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Original poster

When I go on maternity leave and my husband isn't bringing any money in, will we be entitled to any benefits?

47 replies

moonmrs · 30/05/2013 21:55

Quick background - we have been ttc for around 5 years, suffering 2 miscarriages along the way, a period of infertility (on my part) and now by some miracle I am 24 weeks pregnant. My dh got made redundant in November last year, and has had no luck in finding work. He started up his own business in February this year, but has yet to have any customers, despite advertising, although I know this will take time. This baby is so longed for that it makes me so sad that we can't provide for him properly - previously we have both been in stable jobs, not earning loads, but enough to pay the bills and have some left over to do nice things, and enough to manage to bring up a baby on one wage for a short while.

So my question is, when I go on maternity leave, and if he still isn't earning any money, will we be entitled to any benefits? I get company maternity pay for 13 weeks at full pay, which I can just about cover the bills with (as I'm currently doing, not easy but do-able) but what about after that? Statutory maternity pay is something like £135 a week, which will nowhere near cover the bills.

Dh has applied for every job going, so its not an option to say he has to get a job - I know that, and he's trying, even though he's started his own business he's still looking for work. Wasn't even entitled to jobseekers allowance when he got made redundant as I work....

Any advice or to hear from anyone who has been in the same situation would be greatly appreciated. I'm so worried, and I want to spend as much time with our new baby as I can after waiting so long, I really don't want to go back to work after 13 weeks, although I guess I may not have a choice.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

Rockchick1984 · 30/05/2013 22:29

Have a look on www.entitledto.co.uk and put in your details - the figures won't be exactly correct as it depends on your household income last tax year and this tax year, but it'll give you an idea. If you tell me how much your annual salary is, I can at least tell you if you will get any help even if not an exact amount.

Rockchick1984 · 30/05/2013 22:30

Oh, and congratulations on your pregnancy! Hoping for an uneventful next 16 weeks for you :)

dreamingbohemian · 30/05/2013 22:37

Do you rent? You might get housing benefit. And child benefit. I'm not sure about tax credits, with the new rules and changes.

I know it would be really tough to go back to work at 13 weeks, but at least you would be leaving your baby with your husband and it would give them a great chance to bond that a lot of dads don't get. My husband took care of DS a lot when he was young and I think it really showed, we're sort of equally capable of doing everything and he and DS are really close.

Original poster

moonmrs · 31/05/2013 09:10

Thank you for your replies. Am at work atm so will post properly tonight. But yes we do rent, and I earn 25k a year. Will have a look at the link you posted tonight. Not adverse to dh looking after the little one, and he's happy to do it, I'm just sad because I wanted to take as much time off as I could to enjoy him and I feel like I'm gonna be a crap mum who'll never be there to see all the 'firsts'.

OP posts:

dreamingbohemian · 31/05/2013 09:41

I can totally understand. Of course you won't be a crap mum though! Would you think your husband was a crap dad if he were working full-time?

Also, here in France everyone just gets 12 weeks leave -- are they all crap mums? Please don't be too hard on yourself.

I also found that for a lot of things, there aren't really 'firsts', they do things so gradually. They stop and start, they do things halfway for a while. And a lot of firsts can be planned, like the first meals, the first trip to the park, etc. You will still see a lot!

Rockchick1984 · 31/05/2013 10:33

Even on your full salary you will be entitled to a small amount of tax credits. You will also get £20 per week child benefit, and of course once you are on maternity leave your expenses can easily be reduced - travel costs to work, time to shop around for things, etc. If you have a mortgage you can see if you're eligible for a payment holiday so that would free up a significant amount each month. If you're renting I don't think you will get any housing benefit - my DH is on around £18k (I'm a SAHM) and we don't get any help with our rent.

RedHelenB · 31/05/2013 12:50

He should be entitled to non income based JSA based on his NI contributions if he has been working - that needs checking out first.

