House/Financial advice needed from people been there, done that, got the hat.

[emma16]

Ill try and keep this as short as poss but we could do with some advice from people like my title says.
Hubby earns £65k a year, I earn £7k a year part time, we owe £74k on our mortgage but have £20k in our savings from a recent inheritance.
Hubbys only been earning this wage for thr last two years by the way, before that we were living on a tight budget as I didnt earn with staying at home to look after our kids...now aged 11 & 6.
We're facing the decision of should we move house or stay put, pay our mortgage off in the next 6 years and then potentially move to the bungalow we'd probs end up downsizing to, if we moved to the big detached house now?
Our house is a 3 bed terraced, 5mins walk from the junior school our youngest goes to, and the high school our eldest is about to start. Its on a main road which has always been a bit of a gripe in wanting to move, our eldest has a small box room and tbh we've always just wanted a little more space.
However, hubby has worked 12hr day & night shifts since 22, is now 38, and its a factor in not moving and staying put as he would be able to retire from full time work early and get a more steadier part time job during the week.

We dont have any other inheritance coming to us, perhaps £10-20k, at the most, so we do have to clear the bigger mortgage ourselves.

The one thing we've learnt from going back n forth in trying to decide whether to move is theres no such thing as a small upgrade. To make the move worthwhile and actually gain a decent amount of space we'd be looking at a house around £180k.

Now I know this will seem like nothing to others, considering what hubby earns..we do put £250 a month into his works share scheme and also another £250 a month into a pension as we're very aware you cant have too much saved up for retirement...but we've seen so many people upgrade to the big mortgage, regretted it due to then not having a life, not being able to financially help their kids start up, kids have stayed at home longer cos your providing the space, cleaning it, furnishing it, working longer to have to pay it off etc. So we're very torn between head and heart, taking responsibility for ourselves financially and not taking thebwrong step!!!
Which is where hindsight steps in, the gift I wish I had!
So thats why I was hoping there would be some people who have perhaps been there, done that and give mena little advice.

We're unfortunately very aware that life is for living and making memories as it can be took away from you too soon, and thats probably a big reason why we struggle to decide what to do.

What I meant about downsizing to a bungalow was, pay our mortgage off in the next 6 years and then give it another 5-8 years when hopefully eldest will have left, and then move to a bungalow perhaps.

Can I ask why were you going to move? Are you glad you didnt, or do you still have part of you that wishes you had? Theres a huge difference in being mortgage free in 6 years compared to 18...altho hubby says we'd probs be free earlier than then but that is what the mortgage would be over to begin with.

I think this is a very good question. We are in similar situation. We actually just moved. To a different area for schools. But instead of moving up we just took a sideways step. So mortgage paid off. And more money every month to enjoy life. I think it was the right move. But i do wonder if we should have bought a bit bigger sometimes. Its quite good from an investment poi t of view. A bigger house gains more as prices go up than a small one does.

I think unless you are really struggling for space may be better to stay where you are and just relax and enjoy your weekends more etc.

Garden space we struggle for, hubby does his nut trying to fit everything into tiny shed inc bikes..not that that qualifys a big upgrade lol. We've got two double bedrooms and then small box room which our 11 year old son sleeps in.
I think we wonder if we'll be ok as the kids grow into adults but then im of the opinion kids dont know any difference if this is all theyve ever had. I've always thought, and still do, why dont we parents put ourselves first and our financial future because for a period of time till eldest moves out it probs would be a squash and a squeeze...but then when he moves out there would only be our daughter left and space would be fine. When she moves out, perfectly fine for the 2 of us.

I just wonder whether we should do the opposite to what people expect us to do, and miss out that next step up to a detached family house, and just wait for the kids to fly the nest and move to a bungalow. Every large detached house we've viewed are doing exactly that, downsizing as kids have gone..it makes u wonder!!

Its agood way to look at it. I never thought of it like that. Important things to kids is to have own room - you got that. Be in good school - you got that. Friends who live locally - assume you got that. And parents with enough spare tine to see them and enough cash to not say no to every extra curricilar activity and new clothes.
That was my thinking. Otherwise i dont think much else matters to them. Do you have more than one bathroom?

