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Original poster

what to do about friend and car?

28 replies

dmo · 25/11/2006 21:32

i'm a childminder and last week one of my mindees mums had her car stolen from outside her house
we have two cars and because she couldnt afford to hire a car or buy a car we have lent her our second car for 6 mths (it was due to be taxed so she is taxing it) we have the car serviced and mot each year and the car is 4 yrs old
anyway her insursance note came on weds so she picked the car up (needs taxing on fri)
she phoned me today, she had to be towed off the moterway as the head gasket is about to go

how upset am i, she needs the car for monday for work and wants us to pick the car up from her and fix it
hubby thinks she should pay half as we are lending it her for 6 mths, he also thinks she was driving fast
dont really feel like spending £300 near christmas on something i do not really need
what would you do?

OP posts:
FredBassett · 25/11/2006 21:43

Surely she couldn't have done the damage to the head gasket in the couple of days she had it as opposed to the 4 years of others driving it. If I was her I wouldn't expect to pay. Have you drawn up some sort of contract for wear/tear, damage mileage etc... over the 6 months?

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 21:47

only signed a letter my dh wrote to say we have lent her the car and any traffic offenices caused from x date were due to her

OP posts:
fireflyxmasfairylights2 · 25/11/2006 21:48

I wouldn't get it fixed If you don't need it. Unless she has paid you to hire it for the 6months already? In that case I would wither reimburse her her money, or fix it

If she hasn't paid then tell her you can't afford to mend something you're not going to use, and if she wants a loan of the car she'll have to fix it herself!

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 21:50

no payment from her to us as it was a goodwill gesture to lend it to her

feel upset for her but dont really want to spend £300 this week

OP posts:
LIZS · 25/11/2006 21:53

I fear it is one of those things that does just go no matter what maintenance you do. If she wants to continue the arrangement then she should contribute towards getting it back on the road or you do it in your own time but tbh you're going to have to pay up at some point to use or sell it yourself .

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 21:56

my long term plan is to give it to my sister (who is having lessons at the mo but will take at least 6 mths to pass) so i will have to have it fixed to give to her

just bad luck which is attracted to me

OP posts:
LadyMuck · 25/11/2006 21:58

If you can't afford it right now, then don't. If you don't have a working car then you can't lend it to her. She's no worse off than if you hadn't lent her the car.

mummydear · 25/11/2006 21:58

Car four years old and head gasket gone - perhaps see what the warranty is on it .

LIZS · 25/11/2006 21:58

So she has a straight choice - find herself an alternative vehicle (presumably insurance are paying up for hers ?) or at least offer to contribute towards fixing yours and have 6 months free loan in return.

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 22:03

her car got pinched on the saturday, police only took a statement on tuesday, insurance will pay up but its time and paper work
she got my car on the weds i said she might aswel have it for 6 mths cause of the tax

if i dont fix it should i pay her the tax back?
going to put it on my parents drive (fits 3 cars on) if the bill comes to a lot but i will book it into the garage on monday to see the tow man might be wrong

OP posts:
SaintGeorge · 25/11/2006 22:04

£300 for a head gasket? Bloody hell.

Did it actually go and cause further damage or is it just on the way out? I am truly shocked that a job like that costs £300 these days.

LadyMuck · 25/11/2006 22:05

Yes I would repay the tax, but check whetehr you can get a refund if you declare it SORN.

SaintGeorge · 25/11/2006 22:09

You can get a refund for each complete month left on the tax.

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 22:12

stGeorge its just what the tow man told my friend he could have (and hopefully) plucked a figure from the air

think it depends on the car and how they get to the gasket i suppose all i know is that my car is blue

is it a big job like a gearbox?
prob just paying for labour
but i have a wonderful macanic who fixes my car and knows my car so hopefully it wont cost the earth

i just want her back on the road (only use my car at weekends) its no big deal just wondered if she should pay towards it thats all

OP posts:
SaintGeorge · 25/11/2006 22:18

I don't know an awful lot about cars, but I listen to DH swearing on a regular basis when he is doing jobs on ours.

The general rule of thumb I follow is that if he can fix it then it is a relatively easy job, not needing masses of specialist tools.

He has done head gaskets a few times, with minimal bad language, so that has to be a good sign

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 22:20

oh good i will drop it off at yours tomorrow

might mean not lots of money

just made my mind up i will get it fixed and back on the road b4 it frezzes up for the winter

OP posts:
Xales · 25/11/2006 22:26

£300 is cheap for a head gasket

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 22:29

is it?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 25/11/2006 22:36

If you don't want to spend £300 right now or can't, then DON'T!

Shit happens. It's happened to me often enough.

You loaned her the car, it broke, you can't afford to fix it now.

End of story.

Wants you to pick up the car from her and fix it at your expense?!

That's a bit rich! No, come to think of it, that's just rude.

Also, unless she's the registered keeper, they're coming after YOU. For everything.

Can't afford to hire or buy a car until the insurance pays out? Hey, take a bus.

Been there, done that. Would not have DREAMED of borrowing a car off my childminder and then having the audacity to demand they cart if off at their expense, fix it and give it back to me by a deadline!

Xales · 25/11/2006 22:41

lol yeah. We paid over £500 mind you ours needed two but they had to strip most of the engine out. I think parts were less than £100 of it!

Perhaps we were totally ripped off lol

SaintGeorge · 25/11/2006 22:43

Unless there is some damage to the head itself, a simple gasket replacement really shouldn't cost anywhere near that.

What car is it?

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 22:44

fiat brava

OP posts:
SaintGeorge · 25/11/2006 22:53

Hmmm, maybe I am wrong about the price then, having just done a quick bit of googling. I did discover though that apparently Fiat Bravas have a bit of a bad reputation for head gaskets going .

Maybe DH is more talented and deserves a bigger pat on the back than I thought.

Good luck.

Original poster
dmo · 25/11/2006 22:57

think your dh should get a side line job of fixing cars
just think how much money he saved you

OP posts:
SaintGeorge · 25/11/2006 23:00

Damn. I'll have to be nice to him know won't I