Should I offer to help our neighbours?

[AvaLou]

I know that our neighbours are having real money troubles, we have had bailiffs at our door asking for them and they often come over to ask to borrow a couple of pounds when their electricity meter has run out. We know them fairly well, and know some of the reasons they have gotten into this trouble, although I won't go into it here.
They have two school age children, and this morning she came round looking really upset and asked if they could borrow some milk, and bread and cheese to make the packed lunches.
I was considering offering to do an online shop for them, or to lend them some cash to keep them afloat until payday but I don't want to offend or embarrass them. They have no family to help them and I can't bear to think of them struggling.
DH suggested we drop an umarked envelope with a little money in through their door, do you think this may be a good idea?

Avalou, I have loads of girls' clothes age 5/6/7 that are just sitting here waiting to go in the recycling / to the charity shop. Please let me know if they would be any use.

People like you are so few and far between - it is so wonderful to hear someone talking like this; you realise how lucky you are, and "there but for the grace of God".

Sorry, don't think I'm making much sense, but you've really touched a nerve, I only hope I would show as much compassion as you in a similar situation.

Seriously, let me know about the clothes.

Yes, you are a lovely neighbour. I may also have some clothes dd has outgrown if they would like them. She's six now but wearing 7-8, so I may have some their dd could grow into if she's a more average size than my dd!!

Your kindness reminds me of a time when we didn't know where the next meal was coming from and the gas bill was overdue, blah blah blah.....and my brother sent me a cheque to cover the gas bill and a kind friend just slipped an envelope into my pocket. In it was enough money for a week's worth of food. I was overwhelmed by their kindness because at that time my parents were also in a position where they couldn't afford to help us out (which they normally would).
We are in a much better position now though and would like to think that we can now help out where we can when others are in need, just as the kindness was shown to us when we were at a low point.

I'm so sorry for your neighbours loss too. Very sad.

Avalou you sound absolutely lovely.

the clothes people have offered here, just say "A MATE OF MINE WAS GOING TO CHARITY SHOP THEM, SHE'S BEEN ASKING ME IF i KNOW ANYONE WHO WANTS THEM, DO YOU?"
opps sorry!

Avalou, what a nice neighbour you are.

I would take clothes round in a big black sack and say that your DC or your sisters DC or somebodys DD has outgrown them and can they use them as playclothes or something? I often pass down clothes to friends regardless of their money situation. I have a friend who lives in a huge house but has no cash (evil husband) and I often pass along clothes to her saying DD won't wear them or they don't fit etc without any mention of the fact that I know she can't buy any.

With the food too, the others have some great ideas. BOGOFs and saying that the children are refusing to eat them are great. How about leaving a big box on their doorstep with a note, so you don't fluster them?

Those poor people, it sounds like everything has gone wrong for them.

AvaLou I don't know you, but you sound like a truely wonderful person, friend and neighbour.
What a wonderful world we'd live in if everyone took the same outlook on life.
Have you thought about inviting them all round for a meal?
Bet they'd enjoy that.
They must be in such a state after losing their son.

I have loads of boys and girls clothes that i've sorted out over the holidays.

If they would like them, then they would be most welcome.

I also have school uniform as well. Ours is red and grey.
I do have some without our school logo on.

Do you still live in London?
If so what part?
I'll be near to north london in a few weeks time, and could drop clothes off.

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avalou, you are one of the worlds truely nice people. i commend what you are doing/trying to do. If i were ever in that position i really hope that someone could help me and similarly if someone i knew was in the position i would want to help. thank you for restoring my faith in human nature (it had nearly all vanished when i got on a bus with 2 yr old dd in arms and 6 month baby bump in belly and wasnt offered a seat the whole journey!) so thank you!

Thanks all for your advice. DH slipped an envelope through their door with some cash and electricity tokens in it last night. We added a short note as suggested.I haven't seen them since, but I do hope it has helped them and they are not embarrassed by it.
DH also had the wonderful suggestion that he buys me some spa vouchers, and I can invite her along for a treat, pretending that I won them and have no one else to come along. I think this will really cheer her up (and me!lol)

Stacey I know that feeling of just being ignored when pregnant and with a smll one, it makes me so angry that people can just pretend not to notice and really don't give a damn.

Thats really lovely AvaLou!

Actually made me a bit teary! (Am going to blame hormones for thoat though)

All of this is literally bringing tears to my eyes; because of that poor family, and because of your real concern for them AvaLou.

I have a dd of 7 and one of my dss is 11, so I could probably sort out some outgrown things to fit a 5yo girl and a 9 yo boy. I'm in North London; is that any use ?

I popped to the newsagents earlier and saw the lady from next door across the road and I'm not sure she noticed me or if she pretended not to. I know this week will be tough for her though and she may just not feel up to speaking to anyone, so maybe I'm reading too much into things.
I do hope we have done the right thing.

Thanks for the offer of clothes, I will guage how she feels about it when I see her and let you know. We are in South London, but could drive to collect things, or if it's a few bits I can paypal for the postage costs. Thanks for your genourosity.

You can let me know about the clothes; seriously, I've been sorting out piles of stuff for charity/eBay (4 kids=a clothes mountain !) and could easily post you some stuff:
grey school trousers x 2
Gap and Boden cords
a pair of Gap girls pedal pushers and a few girls'tops

We're comfortably off now but without going into too much detail I've been in financial straits before, so I'm happy to help if you say the word.