What is it like to be rich?

[YoureInMySystemBaby]

I just genuinely wondered... What is it like not to have to think twice about running your heating in case your direct debit shoots up by £100 in the next quarter, or seeing something you like and buying it without a second thought?

I apologise in advance if anyone is offended or thinks it's a bad taste question etc.. I just genuinely wonder...

I'm always of the frame of mind 'skint but happy' - and I do genuinely believe that - but I still can't help wondering lol. Both myself and my partner are, realistically, never destined to be rich - that's just a fact of our chosen professions, there's a ceiling limit on the top wage we could ever hope to achieve..

But there are times where I dream... like now. I applied for my son to attend the local independent school, he passed the exam with flying colours and we attended an interview today HOWEVER, even if he gets offered a place, we could only send him if we are lucky enough to receive some assistance in the form of a bursary, and that's not guaranteed to be offered even though we have been assessed and meet the criteria... Just feel somewhat helpless!

It's times like this when I just can't help but feel a little envious of others where this would not be an issue and I could be content knowing that I was able to afford my child the gift of a quality education and a range of experiences and opportunities (and please do not think I am bashing state schools, because I'm not, I've been very fortunate in the primary schools my children attend and I did very well myself at state school - but it doesn't change the fact the opportunities at independent schools are incomparable!)

sigh I know it's the way of the world though..

Precious that's a really interesting link

www.ifs.org.uk/wheredoyoufitin/

I put in my info and it turns out that we are better off than 26% of the population. Our budget is tight but I don't feel like I or the DCs miss out on anything. (Indie school was never going to possible on our incomes).

We eat well because I plan and shop carefully, the DCs do various activities, we have paid-for TV channels, pay into pensions etc. I can put the heating on, if I see a bargain (less than £20 or so) I can buy it.

I've been really well off in my life (income of 80k) and absolutely skint (homeless when parents went bankrupt and house reposessed). It doesn't make a lot of difference once you've got enough to put a roof over your head, feed yourself and your Dcs and keep warm and clothed. Its a bloody disgrace that some people are surviving on food banks and payday loans.

I'd say we are comfortable even with a mortgage, credit card to pay off, and threes DCs, living in the south east.

I have everthing I need and there's nothing that I want. (Don't mean that smugly...mean wealth is a state of mind once your basic needs are taken care of)

The thing is… once you are rich, you sort of end up having to spend more. Just on maintenance.

My previous boss, for example, spends £60k per year maintaining his garden. All DCs in top indies, etc. Let's say his household expenditure is probably close to £500k any given year.

He never thought he was 'rich' though.

You are asking the wrong person!

I was born into poverty. Dm was a young single parent and received no financial assistance from my df. We did not go without food but there was definitely lack. We went through periods of having very few clothes esp whilst as teenagers which was awful. I worked p/t from the age of 16 and continued to supplement my dm's low income for the next 10 years.

My time at university was great. I paid no fees, received a grant and had a pt job. I gave dm x amount for the month and the remainder was mine. I bought dresses to go clubbing for £50-60 and only wore them once or twice. I ate out a lot.

Fast forward 16 years and I spend no more than £30 on each item of clothing. We only eat out for celebrations, do not buy take aways/magazines/coffees/lunch out.

Our join salary is over £60k but we are in major debt (long story), negative equity and have no savings.

I think worry about money all the time and feel I deserve absolutely nothing no treats until debts are clear. My self esteem has hit an all time low.

I feel I have no choice and hate that I cannot treat myself to going to the hairdressers/getting nails done without reducing the food budget.

Being rich means you do not have to penny pinch and constantly look at your budget wondering where you can cut corners.

It is affecting my marriage

I am very rich, to the extent that I don't know just how rich I am. This is through wealth which will be inherited. The reason I don't know just how rich I am is because my parents have never told me. Had it been a smaller, more manageable number, we would have been told, probably.

Growing up we lived in a nice house, went to private schools, my parents had nice cars. We never had to worry about having enough money for food or heating or hot water. However, while my friends at school wore French Connection, I wore clothes from C&A. While my friend were bought Minis or MGs on their 16th birthdays, I was given driving lessons at 17 (because we lived in the sticks) and had joint use of a third hand VW Golf with my brother. Everything we had, we were taught to value and appreciate. My mother grew up dirt poor (think one egg between four children on a Sunday morning, lights on for an hour after dark etc), and ran the house.

As we got older, we were taught that with money comes responsibility. And as we got older still, we were taught that money is (a) the root of pretty much all evil and so must never be an end in itself (b) that we were more forunate than 99.9999999% of the world's population (c) that to abuse our wealth in any way is a pitiful, cruel disrespect to those who struggle.

Although I have always been taught to budget, save, and spend wisely, I have no idea what it is like to not have any money. I have never known what it is like to go without. You can reach your own conclusions about what this does for (a) your relationships with other people, specifically your spouse (and their family), once you've found one who doesn't want you for the lifestyle (b) how to raise children who are neither spoilt nor having to apologise for being born to me (c) how you decide on your values and principles (in terms of politics, for example) when you know that the vast majority of it simply does not apply to you (d) your credibility and relevance in the real world...the list goes on. There is no "woe is me" implied there, I'm answering the OP's question of what it is like.

