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Original poster

WILLS

16 replies

StinkyPete · 09/08/2006 22:57

dh and i are considering writing a will, and stipulating who we would want to take our los in the event of both of our deaths.
in this situation - would you ask the couple you are putting forward their permission first? our alternate idea is to put a list of couples to be approached in a given order (so as to allow people to decline)
tia

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Pisces · 09/08/2006 23:00

What is "los"?

Freckle · 09/08/2006 23:11

I would definitely sound out any potential guardians in advance. After all, they might find it very difficult to decline after the event, as it were.

Original poster
StinkyPete · 09/08/2006 23:13

'little ones'

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KarlMarxMilge · 09/08/2006 23:16

I would do both, put a list of people in your letter of wishes, but once they had been approached and given time to decline. Your guardianship wishes are not legally binding anyway.

Pisces · 09/08/2006 23:50

Thank you! In our case, we approached the people we wanted as guardians first. They said yes straightaway but we told them to think about it and to discuss it and if they still felt the same way in a month's time, we would put them in. They did!

Original poster
StinkyPete · 10/08/2006 08:40

thanks ladies, any more??

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throckenholt · 10/08/2006 08:43

we came up with 2 options and asked both if they were ok with it (one was my brother, the other DH's cousin) - both said yes. Incidentally the solicitor thought unusual to stipulate a backup gaurdian in case the first option could not do it. We thought it better to have the option - so that if it ever happened it might help to make things easier.

blueshoes · 10/08/2006 09:18

It is good practice to sound your guardians out in advance. But as KMM says, even if you put them in the will, they are not legally obliged to take up the role should the unthinkable happen. But my lawyer said that in her experience, should such a tragedy happen, usually the guardians are more than happy to step in.

Dh and I only put one set of guardians in our wills, but put in a cash bequest to them to thank them, should they agree to act.

mygirllolipop · 10/08/2006 09:26

Message withdrawn

Original poster
StinkyPete · 10/08/2006 10:06

thanks again. i do agree that it's best to ask/ discuss with the couple first. particularly as they're not family and might be surprised. i want to avoid there being any confusion within family as there are sis n bro who might think they'd have them, but not even over my dead body as it were!!

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Original poster
StinkyPete · 10/08/2006 14:10

bump

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Original poster
StinkyPete · 10/08/2006 20:59

anyone??

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softmusk · 12/08/2006 12:04

is it possible to but in a will who we def dont want looking after the children as me and dp really dont want his parents getting there hands on our kids if some thing should happen to us

Original poster
StinkyPete · 13/08/2006 21:12

softmusk- now there's a good idea. i hadn't thought of doing it that way round. surely it must be possible, anyone???

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softmusk · 14/08/2006 11:15

anyone

Original poster
StinkyPete · 14/08/2006 12:32

obviously not a big issue for others, softmusk. i like your idea and surely in your will you can stipulate whatever you want. only trouble for us is we'd want to stipulate my bro and dh's sis (as not getting los), in other words our only immediate family . we do have a list of v close friends whose parenting styles we do like adn whom we would be happy to have them. omg what a dilemma.
are you thinking of writing a will anytime soon?
stinky

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