Is this really a very complicated will ?

[Debbiethemum]

Hi, question about will's, guardians, and how to be fair with money.
DH & I will be making finally getting round to making a will. We don't have a lot (or anything) other that what is tied up in the (small 3-bed terrace).
BIL & his wife will be named as guardians. They haven't started their family yet but are planning to soon, also haven't brought a house/flat yet but will probably do so soonish.
What we want to do is let then use the equity in our house so that they can buy a bigger place (i.e. with 2 extra bedrooms so our children have somewhere to sleep). Then when our two leave home or finish university BIL & wife can release some of the equity back to our children so that they have something towards their first house.
We should also let BIL & wife keep some of that money to pay them for the general expenses of raising our two - BIL & wife say "don't worry of course we will look after you children" but we just want to be fair.

the way we have done ours is like this:

my sister is named as ds' legal guardian. In the event of both our deaths, all our money/house/life assurance policies will pass to ds, but it will be held in trust until he is 21. (or is it 18 - I can't remember now), my sister and my sil have been named as executors of the estate, and my sister will use any money required to help her with ds' upbringing. I do think leaving money to just the family member has potential to cause tention in the family, even if that person is the guardian of your child, I know for instance my sil would be very annoyed if we left money to my sister and not to her, even though my sister will be looking after my ds if we both died. obviously I do appreciate though that my sister might have to use some of our money to help buy bigger house etc to accommodate ds as well though, so indirectly she would benefit from it iyswim.

Thanks for that
I wasn't suggesting they kept all the money , because circumstances may change and they may not be able to look after two extra children. I just didn't want the money tied up so that BIL, wife, their potential children and our children were all stuck in a tiny house and had to share bedrooms eg when DD is a teenager and has to share with a cousin 10 years younger when there is all that cash tied up in a trust fund - we want BIL & his wife to be able to 'borrow' it to buy a larger house which could then be sold (or remortgaged) when our two leave home and put the money back into the trust fund to be given to DS & DD.

not complicated at all - choose your executors wisely - have one who isn't a guardian as well as one of the guardians and write a side letter

will post more when not in the middle of helping at a halloween party

Thanks for that, would like to choose my Dad as the other executor, but he would be 86 by the time dd is 18 (though a very fit these days, with no health problems and loves walking over the hills etc).
My sister, is not that sensible with money & doesn't like children though she quite likes mine in very small doses (that is why she is not going to be a guardian) and I would like some involvement from my side of the family

My db & sil would be dd's guardians but my sister is also co-executor with my brother. All of the estate will go to them (db & sil) though i'm considering placing at least part of it in trust for when she's older anyway. I trust them to use it wisely and if any is left over when dd sets up home, i'm certain they'll pass it on to her. The will is probably worded that way anyway but I can't remember. The key is having someone you trust 100% to do right by your dc's but you know that anyway .

btw, you can put in the will whatever you like and this is only my opinion but I wouldn't expect db & sil to have to sell up tbh if they'd spent years of their life looking after dd. Knowing them though, they probably would

What I'm planning to do is leave say 66% to Sister and BIL to buy bigger house and help to pay for upbring of our LO's. And the put say 20% in trust for all of the kids education theirs included (wouldn't want the kids to grow up together and then there not be money for my sisters kids to go on to further education but money for mine.) and then then 14% for my babies to have when there 21 just to know that I'm still thinking of them.
I'm afraid I won't be leaving any money to any of the rest of my family. I wouldn't expect to be left anything from my siblings under similar circumstances.

OK this may be getting complicated.
If we die tomorrow, then BIL & wife should get at least half the money as it would cover the childrens upkeep, but say we don't die till DD is 17 & DS is 20, then it's a lot of money for 1 year.
I suppose I would want a sliding scale say 2% per year per child going to them of the capital while they are in full-time education.
Does that seem fair (btw house is probably worth £230k)?
If nothing else this thread is helping me clarify my thoughts.

There's a fairly standard form of words that you can put in to say that guardians can use some of children's estate to (e.g.) buy bigger house, etc. -- it's very normal and a will-making solicitor can do it with a hand tied behind his/her back.

ikwym debbiethemum but I guess I shall think about chnaging my will as dd gets older and or circumstances change. I don't have any set plans for her education yet wrt which school etc but no doubt as she gets older I shall form some opinions. You may want to do the same?

Thanks for all this help.
DelGhoul - I know what we are like and we would never get round to altering the will. If we were organised enough we would already have a will !!!

A sliding scale seems like a good idea but it's difficult to know isn't it. Investments may not do well and there's inflation etc. Hopefully none of us will have the need for guardians and it is a minefield. I only have one dd and am on my own so it's a bit easier for me I suppose.

Ince it's in place though it's probably fairly straightforward to adjust I would've thought, maybe every 5 years. Just thinking out loud btw