Being rich has eliminated a life obstacle that most of the planet's population struggles to overcome all their lives, before they can get on with the task of progressing. But, this does not mean that there are no further obstacles left. Far from it, very very many new ones appear. To not fall at the first hurdle is an enormous advantage, of which I am always conscious. But that is it, really.

Sad, that's sad.
Mind you I am reasonably well off and only once had my nails done, before my daughter's wedding and loathed it and I dye my own hair at home. Sitting in the hairdressers and in nail bars is absolutely dreadful, a waste of time and money. I'd have to be paid before I'd be prepared to endure that theft of my time. Perhaps the answer then is just to turn things round in your head and look on the bright side.

(The interesting point re Apache is is SHE rich or is it just that she might potentially in future inherit money? There is a major difference in legal terms. It is also important to know in case divorce ever happened - if teh money is in her name her husband gets at least half of it. If virtually nothing is in her name it may be kept out of his clutches. If you might come into family money the family might turn against someone (I have often seen it happen) and ensure the money supply from the trust is cut off.

LauraBridges the issue you allude to in your second paragraph is one of the problems that would come under my (a).

I am firmly of the belief that the level beyond which money is more trouble than it's worth is actually surprisingly low.

We were 'comfortable' when I was in my last job. Then I lost that job and now my dad sometimes helps us to buy food for the week.

The sad part is when we were comfortable I was actually only on £1000 a month, DP £1100, so it was still a drop in the ocean compared to a lot of people.

I much preferred it then. These day I panic when the postman turns up.

The level beyond which money is more trouble than it's worth? I've never got to that point so I cannot say. I am happy to try it out though.... As I love things like tax rules and laws and money and using my calculator and that kind of thing I am probably not the sort of person who would find having a lot more too much of a problem. The hatred of all this stupid beauty stuff is just that I have lots of other things in my life I would prefer to do and am glad I never get nails done and things like that.

I suppose my point was more about CBT and thoughts - if you can turn your thoughts around so that things are positive then whatever your income level you can be happy. it's really simple although not everyone finds it easy to do and happiness is actually a lot more important than money and not linked to it.

Our income is a little over £70k a year. I think we are rich. We have mainly made sensible choices (thanks to DH!) so we haven't stretched to buy a house. We're not interested in independent schools or new cars or much in the way of clothes. We do like eating out and I think we spend a lot on food and drink. I feel rich because we don't have to worry if the washing machine breaks down or the car fails its MOT. There isn't anything I really want that I can't have. We are very lucky.

Apache I like your post.

I like Apache's post too. I was brought up relatively comfortably (parents were young and skint when I was born but Dad worked quickly up through the ranks and we were posted abroad for a while so a lot if our expenses were covered by the British Council for a time until he was fairly senior and earning a decent salary to afford stuff himself - mum always worked ad hoc around our needs too)

But they taught me to budget, taught me the value of money, the importance of passing some of your wealth on. I've been so so fortunate to have never struggled but have worked with people who have and consequently have always given at least 10% of whatever I'm earning to charity BUT I know I'm fortunate enough to do so.

It's relative to circumstances too though isn't it? When we first married for 4months I supported us on a £6.50/hour job in a shop until we both got "proper" jobs. We never felt skint even though we didn't have much - now we have substantially more money but our outgoings have increased too so some months were down to the last penny. BUT we're lucky to afford to rent a house big enough for us and guests (live abroad so I make DC share a room so we have a spare room for family), pay for part time childcare and lease a car.

I keep a tight food budget, DH and I rarely buy clothes and I save up to do a big clothes shop for DC in the sales, we babysit swap with other families and find ways to save. But then we don't think twice about buying coffee out and do get to eat out once of twice a month. We can't afford indie schools but do get to take little weekend breaks a few hours drive away a few times a year.

I feel rich in comparison to the vast majority of the world but live side by side with the seriously mega rich so that comparison makes me feel pretty average.

I'd probably qualify in your definition of 'rich'. Funny thing is, I feel poorer than when I was younger. I just have more responsibilities/outgoings these days. I've just paid off the mortgage but DS goes to private school so it's not like I can quit work yet and I need to bump up my pension payments. I'm also increasingly 'tight' about how I spend my money - I rarely buy anything new for myself and whereas I used to shop in designer shops in my youth, I now shop in supermarkets or Primark.

I love my life . I have freedom and a living partner and kids . I'm educated. Have choices

With a combined income of 40k I don't know what it's like to be rich but it's nice to treat ourselves and eat good food

We have a good income (about 100K) live in a large house in a very nice part of the country, have two cars etc.

I feel poor.

A lot (most) of our friends have vastly more than us 3-4x income, no mortgage etc. We can't afford to do most of the things they do, we can't go on the joint holidays, or to the fancy places, our children don't get to go to Disneyland. Even when I bump into them in the supermarket I have lots of value products they have all the premium.

