Who will love your children?

[talcam]

Just a thought as eventually I am getting round to writing a will- who do you leave your children to?

Is mum too old she is only 50 and dearly loves them?
MIL and FIL 10 years older and spend half the year in france
Brother and gf just moving in together but prob not ready yet.
BIL and wife live far away and not as close to them.
Friends all starting or have families and would they love mine the same

So just interested to see what other peoples solutions are

Here in the US they would go into the foster care system.

I am so glad I found this thread as I thought I was the only one that hadn't put this kind of thing in order. It is such a depressing topic. I couldn't stop thinking about it last night and when I brought it up with DH we were not in agreement over who DS's would be left with at all

SSD I think they'd go into care here too and that just doesn't bear thinking about older kids are rarely adopted and who would keep three together ? It breaks my heart to think about it but I wouldn't foster and yet I'd want somebody like me to foster mine

Probably my Mum (48) and my stepdad (52).

It's not an easy decision tbh, as my DH also has 2 children from his first marriage (the DSs) who live with us pretty much all the time so DD (our biological child) has a very close relationship with them (not half sister/ half brother type). My Mum and stepdad live 1hr 45mins away from us, the DSs birth mum lives in the same city as us. I worry that if DH and I died (horrific thought), that DD would lose out on her relationship with our DSs (and vice-versa), which is an utterly heartbreaking idea.

The only other options are DH's brother and his wife who live locally, but that is wholly unlikely as they have 2 kids in the early twenties and are just enjoying getting each other back, plus the fact that now spend 6 months of the year in their house in Greece.

I'd want DD to be with my Mum, if I'm honest, but I do worry about the effect that would have on her relationship with her brothers.

We are meant to be re-writing our will - when it was written we didn't leave the children to anyone - and although I really want it updated every time we discuss it we end up on ' But who do we leave the children to ' again.
I'm going to have another attempt at getting it re-written this weekend....but still no idea who to leave the kids to.

If my parents were 50 I would have them as legal guardians without a shadow of a doubt.
Unfortunately they are in their late 60s and my mother isn't in the greatest of health
So, my brother and SIL are on our will and my brother has promised that if anything happens to us he will be on the first plane to take my children 'home'.

I was glad to read what cat64 had written which is that the guardian(s) can decide where the children should live rather than them necessarily being the person(s) who would look after the children. It has helped me to think about this once again and I think I've worked out the best answer for us.