Can Tax credits/HMRC access medical records.

[RadioTimesCE]

Hi everyone.

I have a DD with my ex, we co-parent very well and get on great but unfortunately there's no going back for us. I left a few years ago and moved about 3 miles away, but stayed at the address of my doctor that ex and DP are registered to, as the surgery is close to DD's school and it's a bloody brilliant surgery with an amazing reputation.

To cut a long story short, I want another baby but have unfortunately never met anyone since leaving ex and I feel time is ticking for me. Ex met someone but it didn't work out, I truly believe he is not cut out for relationships and much prefers the single life, although he's an amazing Dad, really amazing and we co-parent 50/50. DD is desperate for a sibling and since ex and I have a great relationship I had a chat with him about maybe trying for another, but not getting back together (which neither of us want, he much prefers to live alone) He said he'd love another and although I know it's not conventional we started trying 22 months ago (all very scientific, just when I had positive ovulation tests) It hasn't happened and I spoke with my Dr about it who has referred me for fertility tests.

My appointment is next week and ex is not really willing to attend these appointments as a couple, he said he's happy to provide a semen analysis but doesn't want to pretend to be a couple and have to go to appointments due to being busy with work.

The trouble with all this is that I don't know if I have any right to these fertility tests as we aren't a couple? I feel guilty? Like i'm a drain on the NHS, but I just want to know if i'm infertile. The other problem is that I now rely on tax credits to help me get by, I don't get much but it's a real help when the bills come in. Ex does give some maintenance and provides everything DD could need or want at his house.

Can HMRC/Tax credits access my medical records and see that i'm getting fertility tests alongside my ex? I'm so worried about it, as I would imagine i'd have to pay back the tax credits i've received since we separated? I'm one of life's worriers and feel it may be better to cancel the appointment and realise it's not meant to be. For what it's worth, ex receives no benefits of any kind.

I've seen on here all the compliance checks some poor people have gone through, they've never worried me as I know i'd be fine, but now i'm thinking if I go ahead with this appointment and I am ever subject to a compliance check then i'd be prosecuted as they'd assume we were a couple due to these fertility tests?

No,they will not know about you having fertility tests.

However, the docs may find it a bit strange that he isn't attending,especially if he provides a sample (the results of which you actually have no right to know and should be given to him).

Is it possible that you are feeling cautious because this really isn't a wise idea? Or is it really about tax credits? If so, sorry, but I think you have your priorities wrong. I hope and would imagine that it's the former and something is urging you to consider what you are doing

TripTrap I fear you may be right. I just want another baby so much as it's not looking likely I will meet anyone for the foreseeable future and because ex and I still get on so well I thought it could work. There has to be lots of couples who have split up and accidently fallen pregnant to each other after spending the night together as a one off. I guess I just thought it could work.

I think i'm looking at all the negative outcomes of going ahead. Tax credits being one of them. Are you sure they don't have access to them? Does anyone else? There are things on there such as PND that I would hate for anyone to be able to see.

That aside, I still would really like to know why I can't fall pregnant. I just want to know if something is wrong with me. If there is then at least I know. I do not want to go down the IVF route and will not be doing so. I just want to know if i'm infertile I guess? If I do go ahead with the tests, they will be confidential in terms of tax credits/employers etc?

I think you're right, you are absolutely screwed if you are ever compliance checked and this comes up. They may well assess your details more when they find out you are pregnant by the ex you split with a few years ago, too - and if they find evidence of fertility treatments together, you'd probably find it very difficult to counteract the idea that you are actually a couple.

You're unease about this is because you are misleading a lot of people, and playing the system. I have doubts over whether the NHS treatment will go ahead without him present, but even if it does, you need to go into this accepting all the risks.

I don't actually want treatment, just tests. I just want to know if there is something wrong with me. If there is then I don't want it fixing, i'll accept another child wasn't meant to be. Unless of course I meet someone else in the future and want a child with said person. I just really want to know, surely that's natural and normal?

It's not worth going for the tests though if it could get me into any trouble in any way, as i'm genuinely not doing anything wrong in terms of tax credits.

It won't matter that you don't take the treatment, really, though. You've gone for tests. It's not a normal situation to go for fertility tests with your ex, and you won't be able to explain it well - it'll look bad, and you'll only be able to make it look worse.

I don't think it's worth it, if I'm honest. Realistically, you are not going to be told that you are infertile, because you have a child. There is a limit to what tests and treatments will even be on offer, as you already have a child. So you may end up losing tax credits and perhaps looking at them reclaiming an overpayment of a few years, if they believe you never really split, for something that doesn't seem will actually give you many answers.

I think your options are to continue as you are and hope that you fall pregnant, to take steps to get pregnant in another way, such as IVF or self-impregnantion with donor sperm, or letting this go as something that probably won't happen unless you meet someone else. I can understand how hard that is as a decision, but if you rely on tax credits (and any other benefits based on being a lone parent or income), your plan is too risky and full of holes.

Thank you for your advice. Spoke with ex before & he isn't willing to go for tests. I was still hoping I could. JustOne So you believe they have access to medical records? Nothing is sacred! I would assume nobody did.

I think it's a drain on the NHS (sorry)

There are a few tests they could do, some are quite invasive and will need surgery as in general anaesthetic. But as you already have another child they may be reluctant to do so. If you went with another partner after a year or so of trying they may be willing to look in to it but as you say you don't want ivf so what's the point?

Plus don't count on tax credits ! They are slowly doing away with them so don't use them as a basis on being able to afford kids.

I think you need to chill out and just wait and see what the future unfolds with.

I don't believe they do have access to medical records. Even the police have to jump through hoops for them