It all about who you compare yourself too, I know that in fact compared to most people in the world we are very well off.

Kendodd hits the nail on the head. For some reason I always compare myself with others worse off and I tend to feel pretty well off (and am happy and healthy which is the only thing that really matters). Other people find others who are much better off and feel poor which is never a good route to happiness.

In some ways I feel so glad we ended up in this hugely mixed bit of London rather than some rich white posh enclave. The variety in London is pretty egalitarian if you pick the right place.

(Sorry about the dog 34DD but it sounds like you took the right decision).

A lot of us who have ended up fairly well off in the past were not so we appreciate every day (I certainly do) the fact we can afford to have the heating on and am not limiting what I eat by cost (although I only eat paleo so veg and fish etc is a pretty cheap diet and you don't eat as much).

Growing up it looked like we were rich. A large 6 bed detached, biggest in the street, holidays to America, Australia and Bali. My parents wanted to send me to private girls school (I refused). We didn't feel rich as my parents grew up poor, they held onto cars for 10 years and always shopped for bargains. I hardly saw my Dad as he worked a lot. In contrast I've traded earning power for time with the children. I'd love to win the lottery. I like working pt, we get by with not much fancy extras. I hope to earn more when the kids don't need me as much. So in short, I'd love to be rich but don't want to work for it yet as I like being time rich at the moment.It's my happy medium. I think that being wealthy brings its own issues with having everything you want and nothing to dream for and others begrudging what you have.

I have been down to my last fiver in the past, so now I feel rich compared, but in reality just v. comfortable.

we have 2 houses (one with small mortgage), home is large and well kept (not huge though) in lovely area/town.
we have savings and no debts.
we holiday abroad 2/3 times a year (Europe/ worldwide-which we still save up for or use dhs bonuses) plus lots of mini breaks/days out in uk.
kids have enough saved for house deposits .
we eat out/buy what food/treats we like
we have heating on when we like.
we still look for best deals and try not to squander.

These have made a big difference-Lottery win (not jackpot), inheritance, gifts, dh 3 promotions in 5 years.
But they are nothing without family health and happiness.

I know a couple of rich people who shop in charity shops, seek out bargains etc but are very generous in other areas.

I don't know the definition of really rich, but IMO; having option to work or not and having big nicely done house(s) in good area, with no mortgage plus £500k+ in bank.

I think I'm comfortable (income £150k plus with me only working part time and neither of us at the top of our earning capacity) but house prices in London mean we are about to get a huge mortgage to afford an ordinary house so we will never feel rich. However, I have the luxury of only working part time, so I must appreciate that this means we are rich enough to have options. We don't expect inheritances either, so all our money is very hard earned. I think we would be considerably poorer if we had kids, especially if paying school fees. I admit I really wonder how families in London who put several kids through fee paying schools survive without huge incomes.

I would describe myself as financially rich but we are well off compared to most. We live in a beautiful large house in a lovely village on the outskirts of a great city. My DDs go to a private school, we have nice cars and a holiday somewhere nice every year. We go out for meals whenever we want and if I want something I can generally have it. I don't have to work, we belong to a very lovely health club and my life is easy.
However, there are downsides, my DH has a very pressurised job and works long hours. He travels a lot for work too, often out the country. When the children were small this was hard but it meant we could pay for their education and all the extras, they enjoy such as dance classes, music lessons etc and the wonderful holidays. The DDs are very well travelled. The money for our lovely lifestyle is hard earned and not without sacrifice to family life. I do appreciate it though and never take my lifestyle for granted, I know exactly how lucky I am.

I did have a period of having about a thousand a month left over that was purely disposable income. It was absolutely great, and I miss that kind of financial liberty. Although I can be guilty of taking things for granted as much as the next person, I did always feel extremely blessed to have that kind of money to spend on what I chose - holidays, clothes, whatever. Now, although I have far less money to spend, I work fewer hours which has its merits too.

But on balance, I'd like to have more money again. It wouldn't go on clothes now, though. It'd go on being able to take my DS and DH on holidays, which we now don't have, and perhaps a house in an area I like - we're currently in a two-bed flat in an area we absolutely love, but can't afford a bigger place here. Struggling with the notion of moving to an area we don't like in order to afford a small house. Well aware that this is a high-class problem, and like PPs, well aware how lucky we are!

I feel very rich and I really like it.

I used to be a lone parent on brenefits, until DS went to school and I got back on the career ladder and worked really hard.

Seven years later I am increadibly financially secure, and it feels so increadible I am grateful every single day.

I do not notice when payday is.

I need and want very little though, so I just don't spend much money (some people are hurtful and call me tight, but I am not, I just can't be bothered with spending money on things like handbags, I have a bag, it holds my stuff, why do I need another one?)

I buy DS whatever he needs, we have cars, a warm house, holidays, but nothing extravagant.

DP is the same, both of us are better at saving our money than spending it, but that means we always have money when we want to spend it, and are never in debt or counting down the days till payday.

Some people think we are poor, but we don't think we are, we think we are very lucky indeed and do not want to live beyond our means.