Talking to children about money.

[OctaviaZest]

When is a good time to teach your children about money?

And should I let my children know about my money worries/problems?

Start talking to them about money from the moment they can recognise numbers and do simple arithmetic :) Wouldn't suggest putting money worries and problems onto children but I think they should appreciate the concept of affordability, budgeting, making choices etc. If money's tight I think it helps if they know in advance so that they don't ask for expensive stuff.

Remember having all my savings in Icesave when that went bust. DS was 8yo at the time, I told him that we had to conserve cash until the compensation came through and he got quite enthusiastic about thinking of fun stuff we could do for free. Bless.. :)

I think from quite young they can understand that things cost money, and that when you have spent it all there won't be any more until next week. That's one of the reasons for giving them pocket money!

As to money worries - I don't think it's fair to make children worry about whether they are going to be made homeless, or whether there will be a meal on the table tonight. But they can certainly know that you are not going to buy such-and-such luxury because you can't afford it.

I started with my DS when he started school and started understanding money. He doesn't have to shoulder money worries but I do tell him we have this and that coming up which all costs money so we won't be spending lots of money. I tell him I don't buy things as they are too expensive. I have explained how many ice creams you can get from supermarket in comparison to Ice cream van.

DD is 2.9 and she knows that we go to work so that we can get pennies. Pennies go into the bank and help pay for food toys and clothes. She knows we have to give money to the staff in the shop to buy the stuff we collect in there.

She doesnt know the difference between values of coins etc, just that money pays for stuff. And she accepts that if I say "no I dont have any money" then she cant have what she is askin for.

Not sure if thats enough kowledge for her age but it seems to make sense to her.

I don't think it's fair to ruin childhood by putting adult money worries on children. It's enough for them to know you can afford x but not z.

DS knows a little but I will explain more as he goes through secondary including giving him his child benefit so he learns to budget before college and uni.

He knows work equal a salary that buys food, housing and nice things. A work ethic is more important to instal early I think.

Thank you for all your comments x

DH and I are both self employed.
Some months we are flush, other months we are broke.
Its much fairer to be honest with your kids than to have to disappoint them.

AND
having been on several debt threads, parents who are honest with their children about their ability to pay for stuff are more honest with themselves

I think it depends on how old the children are as to how much they need to know. I have always let mine pay for things in shops, so they knew from a very young age that you hand money over, get change, check it etc. My dad gives them pocket money each week and on a Friday they are allowed to take £1 to the corner shop to buy 'something you know you're allowed' ie not complete crap! My youngest is 6 and he can add up as he goes and always tries to work out his change before it flashes up on the till! You'd be surprised how many year 2 children don't even know the value of each coin, let alone have experience of handling real money.

When DH was made redundant without warning last year we didn't tell the kids to start with, but after a couple of months we did. I had to go back to work but to cut a long story short, I'm a TA and DH was in a global scientific sales field so I earn buttons compared to his earning potential. We have tried to keep life for the children as normal as possible, but they know money is tight and they're not to ask for 'stuff'. We have chosen to ensure they can still do their activities like swimming and brownies and so on, but all the extras like cinema, eating out and so on have stopped unless we have free tickets etc. we've tried not to worry them as that's not fair, but we've told them when we can't afford something, and they've been very respectful of that. They are 11, 9 and 6. Had they been younger we would have told them less to suit their age.

They all have a savings account for birthday/Xmas money and can use their money to buy whatever they like (within reason) but I have told them they have to leave £100 in the account , to try and encourage them to save, land start the idea of a savings pot which isn't touched.

They don't know about the child trust funds as we've never added to them, but I'm thinking that as DH gets a job (he's been out of work for 14 months now) and we have paid off the debt which is now building, that I might start adding to these do they have something as they get to 18. Not a fortune, but enough say for driving lessons or to build on for a house deposit. But I might change my mind by then!!!

I don't think they should be burdened with the serious stuff, but it is never too early to learn to prioritise. Understanding that food, house, bills, essential clothes etc need to be paid for before pointless tat is an invaluable life lesson.

as is learning to have fun for free. Parks, gardens, libraries etc.

I have a mantra with my children that they have all learnt: "spend some, save some, give some away."

They have to spend their pocket-money if they want things like sweets or games; they have savings accounts; and they contribute each month (by choice) to a charity direct debit that we set up (in this case for WWF, three pounds per month and they get news of the animal they have adopted).

Ds1 (12) is probably getting to the age when I should teach him about budgeting and investing...

Oh, and I agree that children should not be burdened with details of their parents' finances, beyond vague indications that we can't afford something at the moment, or that we're saving for something.

As others have said - realising that money is a finite resource, that you have to save for what you want, that you make choices between things. When dc are older, I will teach them about budgeting, interest rates (including compound interest eventually!).

The other thing I talk to them about now (dc are 4 and 7) is about advertising - how companies try to make you want their products when you don't need them, how the toys in TV are usually not as good as they appear in the adverts, and how the companies are trying to get their money. They need to be savvy consumers. And that you can have as much fun with things that are cheap, you don't need to spend money to enjoy yourself, to feel good about yourself etc.

children should not be burdened with details of their parents' finances
Why?
Kids need to realise from as early as possible what can and cannot be.
Only a fool lies to their kids

I don't think they need all the detail (they have homework to do and trees to climb!) - but the stuff Aalya talks about is very wise. They need to learn that prudent people plan and save and that waste is bad.

DH and I have been self employed since the kids were an idea
to lie to them about what we can do would feel like a betrayal

only twits say yes to kids for things they cannot afford today.

talkinpeace it really depends whether you have a child that would give themselves an ulcer worrying about the £2 school contribution for something. Yes to being honest, but giving them a burden where they have no control over a situation isn't fair.

timefora
how on earth would one create a child with ulcers?

the point of financial information is that it is two way and open
my kids know when not to ask
hence no stress
hence no ulcers

ulcers in a child (as its actually a virus) are cause for concern way above credit card bills

1. ffs its a figure of speech - but children can and do worry and feel incredibly anxious - I remember dreading telling my mum it was 20p for non uniform day, knowing full well when child benefit day was.
2. clearly you've not had the same upbringing as my husband who was accutely aware of the family financial situation, so never told his mum his shoes were two sizes too small or with holes worn through at the bottom.

So don't you dare fucking try to tell me that being 'honest' in any way benefits a child when the adult in question is the one with all the cards in their hand and in control, you'll find many who will use it as another way to beat a child over the head about how they are a burden.

Timeforabiscuit
but there are charities all over the country with the remit of making the difference
they often struggle to fine recipients
and if you ask you will find
there is, genuinely, no need to make kids suffer
but then one has to be honest a bout where the money is from

why is that a source of stress?

parents who are honest with their children about their ability to pay for stuff are more honest with themselves

I think thats a really good point.