How would you work out this 3 family holiday food spend?

[mervynmouse]

3 families on holiday together splitting food bill. The families (all related if that makes a difference to how it's approached) are made up as follows:

Family A are 2 adults with a 5 year old child.

Family B are 2 adults with a 20 month old child.

Family C is 1 adult with a 10 year old child.

Alcohol is being worked out separately as not everyone is drinking.

The food bill is currently being split 3 ways between each family.

Is the most fair way of doing things and if not what is?

I suspect family C may feel they should contribute less than B or C but for ease 1/3 each would be ok.

I would split it into fifths. Each adult pays a 1/5 therefore family c won't feel as if they are losing out. ?

I'd say a three way split would be fair.

A 10 year old eats adult portions, and splitting it any other way seems petty.

I would say that's a reasonable split.

Family C will eat roughly the same as 2 adults.

Families A & B will both use slightly more in total, but only slightly. I don't think it would warrant a split into 8 ways, and each paying whatever number of 8ths, as the 2 smaller children won't eat as much as an adult.

And that assumes that no person or family is seeking special foods or particular items that radically increase the overall cost, I'd expect those to be paid for separately. But if all are generally agreed on the list, then I think a 3 way split is easiest and fairest.

(Although I am not taking anything like earning power or spending power into account either - if there are 2 earners or a high earner in any family that wants to part subsidise the other 2 families (or indeed, 2 families part subsidizing the 3rd) - that is a separate matter. I'd only look at part subsidizing in any event, and probably trying to not let any who are being subsidized know the final bill, only what I was looking for from them as their "fair share" of the total).

Or you could treat the 2 smaller DCs as 1 adult equivalent, split the bill into 7 "adults", and then:

Family A pays 2.5 7ths
Family B pays 2.5 7ths
Family C pays 2 7ths

But that is messy on maths, and I'd hope people would agree to split in 3.

It looks as if family A are getting the best deal.

It's tricky isn't it? As is probably evident, I am the adult in family C.

The problem is thst our income is considerably less than families A & B and I am used to cutting my cloth accordingly whereas they are in the habit of spending far more.

Obviously I would expect to spend more when away than at home and have taken this into account but it seems to be spiralling wildly.

I guess my next question is how can I articulate to the other families that I can't afford to be buying such large quantities of food with abandon as has been happening without sounding mean or petty?

I feel uncomfortable bringing it up at all as I really don't want to cause bad feeling. The other option I suppose would be buying and eating our own food which was mooted at the beginning but I think that would be difficult to administer with the kids and does seem petty...

Could you not each provide a meal for the others, that way you can purchase according to your budget ie . market fish, veg or a local mezze. Ideally this should have been resolved before you went.

Would it be reasonable to tell families A&B that you have X amount left to spend, on food AND outings (or just the food amount), so could they please take that into account when buying as you cannot afford to spend more than that. And that you'd be happy to suggest ideas to reduce the cost proportionately to come in to that (or at least near that) budget overall across the 3 families. (And be clear that you had been contributing up to now but weren't expecting it to be that expensive).

Or else suggest that you will have to otherwise go back to the original suggestion of buying individually, but you don't want to upset the dynamics or worry about what food is which family's.

It is tricky and unfair split for you. There's no way your 10 year old should be charged the same as adult and child which is effectively what is being asked of you.

With hindsight, yes it would have been a good idea to sort it out in advance. I really thought it would be fine though given the cheaper cost of food here and favourable exchange rate.

Thanks all for viewpoints and advice. I agree with stating what I have left to spend so its clear and having more input on what is bought, suggesting cheaper options etc. This will involve being more assertive with alpha female of the pack

it is almost never worth doing anything other than an even split - the difference is usually a pound or two.

but if you've got high-spenders sharing with budget holidaymakers it is never going to work, sadly. Tell them what your budget is NOW.

I'd just do an even split between the three families but then can't abide messing round and hate when people quibble over splitting a bill (unless drinkers vs non drinkers).

I would just divide by 3. A 10 year usually eats same amount as adult tbh, maybe more if extra snacks/ ice cream abroad

At 20 months mine mainly ate bits of our plates still and breastfed so wouldn't have really added more

Tbh though we always spend far more in holiday for food as it's holiday and a treat, so if you want smaller budget you need to have said before really

Do you mean eating out or grocery shopping? Can you not rough out a meal plan for the rest of the holiday and do a final shop? What 'extra' is being bought? Are you food shopping each day?

This is grocery shopping. Being done every day, sometimes twice a day.

As said by a pp it was never going to work with a group with such differing disposable incomes.

I probably could have helped myself by being clear from the outset though especially as I had a niggling fear this would happen.

Have explained my situation and hopefully it'll be ok.