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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

single unemployed & pregnant with baby No2 benefits question....

62 replies

BookMummy · 14/07/2014 11:37

My DD is 12 this year and I'm 4 months pregnant with baby No2. I became unemployed not long before finding out I was expecting. The father has run a mile making it very clear that although he has money he'll only be paying what ever CSA make him pay and even then he'll make it as difficult as possible. I had assumed (stupidly )that I would qualify for a Maternity Grant if I hadn't found work before the birth. Given the fact I have an operation next week and may be unable to work for a few weeks after that and the fact that the prospects of employing someone who will be taking a tone of Maternity leave at the end of the year isn't dreadfully appealing to employers I think it's unlikely I'll find a job It turns out that Maternity Grants are only paid for the first child or if all other children are over 16. Well given that DD is almost 12 and almost in secondary school I have non of her baby things and am only just getting by on what JSA and tax credits I get. Is there anything I can apply for to help with towards the costs of basic items like a cot, pram etc... or is my benefits likely to go up at all in the pregnancy? I'm terrified of how I'll afford even baby grows let alone other things without some sort of help. All advice would be welcome.

OP posts:
BookMummy · 14/07/2014 22:10

I just wanted to say thank you to every one for your kind words of support and wonderful advice. I have noted down all of your suggestions and advice and will sort through it all tomorrow after a good night sleep. I wanted to add also after the very good advice from MNHQ re not to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare. I really didn't want to seem like I was trying emotionally drain anyone, con, upset anyone or beg. I was genuinely shocked by how little is available to support all mothers in my situation and similar situations and wondered if there was something I was missing. I really find most of the advice on this site balanced and helpful and this was a matter I really needed help with. I also wanted to add re not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are. that most of what has happened in my life over the last few months isn't something I'm proud of or wish to share with everyone who knows me. I live in a small town and don't want everyone knowing what a mess things were and are. So instead of posting via my main MN account that I know where people I know will know my username etc.. when I posted this (probably one of the most painfully honest things I have ever posted online) I created a new Mumsnet account. Not to deceive anyone but more out of the interest of internet safety (if thats the right term to use) and privacy. I do apologise if I have upset or offended anyone. Again thank you.

OP posts:
SoonToBeSix · 14/07/2014 22:22

I don't think you have upset or offended anyone op , mumsnet mods always post the same post on similar threads.
I hope you get some help.

Spindelina · 15/07/2014 08:17

No, OP, you haven't upset or offended anyone. As Soon says, MNHQ have a standard thing they post on pretty much any thread where people offer material assistance to anyone, just to remind people to be sensible.

BlinkingHeck · 15/07/2014 09:28

You haven't upset anyone. X

BookMummy · 15/07/2014 19:17

Thank you everyone.

OP posts:
BethsBaba · 17/07/2014 22:00

This is dreadful. I hope it all works out for you.

Parsley1234 · 17/07/2014 22:06

Blinking heck and book mummy I'm in gloucestershire next to Wiltshire boyfriend in West Yorkshire happy to collect baby stuff and bring to you in wilts no problem atall. I'm there next Friday or weekend after and happy to help

trappedinsuburbia · 17/07/2014 22:15

Does your council have a discretionary housing payment department?
Mine does and they pay the shortfall between housing benefit and rent, worth calling them and asking.
Keep posting on freecycle, I gave away almost everything you could need for a baby when ds was 4 and 5 years later ended up in same situation as yourself !

iloveithere · 18/07/2014 10:35

With regards to secondary school uniform, try to talk to someone who has children there already, find out what they really need, not what the list says they need.

There will be things that are never used, so you can save money by not buying them.
I'm sure they can't really need 3 types of PE shoe, at least not all at once, perhaps for different sports played at different times of the year, but not all needed in September.

BethsBaba · 18/07/2014 11:17

Parsley1234 Oh my gosh thats very kind of you. Thank you.

iloveithere Annoyingly after asking DS's BFF's mum who had two at that school they do. They do indoor and outdoor PE all year round. So they need in the indoor shoes, trainers and ones for football and rugby etc... that both boys and girls do. Just don't want DS to be the only one without the basics. If they don't have the right things they can't take part. UG!

iloveithere · 18/07/2014 12:24

well, thats just silly (not you, the school)

Parsley1234 · 18/07/2014 14:25

No worries pm me to arrange it xx

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