Is this fair in your opinion?

[robin3]

Currently debating with a colleague who's in this situation...

His mum is ailing but could still live another 20 years. She needs to move in with his sister but will be self-sufficient for the near future. In order to do this she wants to sell her current house and invest it all in the new property. She has just announced that she plans to leave her daughter the money that has gone in to the house which will be 100's of thousands and leave him any monies left over which will probably amount to nothing.

Fair?

FioFio, sounds like a very similar situation.

Think there may be quite a lot of people here sort of assuming that the sister (being a woman) will be the loser in the long-term BUT knowing the bloke I think it's very sad as he has doen so much so far and is a thoroughly nice chap.

I bet that the Mum does become too much of a handful in the end and gets put in a home when the sister is due to repay the generosity.

Anyway...at the moment I'm managing to make him feel a little better with the likelihood that the sister will have to genuinely care for the Mum for a long time and fingers crossed she does.

robin I wouldn't wish that onto anyone

I don't like the sound of either of you tbh

fio NOOOOOOO I didn't mean you!

I was responding to the OP

Thanks Cappuccino...it's not me with the Mother it's my colleague. Frankly I can't imagine how he feels but no I know how you feel!

having lived in families where nursing an elderly relative was a daily grind that took over years of what should have been happy life, as I said, I wouldn't wish it on anyone

you saying you were 'keeping your fingers crossed' that someone would end up with that is bitter and cruel and no, it doesn't make me warm to you, however much you agree or disagree with what your friend's sister is doing

Only read OP

we're in a similar position, in that mil is leaving all her money / house to bil who was good and never left home.

I feel a bit bitter that she hasn't thought to help our Sn son who may not be abe to hold down any decent sort of a job, but for us I say sod her- her money, if it gives her pleasure that's fine.

It's not fair of course, but you have to rise above these things, and I can see an argument for leaving Sis she is going to live wiht more, as it is likely to majorly affect her life at some point

But I don't get people who disinherit their kids