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Original poster

ADVICE NEEDED FROM A SOCIAL WORKER

16 replies

mummisery · 22/10/2006 21:24

My 14yr old dd is pregnant and the person who got her pregnant is a schedule one offender. My dd has had many problems started by the sudden death of my mother. If ss decide dd cannot keep her baby will i be able able to bring up my grandchild. Please help i couldnt live with myself if they took it away

OP posts:
QuootieSpookypie · 22/10/2006 21:32

Bump for you xx

Original poster
mummisery · 22/10/2006 21:34

Thank you Quootie x

OP posts:
Heavenis · 22/10/2006 21:44

They would assess your suitablity. If your dd and her bf were still together they would not allow the child to remain with them.
They bf would not be allowed contact with the child,unsupervised due to the schedule one status.

Original poster
mummisery · 22/10/2006 22:06

No they are not together and what does assess me suitably mean. I have two children, alot of young mothers get to keep there children or at least get support if a family member offers to look after child why do they have to assess me my children have been well brought up

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 22/10/2006 22:18

I think that's likely. Presumably your daughter lives at home. It might be worth seeing a lawyer in advance just for half an hour just to get ready for whatever you might have to do if there comes to be a fight over this.

Original poster
mummisery · 22/10/2006 22:22

Yes i think i will xenia i dont think dd understands the power of ss and i have tried to make her understand. I just feel that ss have already made the decision because of her previous problems its so unfair i think this would just destroy her altogether they should at least give her a chance

OP posts:
mears · 22/10/2006 22:26

SS will try and keep them together, but DD will have to demonstrate that she is trustworthy. That was why I was saying you need to explain to her how her behaviour will impact on the decision whether she keeps her baby or not.

onlyjoking9329 · 22/10/2006 22:27

as long as the baby has no contact with its father and you are able to support DD in caring for the baby then that will go in your favour.

CountTo10 · 22/10/2006 22:31

I can't tell you but my aunty got legal custody of her granddaughter after her daughter (18 at time) tried to smother her. It was a case of if one of the grandparents wasn't prepared to come forward and take custody, she would have been taken into care. I would have thought that unless your dd was behaving in a way that would have serious impact on her lo then ss would have no choice but to get involved - if they could see she had your support etc then it might be they might get involved more on a support basis than to whisk newbie away and that if it did come down to it they would do everything they could to ensure that newbie was kept with you rather than fostered out. I will advise that if it comes down to that, you need to ensure you get a proper legal agreement in place to ensure your dd does not have the ability to change her mind/position etc. Sounds harsh but in my auntie's case, it served her well. Hope that helps and that you get some good advice on this.

overthehill · 22/10/2006 23:04

I'm a social worker (although I work with adults) & I feel pretty confident that the team involved would want to keep the baby in the family & be only too pleased for you to look after it. But they would have a duty to make an assessment of the whole family situation if they did become involved and make a decision primarily in the best interests of the child. Social workers are trained to work in a person-centred & holistic way, weighing up the benefits and possible risks for all those involved in accordance with the relevant legislation, and they should offer support to maintain the family unit if they feel it's a suitable environment for the baby (& it sounds perfectly suitable to me!) rather than wanting to pass judgment & punish your dd. I agree with those who suggest you take legal advice, however, as the more informed you are, the better.

Original poster
mummisery · 22/10/2006 23:09

Thankyou for all your advice i will definately get some legal guidance

OP posts:
BATtymumma · 22/10/2006 23:41

This may be of help

basicly as long as the father will have no future involvment with teh child then i am fairly certain that SS would offer you ongoing support. as long as you were willing to be joint guardian for the baby there would be no real reason for the removal.
i know you say your daughter has been in trouble but unless that trouble was habbitual drug abuse i think you will be ok.

even if that was the case, it would be only extreme cases where the child woudl be removed.

It is the primary role of the social worker to ensure the child remains with family.
they may be heavily involved from now on and my advice would be to be as open and as honest as you can.

People's gut reactin to SW's is to clam up and say what they think we want to hear. dont. it just comes across as if you have something to hide, you dont! your daughter mixed with someone who was cleary (by his previouse S1) an abuser of her trust and she fell for it. its not her fault that she was groomed by this man.

by all means speak to someone legally qualified but try not to get overly defensive. if your daughter displays the desire to be a mum and shows justhow much she wants this baby that will be enough im sure.

loopity · 22/10/2006 23:44

Mummisery
As a social worker (but in adult services too) I would echo entirely what overthehill has said. The main focus would be to keep the child within the family unit (whether with a parent or extended family member) whenever possible following assessment - and I also agree that your own family situation as you describe sounds suitable! (I would also suggest legal advice too to help strengthen your case in any way)

All the best x

loopity · 22/10/2006 23:46

sorry - Xposted with battymumma - lot of sound advice there too

N1SEXYTING · 29/10/2006 16:16

Hi, I work in Children's social services (though as an assistant social worker) as much as they would like to keep children in the family the main thing is that you would be assessed in terms of if you can bring up the baby now and in the future. You might be able to apply to be a kinship carer (which is fostering) or special guardianship.

It can get very complicated so my advice is to contact your local SS and make a referral about your fears about your unborn grandchild so its in the system.

They will visit you to do an initial assessment and take it from there.

Good luck

mozhe · 02/11/2006 12:37

mummisery, what a lot you have on your plate ! But take heart, I do a lot of work for SS, they will look to you pretty quickly if your DD cannot manage on her own,( and to be honest at 14 she can't...), as part of what they call ' kinship care '. Speak to them honestly about what you feel you can offer your grandchild, they will want to know your views about the father...that will probably be the clincher, so have a really good think about that issue. At the end of the day it's all about what's best for the child. Good Luck.

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