Why do i never have any money...???

[Remmy123]

Hi all,

This is my first post but I have been a long time lurker, husband and I have been wracking our brains to work out exactly why we struggle so much financially.

This is not something we can talk to openly to our friends as finances are obviously personal, and I have gained alot of advice from this site so far...

Background:

Husband income after tax PCM: 3,400.00-3,600.00
My income after tax PCM: 900-1000

Outgoings:

Mortgage, council tax and utilities: 1,800 (on a very high interest rate due to end in September so will lower dramatically we hope)
Car loan: 130.00
Credit card: 100.00
Next directory: 50.00
Food: approx 600.00
Nursery fees: 300.00

We are overdrawn at the end of the month by £2,800 – is this where we are going wrong????

We go out once a month if that, hardly ever buy clothes, we get the end of the month and we literally have no money and have to borrow at least 200 from my mum and pay back we cannot afford a holiday this year, we really are very tight and get bargains on everything, i never buy new make-up, etc.. its depressing

We are so frustrated as we both work very very hard and when we work it out it seems we should be comfortable not skint

We must have totally over-stretched ourselves with our mortgage but ironically we have had the same mortgage since 2007 and managed when I was on mat leave and husband income was at l east 400 less PCM.

I could bang my head against the wall!

Thanks to those who can help or see where we are going wrong...

Remmy123

Thanks all - will def have a look at the YNAB today seeing as you all recommend it, wad telling my husband about this thread and he is om board as sick of this too!!

The thing I find hard is bying food on a budget - I like to get cornfed or free range chicken and meat etc.. I am happy to get sainsbury's basics veg etc... But I'm funny about meat. Any inspiration with food budgeting welcome??? Someone said they can do a weekly shop for 50 pounds!!

Thanks again all!

We currently have budgeted £600 for food and all groceries/household products for 4 (5yo and 3yo) Including lunches. We buy all meat free range from butcher and we'd rather compromise on other things first.

What I'd do is check you're only spending £600 - you may find top ups are pushing it higher. We were at £800 rather than £600 with top ups! We now meal plan, and I only plan to buy for 5 days of meals as we usually have enough leftover veg and bits of meat etc to do 2 leftover dinners - we have 3 or 4 recipes and pick whichever is most suitable. We manage to £600 easily. And usually find we're stocking the freezer/cupboards with extra for that rather than running everything down.

Having said that, this month was always going to be tight for a few reasons for us and we took the decision to budget to £300 this month to free money for other things. It's been doable - I've only got £15 left for next week but a fully stocked freezer so we'll manage just fine as only need milk, bread, fruit and a handful of veg

After living to £600 comfortably for a few months I'm now going to drop to £500, stick an extra £100 in savings, and see how we get on. A few months of careful management has made us realise where we can cut back and where we don't want/need to. If you sort all your other expenses out, you may find there's not immediate pressure to go to £50 and doing it gradually gives you a better chance if understanding how you shop and eat rather than having to make drastic changes.

I should add that I'm aiming for £400 a month for now - should be entirely doable as this month has proved but want to really think about how we shop and eat while I get there

Another thing I thought of last night - I know many people find cash easier to manage when on a budget but personally I prefer using my debit card rather than cash. If my grocery shop was £23 I'd take out £30 and fritter away £7 on stuff (cuppa in cafe, snack etc), whereas with a card only £23 is going out and I think more carefully about the cafe or snack as I have to make a trip to the cash machine to get the money for that. I only ever have a few quid in my purse at a time and this works really well for me.

Thanks evertonmint - its great you have managed to cut your food shop down and put 100 in savings... I do top up in the week, I think that is another reason we are going wrong.

I find getting th basics, bread milk fruit and ver really adds up!!!

Need to meal plan more and stick to a food budget as sometimes I find a nice candle or diffuser slip into the trolly!!

The £50 a week on food is totally possible and can include free range meat but only if you shop in Aldi or Lidl. It will not work anywhere else!

I shop in Aldi and our food and household budget is £55 a week for me, DH and DD. We eat really well.

(I should add, the same shop will easily cost me £100 in Waitrose and £80 even in Tesco. Aldi food is comparable to Waitrose in quality once you have trained your brain to see past the unfamiliar packaging.)

I was going to say shop at Aldi, no way I'd shop at sains for a weekly shop now.

You need a spending diary. I'm on the credit crunch threads, you'd be surprised how often the dh is the week link in the chain.

