I don't want to claim benefits illegally but....

[crimplene]

I'm getting incredibly stressed about money. I moved in with DP while DS was on the way. DP gets housing benefit for his place, so I'm living there illegally, and it's not really suitable for a kid. I was self-employed before DS arrived, but have had to stop work to look after him. I'd like to go back to work, although I'd love to be able to be a houswife for another couple of years first. I don't think DP can look after DS if I do go back as he has a seriously bad back following an accident(for which he gets incapacity benefit) and can't pick DS up, and is sometimes laid up in bed for days at a time.

I own a house in another town so my entire income is now £300 per month, from renting out my house plus child benefit.

The relationship between DP and I is shaky for a variety of reasons, but we're trying to make it work and we're actually really happy on one level. DP doesn't want to give up his tenancy and IB claim to move in with me if I buy a house nearby unless I give him a share of the house. Some of the money was inherted from my grandmother and some of it was my graft.

Dp thinks he might be able to do some kind of work, when he's OK, but he's been out of work for a long time and I think it could be hard for him to find anything. But I don't want to hand over a chunk of my house for it all to fall apart. I don't want to break the law by claiming benefits/ tax credits I'm not entitled to. I'm desperately skint, and I feel like I'm living in limbo.

Help! Where do we go from here?

how old is your baby?

what filly says is right.

If you were to both move into the house you already have he would still get his incapacity benefit. You could claim income support. You wouldn't get hb but you might be entitled to some help with the interest on your mortgage from income support, and you would probably get most of your council tax paid. You would also get child tax credit.

he's 6 mo. i'm typing one-handed too- teething pains. no he doesn't get dla, just income support. the tax credits seems fairly low but i can't remem,ber now

Personally, I'd move back into my house and tell him he's welcome to join me when he can either 1- look after our son all day and take care of the other usual SAHP things like buying the groceries and cooking or 2- Gets a job that pays enough to cover childcare as a minimum.

How long do you want to live on nothing? You need a plan to work your way out of this hole. That may involve further education or working your way up the ladder. To quote my favourite Tracy Chapman line "If you aint got no plan you aint goin' nowhere".

So, I would let him in when he can tell me his plans. I can't stand a man who has no ambition and no plans.

Well he's pretty good at he cooking and cleaning stuff so he'd be OK if ds were older, he just can't lift 20lbs of wrigging baby. His plan is to try to cash in on the voluntary work he's been doing for years - he's good at bookeeping and a few other things, but can't sit at a desk all day beacuse of the back problems.

Really, he's lovely guy, or I would never have got involved in the first place.

But I agree, I can't live on fresh air for very long.

Going back to the tax credits, if you were working for 16 hours you woud still get help for your child care (up to 80% of the cost your partner doesn't need to be working if claiming incapacity beinift to get this help) and depending on your income up to 105 per week as wtc and ctc. If you don't work ctc would be about 45 or 55 per week no wtc. Your partner would still be able to claim incapacity ben if you are working.

I haven't read every word so apologies if this has been said already, but your DP cannot claim housing benefit and pay you rent as his landlady if you have a relationship. The rules specifically cover this so if he were to try and do so making a claim would be benefit fraud. If you are living together "as man and wife" all benefits claims have to be made jointly so by not mentioning you, your DP is already committing benefit fraud. The only way out of this mess is to maintain separate households which I totally appreciate you don't want to do, but if your relationship is rocky it would seem madness to entangle yourself longterm financially at the moment. I don't mean to be horribly negative, but a lot of people feel very strongly about benefit fraud and are very resentful if they are struggling themselves and see others claiming money they aren't legally entitled to. I know a number of people who have been reported and it must have been by friends/neighbours/family.

Hi, try www.entitledto.co.uk to give you an idea of what tax credits you are entitled to, declaring your income from the rent etc. or not...

I can see the temptation to maintain the status quo but you are surely culpable too. I don't know whereabouts you live but £200 per month income from renting somewhere out seems light ? Where are you registered to vote , pay tax, for bank, doctor etc Are you named on any bills etc for his house. Is he still claiming single person discount for Council Tax etc. Think you should visit CAB to reassess what your current household set up is actually entitled to as it could be far worse if you get caught.

Once this is resolved then you can focus on your long term relationship, perhaps having the lease put into both names to start with or finding somewhere else to rent jointly. He does sound as if he lacks commitment and drive to make the situation less one sided though.