'm gobsmacked that your D(?)P would want to have more money to spend on himself, it's his child too FFS!!

Whoops, I'm a bit worried that some mortgage companies see it as arrears ,as payment holidays are so common these days.

where's the 'we'

doesn't sound much like a family to me

It's a bit complex. Basically it is a second relationship for both of us. He has 2 ds who live with us, I have 1 ds, and we now have dd. We all live together, so bills etc are v.expensive.
We decided to fund mat leave, by both using equal parts of our savings.

However when I found out about this mortgage holiday thing, I wanted it, and assumed he would cover bills, as no mortgage to pay, and I would live off my savings, as his total salary would struggle to support everything. I would have taken care of ds and dd, as his dc are older and one is at uni, although they all need paying for...

Dp has been struggling a bit for cash lately, But I have now no income at all. I don't expect him to fund anything for me or ds apart from food and bills.

What i don't understand is, he is normally the most unelfish man I have ever met. This is just so odd. I just presumed he would cover bills, as his income would not be really affected, with no mortgage payment. But he thought otherwise...

If you baby is born after April 2007 there are new laws coming in stating that mat leave can be transferred to either husband or wife I believe. make him have the last 3 off (you get 9 months after april)