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Original poster

joint mortgage - one poor and one excellent

76 replies

BlueFrenchHorn · 03/04/2014 18:29

Dh and I wanted to get a mortgage to buy a bigger house.

We had an offer on our flat, and will make 90k profit.

Both of us earn decent salaries, dh is higher.

We've just found out that dh's credit score is 665 (poor) and mine is excellent (999).

Is there anyway we could get a mortgage?

If not how can we improve his score and how long will this take?

We're so incredibly gutted.

OP posts:
MrsBrianODriscoll · 04/04/2014 08:01

I would kill him, he sounds like a child.

MrsBrianODriscoll · 04/04/2014 08:01

Is he even suitably contrite.

LIZS · 04/04/2014 08:03

doesn't it depend how much you want to borrow . Could you use some of the equity to pay off debts ?

KirstyJC · 04/04/2014 08:04

I would be very wary about getting into more debt with a person who cannot control his spending, takes out more debt and doesn't tell you and expects you to be the one who sorts it all out.

If he got a cc without you knowing now, what will he do in the future? Get another loan? Another cc?

I would stay put and not buy anything more with him. Or worse case, sell and rent for a while. But keep a close eye on the bank account if you put 89k into it.....

penguinplease · 04/04/2014 08:05

You can 'fix' the credit rating by paying it off in full and then using the card for very small purchases for a few months and paying it off in full.
I managed to go from poor to good in 3 months doing that.
It's do able.

LineRunner · 04/04/2014 08:05

It sounds like he's already running up debt 'set off' in his head against your equity.

This is a really difficult mindset to live with. What indications has he given about what he is willing to do about his problem?

I do sympathise. I've been with someone like this myself.

tribpot · 04/04/2014 08:13

I agree with LineRunner. It might be better off not 'solving' the problem with the equity since it reinforces the belief that somehow the house will be the gift that keeps on giving.

I would try to avoid dragging your mum into it as well, since it seems like she's already bailed you out once already.

I'd lock the 90K away for three years and give him that time to pay off his debt and demonstrate some financial responsibility.

Original poster
BlueFrenchHorn · 04/04/2014 11:05

Hi, we've decided to pull out of the sale our tge flat and work on improving his credit score. Hopefully in a year's time we can then get this to the point of being approved a mortgage by a high street lender.

We're hoping the property will increase in a year and if it doesn't then hope it doesn't decrease by too much. The property is in a desirable zone 2 area of London with lots of building and improvement works going on.

what's everyone's thoughts on this? Does this sound sensible?

I don't want to sell now and lock that money away because if house prices go up we'll be out priced of the market and unable to get back on.

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SolomanDaisy · 04/04/2014 11:12

It sounds sensible, but I think you would be mad to trust your DH. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being his mother, checking experian weekly to make sure he hasn't taken out another credit card you don't know about? Has he given you any explanation for what he's done? Is he even sorry?

Viviennemary · 04/04/2014 11:19

It is really disappointing for you. But on the other hand maybe waiting a year or two and getting the debt paid off would be a good thing. In any case this housing bubble is a bit fragile. IMHO.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 04/04/2014 11:21

Jesus.

I'm sorry but I think I'd be making putting property in your name only a condition of staying in the marriage.

Look at the mess he's got you into when you're essentially all fine and a happy couple and planning for the future.

Can you imagine how incredibly vulnerable you would become if he, at any point, STOPPED feeling like a team, and stooped even trying? He'd be taking out secured loans and forging your signature right left and centre. No, don't immediately think 'But he wouldn't do that!' - in certain circumstances, he WOULD.

He is a loose cannon who could see you lose your home entirely, not just have to put off selling a few months.

If you stay with him, protect yourself and your children for goodness sake.

tribpot · 04/04/2014 15:55

How will he (and it is his responsibility) (a) pay off his card and (b) demonstrate some financial good sense over the course of the coming year?

nkf · 04/04/2014 16:07

People can change their spending habits if they want to. No need to write him off. But the decision to postpone any major purchases is a good one. Good luck.

Original poster
BlueFrenchHorn · 05/04/2014 08:46

I've taken over completely. He now has no financial responsibly and I put a note on mortgage system that we need both signatures to do anything.

He has been very depressed about this and has realised he's ruined or at least set back the family dream. We certainly get as much money as we've got for the flat as we will next year and will be another year worse off - estate agent fees to find tenants etc.

We have submitted one AIP to Aldermore through a broker - has anyone had any good experiences with them?