I say that cos as a kid we lived in a poot catchment area and i never had ny own room. And we always fouggt over bathroom!

Hmm I'd consider thinking outside the box - a sideways move and then go up into the loft perhaps but larger garden and less road noise? Or perhaps a huge garden, add a sun room/orangrey as a reception room and someone have a downstairs bedroom type of thing.

We only have one bathroom, which could become 'interesting' in years to come! Theres no where another could be put in unfortunately. We have thought of losing the little box room for a staircase and go up into the loft but its not a big space and we're dubious if it would be worth it.

Hubbys not keen on doing big work on a house, he's done everything to where we are over the years and with his jib and working a fixed yearly rota with no bookable time off, building work would be a bit of a nightmare when he's on nights. If it cant be avoided then its a case of get on with it then, but ideally we'd prefer to.

I think what im interested in is views of people who did take on a bigger mortgage, had to work longer perhaps, did it seem or feel with it, would you have done it differently? And people who didnt do a big move and mortgage free at a relatively young age, how did that effect your every day thoughts, abilities etc?

I remember someone saying there is nothing like the feeling of knowing you own your own house, subconsciously it has a massive positive effect on your life and freedom of choice was amazing.

We upsized last year but to a house that was comfortably within our means. We had a small mortgage that we have now paid off. It is a great feeling to be mortgage free but there are still bills to be paid. My monthly council tax bill is almost the same as the monthly mortgage payment.

However, our house meets our space requirements. I think if you feel you need extra space, then look at extending or making the next move up the ladder. From experience, it can impact quality of life if you live in a house that is cramped for your requirements so if you can afford to extend/move, then I would be tempted to do that in your position.

We're about to upsize through relocating and still the increased council tax and heating bills concern me although our mortgage will be reduced!

I think I will have some of the dc at home throughout their Uni years but we will downsize again once we've got rid of a few so they can't come back

12 hour day and night shifts are an absolute killer. I don't just mean it is horrible and disrupts your social, personal and family life, it actually affects your physical and mental health and reduces your lifespan. So frankly I would deal with that before anything else.

Good point PigletJohn!

Have you thought about upsizing but keeping your mortgage short ie 10-15 years so that there is an end in sight. You could channel some of the pension money into it and perhaps take on more hours. You'd then end up with a bigger asset and more options when you downsize plus a more pleasant living environment in the interim.

And don't forget that kids leave home later these days so you might be needing more room for a while!

To be honest I would stay put probably only because I have children around the same age and there is no way that I want to be taking on a bigger mortgage at my stage of life latethirties

Like someone said upthread kids only know what they are used to so won't 'miss' a bigger bedroom or more garden space. It also sounds like you have the affordability to take them out and do things with them.

My job is mortgage advice and I always, always say to people that it is great having the house but not at the expense of your life and it becoming an expensive prison.

PigletJohn is also right 12 hour days (I was doing that until yesterday) are killers.

Your joint decision though.

What made you consider moving?

Preciousbane your home is probably quite similar to ours but a semi, ours also 1930's type, 5minute walk to both schools for the kids etc. Have u ever read the book 'A squash and a squeeze' by julia donaldson for kids? First time I read it to my daughter it reminded me very much of our home life lol!
Hubby has wanted to move for years, for more space, bigger shed, garage to put crap in, stroking his male ego of look at my bjg house etc that most men are like...me on the other hand was brought up by grandma and lived a very modest life, was taught to save up for what u want and to be happy with what you got. She said so many people make the mistake of always wanting more and bigger, they forget to just relax and appreciate what they have got. Ive always remembered that and try to keep it at the forefront of my mind daily.

There no denying we do need a little more space, its just whether that justifys that big kove, or is worth it?

Theres no way we could put mortgage term to 10-15 years in the new house, at £800 a month mortgage that was over 21 years I think & by outting it at half that, really would mean no life!

