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Joint bank account v separate?

20 replies

Beckyd2212 · 06/04/2014 16:44

My other half and I have just started trying for a baby. We currently have our own accounts and pay a set amount each into a joint for bills, mortgage etc. just wondering how other people out there work out their finances once they have a little one? I make about £4k more than him a year....

OP posts:
SoonToBeSix · 06/04/2014 16:48

Joint , you will be a family everything should be equal.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/04/2014 17:41

I would say keep it exactly as you have it. Adjust if your earnings or household costs go up or down and, even if you opt to stay home rather than carry on working, never relinquish your personal account. Love's love & family's family but money's money.... and it is unwise to be 100% reliant on anyone.

onedev · 06/04/2014 17:50

Completely agree with Cogito - we've been married over 10 yrs & living together for 15 with 3 children & have always done it your way. We just make sure that we put enough into the joint account to cover joint spending / spending on children etc & adjust this accordingly as required.

fisherpricephone · 06/04/2014 17:58

Keep doing what you do now. We both pay into the joint account which covers utilities, food, childcare but have our own accounts for our individual expenses and our own savings accounts. Joint account with everything in it are for days when women weren't allowed to have bank accounts.

Applefallingfromthetree2 · 06/04/2014 18:08

For those who do not have their own accounts, what happens about holidays and big purchases such as family cars, furniture, new washing machines etc also occasional spending on garden plants, decorating materials etc. Does this all come out of the joint account. Who decides what the money is spent on?

I agree with soon, a family needs to trust one another.

AnythingNotEverything · 06/04/2014 18:10

It depends entirely on your attitudes to money.

Do you have "your saraly" and "his salary"?

How do you pay for big ticket items? How do you pay for shared items - new bookcases, stuff for the baby etc?

We throw all our money into one big pot and transfer out £200 each to pay for personal stuff - hair it's, gifts for each other, treats like coffee when out ... It's nice to have some privacy but we have very similar attitudes to money, and we trust each other.

AnythingNotEverything · 06/04/2014 18:11

Also, think about what will happen when you're on maternity leave. Your income will drop. Will he pick up the slack?

Mitchell2 · 06/04/2014 18:21

We have separate accounts but it's all joint money. Savings are split for tax reasons, and all bills come out of an account in DH's name. We don't earn the same (earn a lot more than him), but at each pay day we both get the same 'spending' money the rest goes into pays bill, saving etc. credit card is in my name and I just pay it off every month.

Big purchases come out of 'our' savings - we just take out of what account is easiest. Pretty much anything over a few hundred quid will be discussed, but generally just to make sure it's budgeted for. If it's a really big purchase we will decide together if it's do-able.

I am a bit anal and keep detailed spreadsheets of everything, and we both know each other's Internet banking details. Totally transparent, and we both have similar outlook on spending / saving so it works well for us.

My last husband we had separate everything and just paid 50/50. We had totally different money priorities and this was something that contributed to it not working out.

Beckyd2212 · 06/04/2014 19:09

Thanks for the feedback everyone- it's great to get some alternate views. I'm quite open to everything going into one pot but I guess my biggest issue is that my partner struggles on his salary, yet he's paying for his mums loan at £124 a month (caused a lot of arguments over the years). If we put all our money in one pot I'm going to end up paying for it, which I resent. That's money we could put away for a rainy day

OP posts:
Sleepyhoglet · 06/04/2014 22:59

We do the same as you but now I am pregnant dh is going to get an extra card for his credit card for me to use and turn his main account into a joint account so I can use it. He is really chilled and if was just a so what shall we do jn November when dc comes along chat. We've paid off the mortgage do only bills and car insurance to worry about as he pays for the food shop anyway.

Sleepyhoglet · 06/04/2014 23:00

Becky- you will be on mat leave so will surely have less money do won't pay for his mums loan.