It's very much long shot, but the broker has worked out that we could put a 20% cash deposit on a property for £350k, and althought the interest is high 4.5%, it's lower than our current mortgage, the repayments are £100 less than our current rent and because we're both early thirties and would be a 30 year mortgage, we could remortgage again in 2 years, once the fixed term has ended and got husbands credit score up / back in positive history.

Do you think there is a shot in hell that the lender will approve?

Also, if they do approve the AIP, is that almost a guarantee that they will approve the actual mortgage?

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueFrenchHorn · 05/04/2014 08:47

I wake up everyday - largely from a night of not sleeping much - sad, a anxious, worried, upset and generally feeling like I've failed my kids.

I find it hard to even look at husband at times.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueFrenchHorn · 05/04/2014 08:49

Sorry should read "we certainly won't get as much for the flat next year"

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueFrenchHorn · 05/04/2014 08:54

tripot I'm dealing with his card. His account is closed and because of his poor history will be unable to get a new cc.

I will use his salary to pay off £500 a month. Plus we have now reduced our childcare from FT to 3 days a week, my mum will look after the children for 2 days a week for the next year, so whatever we save on childcare will go on his card as well.

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/04/2014 09:01

I guess that is a start but it won't teach him personal responsibility to prevent it happening again longer term. What has he been spending the money on and does he understand that it is no longer an option?

nkf · 05/04/2014 09:19

It's you and your mum sorting it out isn't it? Is 4.5% a good rate with a 20% deposit? I don't know. I'd allow some breathing space. See how long t takes to clear the debt. £500 a month to clear debts, £500 to save once the debt is clear. You could be in a very different place in a year's time.

lougle · 05/04/2014 09:32

This is fundamentally a huge problem, not because of the debts, or the mortgage, but because your DH hasn't come to realise that he's in big trouble mentally.

When we were younger, DH and I were in a cycle of 'consolidation' with the bank. We'd consolidate, they said 'add a bit more for contingencies...', but because we hadn't addressed the fundamental issue (living beyond your means) we would be back a year later for further 'consolidation'. We had a dramatic change in circumstance and ended up filing bankruptcy. While it was horrible (rightly), it drew a line in the sand. DH realised that he could not have credit to meet the gap.

I wonder now just what we were thinking. It's been seven years since we've filed and apart from a planned debt (arranging to pay a garage bill over 3 months before booking the work in for a clutch replacement) and credit agreements for car and home insurances, we have never gone even a penny into debt with anyone.

Our mindset has shifted. If we want something, we save for it. If we can't afford what we want and we need something sooner than we can save, we adjust what we want.

That's the challenge here - your DH has to change his mindset to see credit as the awful thing it is.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 05/04/2014 11:45

Blue

Although I agree that you need to take control you need to make sure that this isn't too easy for him. He needs to feel Every Single Penny of that £5600.

Having your mum do childcare for you is easy for him.

Could you maybe cut all grocery treats out of your budget - so no alcohol, biscuits for adults, nasty cheap toiletries etc?

tribpot · 05/04/2014 12:03

I understand that there is a problem, it's affecting you, and you have the means to sort it. All of which leads you to the conclusion that you should sort it, take even more control of the finances, and lower your stress levels.

But the problem is not the credit card balance. The problem is the mindset that allowed it to happen in the first place. And you aren't solving that problem; you can't solve it. So he won't be able to get another card - hello payday loans. Someone will always lend money to someone with an income and no control over their spending.

If you enable him out of this low, the next one will be lower. And so on down the spiral.

Original poster
BlueFrenchHorn · 05/04/2014 16:08

It gets worse the cc is £6221. It's interest upon interest. Missed payment after missed payment.

I already live the cheap lifestyle. No treats I haven't bought new clothes not even asda etc for 2 years, no make up, I cook, no social life.

I'm devastated because I've scrimped and scrimped and live like I'm on the breadline and yet I'm still being punished.

He says he's sorry and that it's a wake up call.

I've cried all day.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 05/04/2014 16:23

What did he spend the money on?

tribpot · 05/04/2014 16:28

You bailed him out when this happened: 6 years ago he got us into £6k worth of arrears on our mortgage, despite me always paying my half to him on time.

And now you're proposing to bail him out again.

I wonder if this is the extent of his debt. He seems to be drip-feeding the info, perhaps in the hope of getting you to accept each amount before the next one becomes known.

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