jilted at the altar, ,,,,,,,,, is there any legal recourse?

[stitchthezenmaster]

aaaam sao mad on my friends behalf, feel like taking out a hit for this guy.
my friend had a great big huge wedding planed. she had taken a month of work to go abroad and do her shopping, (asian weddings!) obviously time off for the wedding. everything ws all planned and ready. hen night taken place. relatives from all over theworld flownin, on his side as well as hers. etc etc etc
ten days before the big day, he texts her to say he cant do it.
this was an arranged wedding, though not the sort that gets bad presss usually. his parents are very apologetic. but what use is that to her? public humiliation, aa fortune in money down the drain. severe blow to self esteem.
how can someone be aallowed to get away with such behaviour? does anyone know if she has any legal recourse?
tia

But surely better to deal with all this now than endure a miserable marriage? Are you saying that he should have gone through with it regardless?

I have no idea under English law stitch.
Breach of promise might be an option...
Poor woman. But agree that he was actually kinder and more honest to call things off in the circs, even if she finds that hard to accept at the moment.

no, i just feel angry that he put her through all this. if he didnt want to marry her, then why allow all the marriage plans to happen? why allow all the spending?
he has humiliateadaaa hisa paarents as well as the girl. why? whats so special about hi m that he is allowed to behave in this way towards others?
the marriage was arranged in jamuary. why did he wait six months until just before the big day ? he would saved everyone a lot of misery.

i dont know if she will aaactully do anything, i think she wants to do her best to forget it ever happened, but thats easier said than done.
i just wanted to know if there was anything that could be done, iyswim.
thank you both for your replies

I remember from my law degree that there is no recourse for this in the courts... we discussed it in contract law... so nothing she can do there... best do what she can to move on and leave it behind her...

true mancmum........

unless they had some sort of insurance policy to cover this eventuality and they could recoup some money.....

otherwise.,..nothing to be done sadly....

ho w absolutely awful for your friend...

omg.
do bridezilla's know this? i bet its not common knowledge.
so its possiblet o spend a years pay on a wedding, and if the git doesnt turn up on the day, its all shot to hell?

It is terribly sad, but she really is better off this way than if she got married. Sometimes grown-up children of Asian families just don't know how to say "no" to their parents because they are brought up to respect them so much. So they can be pushed a long way down the marriage route before they get the courage to call it off.

A friend of my dh's was in an even worse postion, in his whole life he has simply never disobeyed a direct instruction from his parents, whom he adores. He ended up actually going through with the marriage, but without any emotional commitment, he just wasn't ready to be married and was a terrible husband. He and his wife started divorce proceedings within about 3 months of the wedding, causing great distress to both families, not least dh's friend and his wife.

I am quite sure about the law as it was one of the few useful things I got out of my degree!! I know there is wedding insurance but I doubt that would cover not turning up... it is usually for things outside of your control... ie illness, accidents, bad weather etc...

jeez.
big weddings are a bad bad bad thing..
athankyou all for your advice.
maybe aa hit on the guy is realaly thae aaonly way forward.

It probably isn't any comfort, but I bet the guy is feeling almost as bad as your friend. I remember dh's friend coming up to his wedding, I've never known anyone so torn apart by a moral issue, he was really in a bad way about it.

He txted her to end it?

Am I the only one who wish that txt messages had never been invented?

You used to be able to sue for breach of promise years and years ago fro broken engagements, don't know when that was withdrawn.

Obviously, the decent thing for him to do would be to repay your friend for the money she and her parents have already spent.

Stitch, it is sad for your friend but in the long run, she will thank him.

My Sikh friend's first marriage was arranged, lasted 3 months because his bride was in love with someone else. His second marriage was also arranged, that lasted 2 years because his bride wanted her own house and he would not leave his parents. Each wedding cost in excess of £20000 and I have had to endure years of him moaning about all the gold each wife got, their silk outfits etc. He is now 43 yo, still unmarried and considering a 3rd arranged marriage just to please his mother. I'm expecting to spend long evenings on the telephone listening to him.

Maybe he was agonizing the whole time, trying desparately to convince himself that it was a good thing, that he could make it work - perhaps he was desparately afraid of disappointing his parents and so thought he could go ahead with the wedding to please them but finally realised in time that it would be terrible for him and his fiancee? He didn't necessarily wake up one morning and think, d'you know, I can't be bothered with all this, think I'll just send her a text.
One day your friend will be able to look back on this and hopefully realise that short term embarrassment and pain and financial cost , awful as it seemed at the time, was nothing compared to years of a loveless marriage to a man who should have done the right thing and stood up to his parents, or whoever arranged the marriage.