How do you afford a second child?

[Frizzyliz]

So my dd turns 2 at Xmas and we are thinking of possibly trying for number 2 over the next few months/a year.
However, I just have no idea how it is possible for people to have 2 children!

Dh earns around £30k and I earn around £23k.
I work full time and dh is a teacher with dd in nursery full time. It costs almost £200 a week for 51 weeks of the year.
We chose a nursery as we need reliable childcare without worrying that the childminder has a holiday coming up/is ill so we need other arrangements as we don't have anyone to watch her while we work.
We own a home, but consciously made sure we didn't borrow above our means. I also budget like crazy to save on groceries and we don't go on holiday or do expensive things.

If we were to have a second child it looks like more than my entire wage would go on childcare so it wouldn't be realistic for me to go back to work even though I would love to be able to work 2 or 3 days a week (I doubt I'd be able to find work like that though)

How do people ever afford to do it? I know we are both in ok paid jobs and people worse off than us manage it but I can't see how we could.

If you want to stop working and stay at home, then choose to do it but don't assume that for short period you salary will go on childcare so it isn't worth working.

The overlap for the time when most of your salary goes on childcare is going to be fairly small (assuming you conceive quickly and there's three years between them, then it should be two years maximum and may well be less). When working you can hopefully get childcare vouchers when your work sort it out, plus you are accruing NI and pension contributions - these are all things to take in account. Plus it is often easier to get a job when you already have a job, so you might find it easier to move to a part-time job.

But of course it all depends on who quickly you get pregnant and have no. 2. We wanted a three year gap, we got a 5y9d gap which of course worked out very well money wise but doesn't make up for the two years of almost continual miscarrying, so you never know.

Would it be possible for you to temporarily extend the term of your mortgage to reduce your monthly costs until your first DC is at school? We did this after having our DS - extended the term from 18 years to 25 which reduced our mortgage payments by £160 a month. (We will have to change it back when DS goes to school as DH was 46 when DS was born and I'm sure he doesn't want to work until he is 71!)

Just wait until the first is in school? You don't have to have a really small age gap. 3/4 years is fine.

What is the point of having a child if they're to be in childcare for 51 weeks if the year? Not meant to be a dig - genuine question

Aqua - well the majority of the population have to work so the majority of children have some form of childcare. You do know days are 24hrs long and most people only work 8-10 hrs

And the fact that nurseries require you to pay for 51 weeks to keep the place open doesn't mean they'll be there for every available day - the OP's children in particular will be at home with Dad most of the school hols.

We were in a similar situation having DS (second child). We waited until DD was 2.3 to start trying, so that we could take advantage of the 15 hours (she had been at nursery since I returned to work part time after having her). That kicked in just as I went on maternity leave. I've chosen not to return to work after DS because even with DD's free hours to put them both in nursery would cost £10 less than my monthly wage. As a PP said, if I was working my way up in a career I loved I may well have felt differently but it was a job I knew I didn't want to go any higher in so I don't regret my decision. Things are tight, no question, but I get to be the one who sees Christmas plays etc, and that's pretty priceless to me.

If your DD is 2 at Christmas, assuming it's before 1 January, she gets her 15 free hours as of January 2017, and starts full time school in September 2018. You said you're thinking of TTC in a few months, so you just make sure you don't get up the duff before March 2016. Provided you leave it til after that, you'll never need to pay full whack for two. There'd only be a three year gap, so that's pretty close together.

If you time it particularly brilliantly, you might have a baby in about July 2017. Thus giving you six months of lower childcare costs after DC1 free hours kick in, then once you go on ML she can do the 15 hours only. It'll be plenty. And you can do your full year's ML before going back in July 2018, DH has the summer off with both of them, incurring no childcare costs if he can manage to get his prep done at weekends and evenings, and in September 2018 DC1 goes to school and DC2 starts childcare. Also, the new tax free childcare scheme will have come in by then, so you can either stockpile vouchers or, if that's better for you, go for the new scheme instead. Sounds to me like you'll probably be able to pull it off. The dates you're planning on TTC actually jive pretty well with minimising your childcare costs.

It's crazy OP, so different to when we had our older two.
We have always had a sahp and one min wage plus tc, we have 3 dc.
Apart from huge luxuries we have always managed fine, but it is not the case for your generation, it's barmy.

aqua I'd love to be at home and spend more time with my child but unfortunately it's not something we have been able to afford to do. I don't think it means there is no point having a child as her presence makes all the struggles in life worth it. She won't remember that she was in nursery full time and by the time she starts remembering when she's in school she'll be the same as everyone else.
liesel wow that's some calculating. And it saves me doing it. I'm really going to o have to write it down and maybe that could be our way out.
like I always thought I wanted to work up the career ladder and although I want to be proud of what I have achieved at work going back after dd has made me realise that I don't really want/am able to put in the extra hours required. I only work in admin so I think I'd more like a job a few days a week for that adult contact (as I don't have many friends outside work colleagues)
However your point about being able to see Xmas plays etc makes me really think. Being able to watch my dd grow and being able to be a part of her life has changed me so much and gives life purpose beyond anything I felt before. Really something to think about.

What is the point of having a child if they're to be in childcare for 51 weeks if the year? Not meant to be a dig - genuine question

What if a couple both have to work full time to pay the bills/mortgage/student loans? Are you suggesting that they hang on 20 years so they're older and one might be in a slightly higher salary to afford the other to stay at home or go part time? What if it's too late to have children by then?

Many couples I know now are both working full time to afford basic living expenses-not swish cars and holidays that they can cut back on.

It shouldn't just be the rich who can have children.

Thanks!

Another point OP is that you're using a nursery at the moment. CMs are generally cheaper. I realise you prefer nursery for the reliability, but that's not going to be an option for wraparound care when DC1 starts nursery is it? So it may be cheaper and easier all round to get a CM for both. Some of them do term time only contracts which may suit you.

We afforded childcare for dc3 from stockpiled vouchers. So as yours is currently 2 I would time it so 15 free hours starts as number 2 arrived. Then save £243 voucher each month while on maternity leave. Then take as long a maternity leave as possible so a full year will be nearly £3k in vouchers. That should cover the extra costs of two in childcare before your eldest starts school.

If you can find a nursery that does term time only its so much cheaper.