Hello everyone.
I am the boyfriend being referred to here. This issue has caused some problems, so in the hope of finding a solution, i wish to add some detail.
With regard to the “£200 a month” this was the suggestion from my gf. I admit to being disgusted at this offer. The “£300 a month” was, contrary to what my gf says, not suggested by me. This came from a good friend of mine whose advice i sought. He, being a very generous and wealthy chap himself, asked me what my gf pays in rent/bills currently on her overseas flat, that being £600pcm approx. He told me that its my gf and i should be generous with her and suggested the £300 figure as being reasonable.
My GF was unimpressed with this and sought to exclude it as she had no idea how the conversation went and what was discussed, but would rather seek some views on here as everything would be in black and white. Fair enough.
At no stage have I actually suggested a figure, but only that it be reasonable for both of us and we are both happy.
I have though told her that i don’t want or expect half of everything. My mortgage payments are quite large.
I also don’t expect any contribution at all for my children. It cost me about £100 a week for childcare (for which the childrens mother does not pay a penny, despite working full time, but thats another story!) when I have an au pair, which is not all year round. The Au pair also does 10 hours a week cleaning, and cooking too, so that benefits us all.
My gf would also have the use of a small room for herself as well (somewhere to chill out away from me and the kids!)
Total bills per month (excluding anything mortgage related) are around £450.
Having looked at a website for local rooms to rent, they seem to be about £500 pcm inc bills, or less excluding bills. There is a cheap one for £325 a month, but occupation is mon-fri only, no weekends.
I think some suggestions on here seem fair eg – 1/5th of bills plus cost of a room in a shared house, or half bills plus half cost of a room in a shared house.
I am though aware of my gf’s concern over travel costs, though higher London wages should cover or at least help significantly towards this.
I am also keen that ultimately she does pay less than she would elsewhere. That it is cheaper for her than to rent such a room or such like, but at the same time I feel aggrieved at being ‘ripped off’ or that she might have an expectation to live ‘rent free’. In principle alone, i think that is wrong.
As regard salaries, I have no idea what she earns now or expects to earn in London. I don’t have a large salary. I don’t know who earns more, but that is not too relevant. We both i would suggest are nicely above minimum wage, but without troubling high tax brackets.
I hope a happy medium/compromise is available here.
Any help or suggestions are appreciated.