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Original poster

Can my friends TWAT of an XP do this????

21 replies

tiredemma · 22/06/2006 12:34

one of my closest friends is currently going through quite a messy break up, there is a long story behind it, which i will explain later.

They both bought a house about 9 years ago, her XP put the deposit down ( about 2k) and they both contributed jointly to all bills / mortgage etc.
anyway, when they split up he decided that he wanted his share of the money out of the house, she can not afford to buy him out his share and so relunctantly agreed to sell, moving herself and their daughter out. My friend now has to go and live at her dads sharing aroom with daughter.

So the house is sold and new owner is due to move in on monday, twat Xp phoned my friend this morning and told her that in addition to the 50/50 split from the house sale, he wants his deposit amount back PLUS the amount of extra mortgage he had to pay while friend was on maternity leave with HIS daughter!!!! ( this is a man who has not payed any kind of maintenance for the past three months)

he has also informed her that as she has lots of debts and has a new partner younger than her that he can get sole custody of their daughter ( i know that this is untrue, what a twat)

my friend now feels like pulling out of the sale, she cant afford to run the house herself but has said that she isnt even bothered now if the house is reposessed, she will still have enough money left over to pay him off and clear her debts.

what is this man talking about??? can he really demand money for paying during her maternity leave???

also sends her texts every day calling her a fat slag/etc etc, i have told her to keep all of these texts, he has also told her that once all of the house has gone through he is going to "get" her and her new partner.

feel so bad for my friend.

any advice???

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredemma · 22/06/2006 12:36

sorry story behind break up.

she was extremley overweight and had a gastric band operation to lose weight - once she had lost weight he decided to start making her life hell as he couldnt cope with the fact that she was starting to regain confidence. so after months of him being an arsehole and picking on her, she decided to end realtionship.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredemma · 22/06/2006 12:44

any advice?.. any at all?? even if its just to agree with me that this man is a twat?

OP posts:
Carmenere · 22/06/2006 12:45

Total twat. Sorry no advice but definitely a total twat.

serenity · 22/06/2006 12:48

He is an arse of the highest order tiredemma. I've no idea what he can and can't claim tbh, but I'm sure that he's talking crap. Isn't there a lot of cases where the parent with custody of the child can continue to live in the family home until they turn 18?

She needs legal advice and fast I think.

monkeytrousers · 22/06/2006 12:49

Yes, needs to get to CAB sharpish!

eefs · 22/06/2006 12:50

he's a twat.
going through similar twatty exDP behaviour so huge sympathies for her.

Who actually paid the mortgage when they were together? i.e. who's account did the money go from?
Is the house in joint names?

He can demand what he wants but if she doesn't agree it will have to go a legal route which will give her a chance to argue a case for more than 50% due to daughter? Although they were not married and IANAL.

Can she threaten him with the CSA for maintenance? (for what that's worth)

Original poster
tiredemma · 22/06/2006 12:50

do you mean serenity that he cant force her to sell the house?

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 22/06/2006 12:51

Tiredemma, has your friend got a solicitor?
Custody is rubbish, they certainly won't be awarding it to a new partner just because she is younger.
Lots of men bully their ex-p/w at this stage because they think if they threaten custody then their ex-p will cave in on the money.

Original poster
tiredemma · 22/06/2006 12:52

joint mortgage- joint account

I have just told her to inform him that she will be contacting the CSA- as he lives with his mother, im sure his outgoings are far less than
those of a man living alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredemma · 22/06/2006 12:53

she contacted a family lawyer this morning who told her that she didnt have an appt till august but could offer a few minutes "free" advice over the phone, she said that the house split should be 50/50.

OP posts:
serenity · 22/06/2006 12:59

I'm sure I've read threads on here where MNers have been given leave to remain in the family home whilst the children are at school, I can't remember if it was in lieu of some amount of maintenance, and more importantly I can't remember which MNers were talking about it. I could, of course, have got it completely wrong and be talking out of my arse Maybe she can get another hours free advice from a different solicitor and ask them or CAB. Maybe do a link to the lone parents section, as they'd be the people with the experience?

Original poster
tiredemma · 22/06/2006 13:00

thanks serenity.

OP posts:
katzg · 22/06/2006 13:02

i'd imagine that unless he has a deed of trust in place for the extra money he paid in at the beginning then he has no claim on anything more than half the house. if the payments came out of the joint account and into the joint mortgage then he has no claim on them.

she should 50% equal split of the profits

katzg · 22/06/2006 13:02

i'd imagine that unless he has a deed of trust in place for the extra money he paid in at the beginning then he has no claim on anything more than half the house. if the payments came out of the joint account and into the joint mortgage then he has no claim on them.

she should 50% equal split of the profits

Bugsy2 · 22/06/2006 13:30

I've been through the courts with ex-H & am fairly sure of what the situation is regarding the break up of a marriage, but I don't know if the same rules or guidelines apply to partners breaking up.
When you are married, the court's priority is to ensure that children are housed properly.
However, if your friend has current residence of the house, she should just stay put until she gets legal advice. It will be impossible for her ex-p to get her out of the house, particularly if she owns half of it. Tell her to change the locks immediately if she hasn't already done so.

Bugsy2 · 22/06/2006 13:34

Re-reading your original thread, tell your friend to take house off the market & move back in pronto. She should not under any circs move out without legal advice. She should also not listen to anything her threatening ex-p says as he is just bullying her without any legal back up.
She should also phone the mortgage company immediately and tell them that what is happening & ask them what they would advise, so that she can keep the repayments going in the short-term or take a payment holiday until she gets legal advice.

Piffle · 22/06/2006 13:35

if they are both on the house title the solicitor will split if 50/50 unless there was separate legal documentation drawn up at the time the house was bought, detailing one persons extra deposit.
So he is talking through the hole in his arse. this is typical twat behaviour
Custody ha ha ha ha ha no way.
she should change her number on her phone NOW!
If he is threatening her she needs to speak to the police as well, just to log it.
His names isn't Darren by any chance?

controlfreaky · 22/06/2006 13:41

he cant sell house in jt names without either her agreement or a court order. if the house is in jt names and was bought as "family home" the court may say it neednt be sold and him get his share until no longer needed as home for their child... (although she would have to pay mortgage). bottom line is (a) he is clearly a bully and an arse (b) she dosent have to agree to sale (but may have already agreed if people are meant to be moving in??) (c) cant change locks as in theory as jt owner he can live there too unless court order says otherwise (d) NEEDS URGENT LEGAL ADVICE.

Bugsy2 · 22/06/2006 13:46

she could change the locks if she "lost" all of hers in some terrible dropping down a drain episode!!!!

FrayedKnot · 22/06/2006 14:03

If they have exchanged contracts she will not be able to pull out of teh sale without finacial penalty.

If so, what arrangements have been made for what happens to the money when completion takes place?

Solicitor / conveyancer will be holding the money and will have to act on their instructions.

It would I think be very unwise to instruct solicitor to pay teh money into any joint account that they have.

I think she needs to act quickly on this if contracts have been exchanged.

Original poster
tiredemma · 22/06/2006 16:30

thanks ladies, have printed this off for her.

xx

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