Desperate for advice, please help if you can...

[troubledmum1234]

Hi, I'm hoping someone can help me out, please. I know it's long and a bit complicated but I am at my wits end and just need someone who can tell me what I should do next. I do have a solicitor but she is on leave for 2 weeks and honestly, I can't afford to keep paying her so much each month. I will try and keep it brief...

My ex and I have two children together, we also own a property together. We separated 2 years ago and he moved out (his choice I was willing to negotiate who stayed there). I explained to him I could not pay the mortgage alone and he agreed to find somewhere else to live and if I could pay the mortgage for a few months we would sell the property.

6 months went by and I managed to keep up the mortgage payments alone, just! We decided on 50/50 shared residency of the children so they lived with me half the time and him half the time. He had moved into a property owned by his sister and was renting it off her. I asked him to agree to sell the jointly owned property as he had promised and he refused to discuss it as the property was (is) in negative equity and it was easier for him to ignore it and leave me dumped with it and all the responsibility :(

This has now been the case for almost a year. My solicitor has sent numerous letters all been ignored. I simply couldn't afford the mortgage and moved out into a cheap rented place. The property has now been unoccupied for 6 months and arrears amounting on the mortgage of course.

I was advised by my solicitor to apply for an order of sale. The application has been made and he has been served the papers. I have asked that the Court order I can sell the property, the arrears and negative equity being split between us and we could get the mortgage provider to put the separate debts into small loans for each of us to arrange to pay back. Then we are completely financially separate and that's surely best for us all. My application also requests he pays all my solicitors and court costs due to his total lack on response for so long - he has also refused mediation about the subject so I also have an FM1 form which I am told will likely persuade a Court to order he pays my costs. This has all cost me an absolute fortune that I just can't afford.

Yesterday he had the damn audacity to text me out of the blue saying he is moving back into the currently empty jointly owned property. He has said he would like me to sign an agreement for the mortgage to be extended to lower the monthly payments for him as his sister is now selling the house he lives in an otherwise he will be homeless.

The man is a complete financial mess, he has caused me all sorts of other financial problems during the relationship and since separation, he has so much debt and unpaid fines etc there are bailiffs regularly turning up at his sisters house (he told me this). I just want to cut all ties (financially speaking) and be free of this huge debt with him. I do not want to be on a mortgage for a property he is living in.

I have said no and he has now said he is moving back in there next week and I can't stop him. He has also said he will use the "Children's Act" as once he is in there I won't be able to force the sale as it will be the children's home and therefore to force the sale would be detrimental to them and make them homeless. I have a court date set for November (huge wait) for the hearing regarding the order of sale, but by then he will have been living there for months.

Does anyone know where I stand? Will I be able to still get the order for sale if he has moved in there, given that he has refused for so long to discuss and has shown no interest in the property for such a long time. The children live with us both equally, we have a shared residency order that is 50/50, so they have two homes, not just one and they are both primary school age - if that makes any difference to the protection he will get from the Children's Act under these circumstances.

Is there any way I can stop/delay him moving in there until the Court Hearing in November when the fate of the property is decided? Will the Court see what he is now attempting to do to try and financially hold me to the property after putting me through all this stress and worry for so long. I cannot face the emotional and financial burden/stress of being financially tied to him in this way.

He works full time and earns a decent wage, so he could afford to rent privately if he wanted, just like I do.

Hopefully someone can help? I've also put this in the "legal section" as I'm not sure where is belongs...

I don't think you can stop him moving in. As the joint owner of the house, he is entitled to live there.

Do NOT sign any agreements regarding the mortgage. Really, don't do anything until you have spoken to your solicitor. Just because he has texted you, you are not obliged to respond.

It seems to me that he is using this issue of the tenure of the house to try and control and abuse you. Obviously, none of us can predict what the judge will do, but I hope that your judge will be able to see the nature of his behaviour and rule accordingly.

The mortgage lender will not agree to extending the mortgage under your current circumstances so that is one positive for you. I would personally be tempted to contact your mortgage arrears team and find out where things are up to there as they potentially could be looking at forcing repossession anyway if it has been over 6 months of arrears.

Thank you both. Yes, I have received notification of the starting of repossesion proceedings, however, my solicitor has contacted them and informed them of the difficult situation and that I have applied to court for an order of sale. Luckily, my solicitor has said I should be able to get to court before they do to get repossesion ordered. I have someone to buy the property actually, but haven't been able to sell with my ex refusing to agree.

You have a prospective buyer and he is behaving this way? Honestly, he is being a complete idiot.

If I were you, I would just sit tight and wait for the court hearing.

Thanks fubbsy. Yeah, complete idiots sums it up. Problem is the court hearing for my application of the order of sale isn't until November. I have tried to get it soon but been told Courts are massively busy and that's the earliest they could give me. He has said he will be moving back in in the next 3 weeks. I've been there today and its still unoccupied but he's definitely been there, he's taken some painting and decorating equipment there (ready to do up the place I assume). I just know he's going to move in there and I'll be stuffed and unable to sell as he has the shared residency order and has the kids 50:50. He's adamant he knows that the Children's Act will prevent me being granted the right to sell as by the hearing date in October he'll have been in there 3 months already.

Buying this property was the worst thing I have ever done! :(

Can he afford the mortgage at its current monthly rate? If not then he will end up losing the house anyway!

Bear in mind my knowledge is finance not law, but is it possible for you to move back into the house? I understand that you are struggling financially, however if it keeps him out of there then it would only be for a few months anyway and he can't move in if you're there can he?

"He's adamant he knows that the Children's Act will prevent me being granted the right to sell." And you believe him. Why? What makes you think he knows what he is talking about? Is he a barrister? A judge? A psychic?

It looks like he has been doing all this just to get at you. He doesn't seem to be putting the interests of the children first at all. If he can't afford the mortgage, the house will just be repossed anyway. Then he and the children will have to move again. Not exactly providing them with a stable home.

I meant to say, the house will be reposessed anyway.

RockChick - He can afford the mortgage at its current rate. Well, with what he earns I see no reason why he couldn't. I think he'd be more comfortable on a lower rate with me extending the mortgage to help him out, but no way will I do that. He also has family who I know would help him financially.

As for moving back, my mum suggested that to me too. Problem is it's not big enough for my family. My partners child lives with us and we are expecting a baby too. The property is only a small 2 bed apartment, no way could we all get in there, plus we are renting at the moment and would need to give notice.

Fubbsy- You have a point. I have tried to research the Children's Act online and from the legal section on here it does appear a Court will not usually order sale of a jointly owned property if there are children living in it. But I don't know for sure if it would apply in this case. I am going to have to try and find the money to pay a solicitor to help, and quickly.