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Original poster

can you get a final court order changed?

14 replies

7up · 05/11/2006 17:27

for exes access?

OP posts:
TwinklingTinselAndTenaLady · 05/11/2006 17:29

You can appeal, I beleive.

Original poster
7up · 05/11/2006 17:31

tenalady,does that mean going back to court and giving your reasons etc

OP posts:
Freckle · 05/11/2006 17:35

You would have to apply to vary the order and, in order to do that, you would have to show that circumstances were different from when the original order was made. But yes, you would have to go back to court.

Alternatively, stop complying with the order and force ex to apply to the court, but that isn't something I'd advise.

Original poster
7up · 05/11/2006 17:41

hi freckle, he visits tues 3.30-5 supervised by my mother (which my father hates her doing), he also visits every other sat for an hour which i despise doing, i really cant stand him in my house. he upset my eldest ds 3 weeks ago and he cant stand him being in our house, he goes out when the ex is here .but with the weather changing and getting cold he wont want to go out and i dread to think of the atmosphere in here when HES here.

i just fucking hate it, i dont want him in my home fullstop but theres no alternative as ds is only 2, has only just started seeing his father and with his health issues and the exes inexperience theres no way he can have unsupervised contact.

the final order was left as all contact supervised.

sorry for waffling, but ive still got the hump about him being in here yesterday and the thought of him being here in another 2days and me having to go out with eldest straight from school is not good

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 05/11/2006 17:42

Are you happy for him to have unsupervised access?

Original poster
7up · 05/11/2006 17:43

xenia,i dont know if our messages crossed or not?

OP posts:
Freckle · 05/11/2006 17:46

What about supervised access at a contact centre? If access at your home is becoming impractical, perhaps that would be an alternative.

Original poster
7up · 05/11/2006 17:49

we looked into that before freckle but because ds gets ill a lot and i mean a lot for his benefit i offered to put up with HIM in my house, im finding it an awful lot harder to be around him than i thought.

i think the fact that hes blown up and shown his true colours infront of the boys and my mother and the badfeeling that has caused is the icing on the cake really.

i actually made an excuse tuesday for him not to come, cause mum was ill and couldnt supervise and i didnt want to be near him.

yesterday was awful and it was only an hour

OP posts:
Freckle · 05/11/2006 17:53

What has he done? If his behaviour is unacceptable, you should be able to apply back to have the order varied.

Original poster
7up · 05/11/2006 17:58

basically 3weeks ago i asked him to contact the csa (we were talking quite friendly then)to find out where his money had gone as they said theyd lost it. he had a very arrogant attitude typically and said it wasnt his problem, i tried explaining that his son would miss out blah blah blah, he continued being an arrogant bastard , it all got very nasty, my mum came round, he carried on shouting and the usual finger pointing, arms crossed indtimidating stuff.

he upset eldest who kicked the crap out of a door and ran off crying down the road and ever since its been fucking awful.

really its the 2 sats a month which are a problem.my mother is quite happy to do tuesday even though father doesnt like it and i hate having to find somewhere for me and eldest to go.

the sats have to be supervised by me and he just makes mefeel so uncomfortable in my own home

OP posts:
Freckle · 05/11/2006 18:14

Well, in that case, make a note of all his unacceptable behaviour and tell him that, unless he improves, you will stop Sat. access. If he objects, he'll have to apply to the court to have the order enforced. At that time, you can disclose his behaviour and hopefully the court will see how impossible the situation is.

Original poster
7up · 05/11/2006 18:21

thanks freckle, hope your situation has improved since beginning of week on your thread.

OP posts:
Freckle · 05/11/2006 18:52

All's well here, thanks. DH and DS1 have gone to London to visit MIL who is still there and no idea when she will have her op. DS2 is going a bit gung-ho with the new shower (at least he's managing to wash his own hair now - and if you could see his hair you'd understand why that's a "good thing") and DS3 keeps leaving the back door open so the cats can come in if the fireworks frighten them, despite the fact that they are all seasoned catflap-users!

Original poster
7up · 05/11/2006 19:24

aw bless em! my 3cats have a done a runner to somewhere safe i hope, blinking fireworks, theyl probably mooch in later wanting cuddles no doubt

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