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Original poster

Long and complicated.......

9 replies

noddyholder · 27/08/2006 13:39

My ex and I split in 1991 I left our flat and gave him 2 weeks to leave (my parent flat)He left and took lots of personal bits of mine and subsequently used them to overdraw our joint account and several other cards etc.He ended up running up about 6k in debt which as he was untraceable was down to me.The bank and I never tracked him down.Years later he turned up on a reality tv show and I contacted the producers who let me communicate with him and he begged me to let him have his 5 mins and he would pay me back when he got out I stupidly agreed as he had a partner and small child by this time.Needless to say he didn't bother and i paid it all back and this prevented me getting a mortgage or credit for about 6/7 years.I now know hwere he is finally and could proceed to takem him to court as I have all the paperwork etc to do so but can I be bothered In total he owes me 9k because there were various charges added and although I would love to make him pay I kind of feel time has passed let it be.My RL friends are divided some think I should pursue it the more spiritual believe karma will deal with him.TBH my head is spinning with it all

OP posts:
Freckle · 27/08/2006 13:43

How about just writing to him and asking for his proposals to repay the money? That gives him the opportunity to do the decent thing and, if he doesn't, he can stew for a while wondering what you are going to do.

It's then up to you as to whether you take matters any further or just sit there feeling smug that you are the better person .

Original poster
noddyholder · 27/08/2006 13:56

I will write although he will probablt throw letter in teh bin!

OP posts:
Original poster
noddyholder · 27/08/2006 15:58

.

OP posts:
Kaz33 · 27/08/2006 16:45

Fifteen years later is a long time. He has a partner and child and probably doesn't have 9K lying around.

I think moving on is the way to go, you might be opening yourself to more disappointment and expense be re-opening old wounds.

Maybe write him a letter, say you owe me this money and this is where I am. If he has grown up then he might take some responsibility for his actions. Probably not, but stranger things have happended

Scoobydooooo · 27/08/2006 16:49

Hmm was his name on the debts? or was it all in your name?

Original poster
noddyholder · 27/08/2006 16:53

The debts were incurred by him but the accounts were joint.He took various items from our flat inc photos etc and he fraudulently obtained money with a girl claiming to be me amongst other things.I do think I have to wave the money goodbye in fact I never think about it until someone else mentions it.I have loads of letters etc from banks who were on my side and initially froze the interest while we tried to locate him.I too have a child and when I corresponded with him he knew that but still didn't pay.I have an address now as he has moved out of London to Nottingham but maybe too long ago

OP posts:
Scoobydooooo · 27/08/2006 16:56

It's up to you but personally i don't see why you should drop it, as you say you have a child is well & you have had to pay all this back on your own so why should he get away with this scot free? I know he has another life now & a child but maybe he should have stood up to this debt in the first place & paid it off with you instead of you doing it on your own.

I think i would pursue it but thats my opinion

Original poster
noddyholder · 27/08/2006 16:57

He also spent the m oney living the high life silly arse

OP posts:
Scoobydooooo · 27/08/2006 17:01

I have a sort of same situation but mine is my own fault, when i was 18 i got a loan out & xdp spent most of it on things like a car, living the high life & buying top of the range shoes, jeans etc, then we had a very bad split & i never wanted to see him again, (he moved away) thank god, but i am left with the loan to pay & am still paying it now6 years on

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