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Original poster

anyone help me with court and contact order?????HELP ME!!

18 replies

babywhiting · 11/09/2006 09:48

Someone help i have to go to court as my ex wants contact order for our 2 kids he hasn't seen them or contacted them or even paid a penny for 7 months . i'm scared as i have to go to court alone as cant afford a solicitor any tips for me would be great or anyone i can talk to ?
citizens advice would not help me so where can i turn to?
please help

OP posts:
CarlyP · 11/09/2006 09:49

I can ask my DH for you as hes a Barristers Clerk and knows about this sort of stuff.....

Twinkie1 · 11/09/2006 09:51

Right first of all money and contact have nothing to do with each other - women have to get away from the fact that they think they do!!

You need to book 30 minute free appointment with a solicitor (most of them give you this free) and ask for a form when you do go to apply for legal aid.

You could if you are reasonable and willing draw up a schedule of arrangements (I think tht's what it is called) and organise contact without going to court - the court should be able to arrange mediation for you - mind you I think you do need a solicitor for mediation if its done at the court.

Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 09:53

any help appreciated!!!!!!!!!!

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Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 09:58

not entitled to legal aid already seen solicitor but cant afford £150 per hour.no money is not important but him not breaking the kids heart by letting them down is important.sorry if im stroppy but im so scared.

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cowmad · 11/09/2006 10:01

cant help but happy to bump this for you.Good luck. ps have you tried an archive search on this subject on mumsnet site?

CarlyP · 11/09/2006 10:07

my dh said get a solicitor on legal aid. not sure if cab wont help and you cant do that. sorry.

cx

VeniVidiVickiQV · 11/09/2006 10:08

Mumblechum (?) and MamaG are in this line of work I believe.....

Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 10:44

i live with my partner and we have been told we are not eligible for LA i think its so bad that his earnings come in to it when its so called not him thats going to court but me for my kids. does anyone know if theyre about today???

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Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 10:51

does anyone know if the court will take in to consideration that my 2 children also have a new baby brother here, ie being seperated from him alot.

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Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 11:37

bumping sorry but im desperate for help!!!

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Freckle · 11/09/2006 11:45

Had your ex previously requested any contact? Has there been any communication between you at all? What contact has he demanded? What are you prepared to agree to? How old are your children?

If he has not made any attempt to agree contact with you amicably, but has gone straight for a court application, the judge will not view that very favourably.

If he has requested contact and you have refused, what were your reasons for that and how did you communicate them to him?

Sorry for the questions, but it's hard to offer advice with few facts.

Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 11:50

HI freckle my chidren are 3 and 5 he saw them in feb of this year and then kept cancelling to see them with silly excuses such as it was snowing and he was taking his new family away for the weekend. i initially said to him unless you keep to arrangements then dont bother. he and his g/f sent me abusive texts and phone calls he knew i was moving away but i've never told him where as up till may when i moved he never wantedto know them he also has a son from a previous relationship he is 9 and he doesnt want to see his dad as his dad didnt bother with him either.

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Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 12:09

bump sorry

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Surfermum · 11/09/2006 12:51

Do you want him to see the children? How much contact is he asking for and do you think this is reasonable? You don't necessarily need to go to Court if you can agree contact arrangements between you.

mumblechum · 11/09/2006 13:41

Hi Babywhiting. I can only repeat what others have posted, particularly that if your ex has issued an appln. for a contact order without notice to you, he'll be at a bit of a disadvantage, as he should first have asked if you'd go to mediation (unless, of course, there's a big distance between you). When you go to court, assuming it's in the county court, you'll be seen in a private room with just the judge and your ex(&his lawyer) present, so it's not too scary. You need to explain to the judge that it's not that you don't want your ex to see the kids, but it's v. upsetting to have to see them being let down. Because the appointment will only be listed for about 20 mins, if the two of you haven't agreed something outside the courtroom, the judge will adjourn the application for about 10 weeks. That's purely because a CAFCASS officer (bit like a social worker) will have to meet everyone involved and file a report giving a recommendation as to whether and if so how much contact should happen. At the adjourned hearing, often the parties agree with the CAFCASS recommendation, so the hearing only lasts a few mins and consists mainly of the judge telling everyone to stick to the arrangements for the sake of the children. If, after that your ex stops seeing the kids again, you could (tho' prob. not worth the effort), apply to the court for an order banning the ex from seeing the kids again. i wouldn't recommend that route, tho, as children generally benefit from having some contact with the father even if it's not as regular as it should be (not my opinion, but result of umpteen studies on how divorce affects children in later life).

Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 14:28

wow you are great!!!!! mumblechum!
one thing that bothers me is something he does and my eldest has commented on it she is confused but do courts take things into consideration?

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mumblechum · 11/09/2006 14:33

Hi, just about to shoot off from work, so will be offline for the time being. Whatever it is, you can mention it to the Cafcass officer who'll ask your ex to comment. The Cafcass may not,however, mention it in her report if she doesn't think it relevant, but you can still mention it to the judge.

Original poster
babywhiting · 11/09/2006 14:36

cool thanks for helping

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