Hi, I'm new to this but need some advice. I was in a relationship for 8 years with my ex, we have two children together,one 5 and the other 14 months. There has been domestic abuse in the relationship and police involved on a number of occasions. The house we lived in was in his name. He is an offshore worker and earns almost 2500 per week. Because of this I was not entitled to any benefits or tax credits, he also refused to help with nursery fees if I chose to work. I was given an allowance of 150 a week. From this i still had to pay gas electric food tv internet and utilities as such. At times he would be generous with money and buy things and tell me it was ok to go in town and use his card,rarely did I buy myself,always my children,sometimes I would go food shopping aswell. But after doing this he would say that I was spending too much and am rubbish with money and use this as further reason to keep paying an allowance.
My family and friends pointed out that this is abuse, that the money is family money and as I have no earnings I am paying a dispaportionate amount of money towards bills. They showed me on a website that if I were to go through the csa or CMA that I would receive double and obviously pointing out how much he was taking the p*
Anyway he doesn't admit that he is abusive,in fact he says I am for spending his money. He drives a brand new BMW,has a landrover and a golf. He buys all the most expensive things. When Christmas and birthdays come along ,I need to account for every penny spent. When I told him that I can't claim benefits,he said
I have left him. :)
I have my own house now just in the process of moving in, I don't have a lot of money, I am awaiting benefit payments to help me on my feet and am going to attend college in sept. I intend to apply for maintainance via CMA but trouble is he is classed as self employed! He uses an umbrella company to pay his wages and can use clever tricks to hide his income, I have read some horror stories about this. He also registers his cars in his grandparents names. My mum has done research on the matter and says I can get the court to apply for his bank statements. She has also told me that I can apply for compensation for having to leave the property for the millionth time,causing upset to my kids. I'm not being greedy,its just I know he wont agree to anything, I'm struggling as it is,it's been a hard few years and my kids deserve better and I think its about time he grew up and accept that as their dad he owes it to his kids a better life and trying to get at me by making things hard is hurting them also.
Any advice on the matter would be very appreciated