MsHighwater · 06/04/2014 23:05

We have joint everything and can't imagine any other way BUT we have complementary attitudes to money, trust one another completely and neither of us has any separate debt. I suggest you discuss his mum's loan before your ttc efforts succeed to make sure you both know, and are happy with, what will change when you have a child.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/04/2014 08:49

If your partner shows so much as a hint of being poor with money.... and if you've had a lot of arguments in the past over a loan taken out for another person his judgement is clearly not all it could be ... then keep your own account at all costs. Operate a full open-book approach to family finances generally, obviously discuss long-term plans & big-ticket purchases, make sure the household expenses are fully and fairly covered (proportionally etc) and that access to any rainy-day savings is on a joint signature basis.

People will say 'but what about trust?' but I think that, if you have a structure and a few sensible control measures, it's far easier to trust. :) Love's love but money's money.

callamia · 07/04/2014 09:20

We are married and have a child, but have separate accounts. We each take responsibility for some bills and he pays me his share of the rent (a hangover from when we started renting and he was still studying).

I earn more than my husband, so I pay more of the bills. We both pay for other bits of shopping/going out etc, I don't think either of us keep count, or have a problem with it.

We have separate savings too, but these are used to pay for joint things; they will cover his extended paternity leave, eventual house deposit. I guess this way we get to maintain independence, but both contribute in a proportionately appropriate way.

Nomama · 07/04/2014 13:07

We have a joint account for bills and separate accounts for everyday spending.

I have 3rd party mandate on his accounts and he wouldn't have a clue how to access his accounts without me handing him the instructions.

We have separate accounts because he works away and often spends a lot of money that he then claims back as expenses. Before we split them we used the same account and it go a bit complicated to gauge how much money was needed to make sure he never ran out, which could leave him stranded.

So now I put X from my salary into the bills account, on Standing Order so I can't forget. Then, from his salary, I make sure our accounts are both topped up to a set amount and on the 1st of every month I whack whatever is over and above into savings. We both have credit cards, so if there is anything odd we use them and I make a note to pay them off before saving anything.

And I save every spare pound... if it wasn't spent it goes into a savings account. I save equal amounts in his and hers savings. Equitable for us and the tax man.

It took me years to get to here, but splitting the accounts like this gave us both a really clear idea of what was being spent where. We have both earned more and less than the other. He has been made redundant a few times (weird industry) and we both shop for food, etc.

But we have friends who keep their finances totally separate. They pay into a bills account and whatever they have left is their own to spend. I don't know why or how that works, but each to their own.

PervyMuskrat · 07/04/2014 18:52

We pay 50/50 into a joint account to cover bills, childcare etc and top it up for big one off expenditure (insurance, holiday, car service etc) and then the rest is ours to do as we please.

Worked when I was earning more than DH and still works now he earns more than me. It's meant that I can make choices to suit my own career (e.g. going part time or taking on more/less responsibility as it suits me) so long as I earn enough to cover my share of the bills. We are lucky though in that we could probably survive on one wage (if we cut back on certain areas) and both tend to have the same attitude to money and savings in general.

Beckyd2212 · 07/04/2014 18:58

Thank you to everyone that's commented, really has helped us to think things through. Now just to wait for the BFP!

OP posts:
JaneinReading · 07/04/2014 20:54

Given what Becky says I don't think she should have joint accounts. We did but we had very similar spending (very careful with money) and aims and to start with earned the same - and then I eventually earned 10x more than he did. For us it was no problem with everything being joint. That is not the case for everyone. Don't give up full time work though would be my best advice to a potentially pregnant woman and go back quickly.

Fluffycloudland77 · 07/04/2014 22:45

We have seperate accounts plus a joint for the mortgage & council tax.

He took a loan out for his mum Shock

Nomama · 08/04/2014 14:59

Not sure why taking a loan out for his mum is causing so many heebies. We have no idea why and it might have been very urgent. In which case he is doing a nice thing and Becky is just (reasonably) upset that it impinges on their families finances.

Becky, if you are sharing your life then yes, you may have to pay off his mum's loan. In a way you already are as that portion of his earnings are not coming in to your family and your earnings are covering any gap. It might be possible for you to pay it off and get rid of it, so it will no longer cause you any arguments.

That may sound odd but, just as any assets that are brought into a marriage become joint, so do they debts. It is hard to get your head round but that debt is, in effect, yours, regardless of where the money went.

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