Totally agree re Aldi. On several occasion, for curiosity sake, I have put my Aldi shop through the Tesco or Saibsburys online and it was about 50% more expensive. We were very sceptical but are thoroughly won over.

Examples

• British mince beef 500g £2 (£3 ish at Tesco) & much less fat comes out on cooking
• mature cheddar cheese £1.85 (£2.50 at best with an offer) & it is really tasty
• 3 pack of peppers 95p (£1.85)

I actually get quite offended now at the prices at the big supermarkets. Meat free meals will also help reduce your costs.

*Weak link ffs.

Definately look at where you are taking money out of the account, if it's lots of cash withdrawls and you can't work out where it's going, then you need to be stricter for a couple of months of using the cards so you can see where you are spending, and potentially wasting money.

Good luck!

Completely agree with Living. We used to be just the same - big income on paper, nothing left at the end of the month despite having at least £1000 "spare" after everything was paid for. The trouble is that every month there was something big to pay for - child's birthday party, presents, Christmas, replacement washing machine, car service and insurance, sudden vet bills etc, and that plus a trip to see relatives (petrol, meal out, gifts etc) would push us over the top each time. And I was overspending vastly in Sainsburys and M&S without budgeting for it.

I now save for expected bills - car related, birthday presents, Christmas throughout the year. As others have said, it makes you realise that what you though was spare cash, isn't spare at all.

I use excel spreadsheets now to keep on top of things, (I love excel) but there are lots of other things out there. It is kind of dull to work out a budget before payday and realise you don't have any money, but I'd rather be dull than overdrawn and faced with random huge bills.

One of the reasons I save at aldi is because there is literally just household stuff and food and no clothes, magazines and books and other temptations!

I am very relieved to see this thread. I have been lurking on other threads about saving money. I have also read handfuls of threads about huge school fees and holidays and whatevers....trouble is like a few on this thread have said we have a big income on paper but we are in debt, no savings, crappy mortgage rates due to LTV ratio and still spend.

We did get better a few years ago because we had to and have now fallen into bad habits again of spending - each pay rise and bonus just evaporates into nothing.

I know where we have spent our money...but the shock came when we can now afford a bigger house re mortgage borrowing power but our debts have gone against us and the lack of cash to fund aspects of move. Our spending is making us stuck in a house too small, and worse no provision for kids whatsoever.

So thanks for the thread and all who have contributed. Ive never had the guts to post how much money we have comming in (5.5k per month) but to also say we are debt and struggling with it all. I was scared of getting flamed and I feel ashamed about wasting a very good income. That said we do have a good standard of living.

We are living on 'the bones this month' and havnt been any less happy for it tbh. But we still have sky and a v nive gym membership which is family friendly for soft play and swimming that we can go to. We also have free tickets to London which we will be using to go to soon and a groupon for Plante Hollywood will be our main 'event' next month outside a holiday thats is all paid for bar petrol (£80).

Im converted to Aldi - I sat and compared prices last month. I'm also putting the time in to go and get the bargains ie £5 baby club voucher at Sainsbury's. Aldi voucher tomorrow. Online shop from tesco for store cupboard. Cooking from scratch. Parking for free and walking into town. Actively looking for free things to do Cinema juniors club (cheap) this way I still feel like Im 'living' al little instead on confined to watching tv with coat on IYSWIM.

It's not your groceries that are causing the problem OP... it's the 'missing' amount between the income and the known outgoings. Even if you halved your grocery bill, there is still at least £1000 a month that you don't seem to be able to pin down. That's why you're struggling, not because you eat corn-fed chicken.

Loads of good advice on here! Can I add a little about the food shop? Before you go to the supermarket, go through your cupboards, fridge, freezer and write down what you have - see if you can make one or two meals for the next week out of your cupboards/freezer. We have been trying to eat out of our cupboards/freezer a bit more since Christmas and it has really helped - no point having a freezer full of food and then buying more every week.

Meal planning so that you know what meals you will be making that week can really help to stop the "chuck it in the trolley and hope for the best" shop. It also means that you only buy what you need - usually also reduces the need for extra top ups in the week.

Hope this helps!

