Money arguments.

[Ihavenobrain]

How can my dh and I just start again with money.
It's awful. We are both bad with it and don't save.
I'm sure if we tightened our belts we could enjoy so much more!!
Any advice or questions welcome please

You need to do a statement of affairs.
Pen & paper will do.
List What's coming in and what's going out.
List all your bills, rent utilities debts what ever you have.
Id go through bank statements if your unsure, that way you'll see what's going on. If there are random spends for food, coffee lunches out etc.
Once you see what needs to be spent ie your bills, you'll be able to make budgets with whats left.
Check your utilities to see if your on the best affordable deals - mobiles, sky etc.
Check the debt support thread there's lots of advice there and spreadsheet's to download.

You only spend what you have. Take away some of your wages as soon as it gets into your bank account. Get a standing order for a sum each month to go into a pension plan. You cant touch it until you get to retirement age so cant spend it willy nilly. If you don't know you have it in the first place you would not miss it.

I move 2k out of my account on the day I get paid, every month. Husband does the same, but more as he is paid more. That money is considered "spent" and sent to an account we never touch, then into ISAs asap.

If the money is there, I'll spend it. So getting it out of the way is an absolute must.

YY to writing down incomings and outgoings so you know if you have enough money for essentials and if you have anything spare.

You also need to save something every month for annual expenses like insurances, car tax and MOT, Christmas, holidays etc etc. Do not consider this money 'spendable' on a daily/monthly basis.

The fairest way of sharing money is to use everything coming in to firstly pay essential bills, food, work travel, child expenses etc. Then put aside some money for savings including those mentioned above.

Share what's left 50/50 for general spends including anything 'personal' that is wholy or partly discretional. Eg clothes, work lunches, gym memberships, hobbies, haircuts and beauty treatments. Eg - you could take packed lunch and a flask to work or you could buy coffees and lunches out. But this can add up to a lot and cause difficulties and arguments if you are spending more than you can actually afford.

Similar for clothing - yes everyone needs some clothes, but most people probably buy more than is truely necessary - if you've added up your sums and can afford to spend 40 pm on clothes, buying designer items will cause problems.

Moneysavingexpert has a good budgeting section and list of expenses to consider.

Thank you. I'll take a look. We just don't seem to have time to sit down and communicate.

We have separate bank accounts.
Could we go into the bank and add me to my husbands account?
Is it as easy as that?
Then we are going to get my wages paid into there and then we are going to use the budget planner on money supermarket

You can get added to accounts, me & oh did it when we got married. Take photo id's etc with you.
You need to find time to talk about money, just so your on the same page of expectations. Its no good if one thinks your doing fine if the other thinks your drowning in debt. You could do the initial budgets then discuss it. Don't make assumptions or accusations if there are problems. Make the "we" conversion not you, iyswim.
When you've a joint account you can take some more control.
My oh has no interest in the accounts, as long as we've money & paid bills he goes with whatever I say. I just run him through it now & again, to keep him in the loop.

Annie I need to do that too.
Dh sorts all bills at the moment and i just panic and never really know where we are. Saying that neither does he. One minute he's spending then the next minute he's saying we can't even afford to buy a pair of tights for dd!!

Come and join the big debt thread.
In the opening post are links to some of my spreadsheets that you are welcome to download and play with to get a better handle on where you are...