We cant take money out of the pension, we could stop the shares scheme but it wouldnt be our first choice. Its all choices isnt it really.
I would no problem work full time but our daughter is only 6 & 1/2 and by the time we paid for care for her in the morns and after school plus childcare during the hols, I dont think it would be worth it. My job is in school hours 4 days a week and we've kind of planned to keep it like that until she goes to high school. Our eldest is just going high school next month so I have to think of him too, cant just cut the aprin strings and leave him to fend for himself...I get home just as he's leaving school.

Pigletjohn you've obvs been there n done that with shifts!! It is something I factor in to it all because I see my husband at 38 after all these years of doing them and how tired he gets constantly switching his hody clock back n forth. The difference when he's on a spate of time off, is like a different man! If we stayed where we are and just accepted that, he would have the option in maybe late 40's early 50's to come off shift, lose that allowance, and change to a mon-fri job.

My thoughts have always been if we live in a small house and mortgage free we can help the kids with a big deposit on their first home, and they're more likely to save up and want to go so they have more space!! :) if we provide a bigger house, they're more likely to be at home longer because of the space, therefore meaning it takes us longer to downsize again?? Thats what a woman on sky news said the other day anyway and looked thoroughly miserable ;)

Thanks for this thread Emma. I dont think you have quite got the full variation in answers you were looki g for. But from a selfish point of view your thinking has definitely confirmed to me we have done the right thing not moving up. I know what you mean on the male ego. I think my dh has always wanted a big house to show off!

I just wanted to comment that we are in the throes of building work (loft and remodelling downstairs). We have a decent sized semi but DS2 is in the box room (both DSs are close to the teenage years), we had one loo and no shower. The house really worked for us when they were little but now we all want a bit more privacy. I always thought that a loft conversion would be a waste of money because the space gained would be minimal. I was wrong! Two of our neighbours have done similar projects in the last year and we managed to secure the same builder. The work is horrible at the moment as they are plastering but they should be finished in about 12 weeks total. We had a separate WC and they wound the stairs through there and managed to increase the size of the family bathroom to accommodate a full sized bath and the WC. We are going to have an en suite and there'll be 2 showers and 3 loos!

I live in the expensive SE and the building work will be about 55k (about 35k for the loft). Can you ask around for a reliable builder? They've seen it all, ours have come up with some really sensible suggestions.

If DH's shifts are a problem, then why don't you rent a small flat/house and bunk up for a while somewhere else while the work is being done? Although that might seem like money wasted - you might retain your sanity and you could also decorate before you moved back in. We are no where near as financially secure as you and I'd have loved to do that!

Blimey £55k is a lot, you could buy a 2bed terraced in our town for that! Our neighbours have gone up in their loft and we went round to have a look a few years back and unfortunately it made us realise that without taking the roof up and out, it wouldnt be worth it :( Plus it comes back to is it worth it on just a '3 bed mid terrace'.

Anothervisittothepark your right, these answers have been interesting to read but not exactly the advice/experience I was hoping for. Nonetheless its all helpful.
I think we'd be the same if we were a family of 3, altho the ego thing would still be there. I suppose it depends on how you grew up too, what size house you lived in etc.

I jointly own our family home with my partner but have another smaller house which is in negative equity. I rent out house no2 and rent does not fully cover mortgage. Can I go bankrupt on second home or would mortgage company seek the outstanding amount from second current family home? We cannot afford to put extra cash to second home each month as it is a financial drain? Any ideas would be appreciated.

Caroline. I am no expert but i think any debt collectors would look at your assests and review their worth. So cos you own a home already they would look to get some money from that somehow.
Could you remortgage your currwnt home to release a bit of equity. And use that mo ey to make up the shortfall when house no2 is sold? If you want to get rid of house no.2. Otherwise I think you'd need to continue what you are doing. Perhaps look for better mortgage deal on house no2 to reduce payments every month?

Caroline

to be blunt, you borrowed some money to make an investment. The investment has not been as profitable as you hoped. You ask if you can avoid repaying the money you owe.

The answer is, no. You own another house, and perhaps you have some income or some savings. So you have some assets and you have some debts.