We mix up our shops a lot more now depending on what we need - if it's lots of household stuff or I have just received a load of vouchers it's Tesco. If we want a few nice bits it's Waitrose. If we have pretty full cupboards and just need basics it's our village shops. We're now experimenting with Lidl/Waitrose combo as they are next door to each other - Lidl first then things that they didn't have from Waitrose. This has saved us a fair bit this month. Meat always from village butcher - we've tried every supermarket and nothing, not even organic or finest, compares for taste and the prices are comparable. We used to always do Waitrose which was easy but most expensive and most tempting.

I have shopped in Aldi and was impressed with lots if the stuff but it is 30 mins from us so not convenient. If you have one or a Lidl definitely worth trying.

If you're really tempted by extras, try online shopping for a while as you only put in what's on your list.

OP - I've just read your comment on putting the odd diffuser etc into your shopping basket.

I have totally changed my outlook and attitude to spending/buying etc by embracing Minimalist principles. (Well I say totally changed - I still struggle with the urge to buy/shop etc and it's a work in progress but a fundamental change in my thinking and lifestyle has occurred regardless). On a practical level I can now save every month as a direct result of these changes.

I'm not talking about minimalism as in white rooms with no furniture or belongings, but about bringing an awareness to and ultimately stopping the compulsiveness that so many of us have about buying stuff and cluttering our home with stuff we really don't need and spending money we don't have (or could be saving) in the process. And realizing there are valid alternative way to live and be.

Reading blogs etc on the subject are inspiring and supportive - here is a nice place to start if you are curious - www.becomingminimalist.com/minimalism-benefits/

relevant to debt/spending:
www.becomingminimalist.com/escaping-excessive-consumerism/

Beware of top up shops. During the course of the week the fridge gradually empties so come Wednesday (shopping arrives Thursday), there's just one menu option like it or lump it. A top up shop for DH is the things we need - milk, bread (but bigger sizes and naice bread) and a half price chocolate cake; a top up shop for me is A PINT of milk and reduced price bread/rolls. It's about discipline and not overstocking otherwise things get overlooked or go off because there's always something nicer!

Ashamedoverthinker - its not easy admitting how much money comes in or even talking about finances so openly. I have always wondered how people with less income than us survive and it must be either lots of debt or clever and useful advice given here.

I mentioned to my husband about YNAB and he has just txt to say he has downloaded it so tonight we will put some figures in and get started.

Thanks to those with tips re shopping, we do have an lidl very local, so I am going to do a weekly shop there next week (after pay day) and see how I get on trying to keep it below 100.00 will be an achievement for me...

We have a lot of outgoings over next few months such as nursery fees that had to be paid up front from now on, we are going to ireland for a wedding in may which is our only holiday so want to have money aside for that also... Our fences need replacing and need to be replaced, plus our shed.

Looking forward to getting started now I'm on a mission!!

Becool - will have a read of those links later thank you.

Picked up tonights dinner and fought the urge to put in a scented candle cosing 6 pounds and a magazine...I picked them up and put them down again - feel quite good about that!

Great! One thing I would say is when you do your weekly shop, meal plan first and go through the cupboards to check you have everything for it - so don't just assume you have enough pasta for a meal, check first. Also be realistic about how much basics you get through, if one loaf of bread and one carton of milk is not enough to get you through the week, then buy more (you can freeze both milk and bread until you need it midweek to keep it fresh).

Stopping yourself from needing to do the midweek top up shop is worth it, I never manage to just buy bread and milk! Plus it's easier to track what you really spend on food, no point saying "I do a big weekly shop and it costs just £100, then I just pick up bits in the week" if the "bits shop" costs you £30 a time.

OP I am a case in point today!

I went to Sainsbury's, with a list, for a few bits to keep us going until the shopping is delivered on Friday morning.

In addition to my list I bought.

A pack of tea towels
A box of lovely mugs which were on half price
Fresh flowers
Hot cross buns
Loose leaf tea
Creme Eggs

So my shopping was £35, rather than the £18 it would otherwise have been.

I then found a sainsbury's gift card with £40 on it in my purse which I had completely forgotten about so no damage done today

That was a bad one for me, I'm usually much more disciplined than that!

The thing to remember about YNAB is it is future looking - the past is the past. You can include your debts so you can see what you need to pay off but you use it to plan forward a month at a time (which will include paying down the debts). Include everything - regular and irregular DDs and expenditure.

Happy to share a long list of my categories if that would help you get started as it includes the regular monthly DDs and expenditure, the irregular stuff and things like Christmas and holidays to save for and took me a while to compile!