Original poster

moonmrs · 31/05/2013 20:18

redhelen my dh has been working since he was 16, he was unemployed for a short while about 6 or 7 years ago, but the job centre said he wasn't entitled to anything because I was earning enough to keep 2 of us. He did get a second opinion, but the same happened to me when I got made redundant and he was working, and I wasn't entitled to anything, I don't get how it all works.

dreaming no definitely not, I didn't mean it to come across in that way, sorry. I guess every woman is different, I just feel that because we've waited so long, I really don't want to go back to work so soon, if I had my way I'd never go back, but that isn't an option! You're probably right on the 'firsts' and I'm being a bit over the top about things. Some days I don't worry at all, and other days I worry stupidly about it. But at the end of it all, I know that all that matters is that he'll be very much wanted and loved, and the rest will sort itself out.

rockchick I have checked out the link you sent, it looks very long so will look properly over the weekend and fill it all in. I'd forgotten about travel costs too, currently I do a 50 mile round trip every day for work, so fuel costs will be much less.

Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate it, I think just writing it down has helped me to not stress about it so much. Everyone else manages, so we'll be fine won't we

OP posts:

dreamingbohemian · 01/06/2013 09:02

Yes you'll be fine

I do really understand, I felt the same way when I was pregnant. But just see how things go. Good luck with everything!

Original poster

moonmrs · 01/06/2013 11:25

Thank you

OP posts:

jgjgjg · 01/06/2013 18:28

Assuming his national insurance contributions are up to date he should definitely get Contributions Based job seekers allowance. My husband earns a six figure salary in the city and I got it for 6 months when I was made redundant. About £70 a week I think.

Xenia · 02/06/2013 09:28

The best mothers work full time. You do better for babies by working full time than being home with them. It's just a myth that children need a mother rather than a father at home.

Go back full time at 13 weeks when the full pay stops if not before and sunny Jim at home can mind the baby. I expressed milk at work and that worked very well.

Original poster

moonmrs · 02/06/2013 11:58

jg I don't understand how it works, I've had friends in the same position and some seem to get help and some don't.

xenia I can understand how that would work for some people, but its not what we had planned to do. I'm not a career minded person, I don't mind working, but I do it because I need to not because I want to (I tell my boss this all the time lol). I've always wanted to have a family and for me, I just wanted the option to stay off a little longer. I genuinely enjoy being at home, and looking after the house, I find it so much more rewarding than working. But if I need to go back earlier I will, the best plans and all that hey! We've just said that we'll see how things pan out, and cross that bridge when we come to it, relax a little and enjoy the impending birth of our ds

OP posts:

HoleyGhost · 02/06/2013 12:10

Why tell your boss that??

Staying at home with a baby is nothing like what you have experienced before (staying at home as a lady of leisure). It is often like having the most irrational and unreasonable boss it is possible to have.

Your DH may find work in the next few months, but if not, you will be fine. It is very likely that you will find yourself longing to be back where you can speak sensibly about something other than poo and infant sleep, where you can finally drink a cup of tea in peace, from where you can return to your baby - eager to see them.

Original poster

moonmrs · 02/06/2013 12:28

holey I have a good relationship with my boss, I've worked there for 8 years, its just a bit of banter. I'm very good at my job, so its not like I'm just doing the bare minimum or anything like that, if I do anything I do it with 100% effort. I do know that its no walk in the park, I don't expect it to be easy, and I would have always gone back to work, just possibly sooner than expected that's all.

I feel a bit like I'm being picked on now for saying that I want a family instead of a career. Everyone's different, and I feel like my calling is to be a mum, especially as its been long awaited (not saying it means I deserve it more or anything, just this is what I've always wanted and why shouldn't I spend time with the new arrival). I only wanted to ask for advice on benefits and thank you to those who have helped, but I think its gone a bit off topic now, so I will end the thread.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 02/06/2013 12:33

6 months worth of £71 is worth having so I would urge your dh to apply on line for contribution based JSA. It is purely based on his NI contributions so if he has been working full time he will be entitled.

TheLittleMe · 02/06/2013 12:57

I don't get why your DH can't get a job? Fair enough you want to stay at home, but if that's the case, surely your DH needs a but of a kick up the bum, and to find a job, any job, to support you all! I would say that the business idea should be on the back burner until you have finished maternity leave.

Original poster

moonmrs · 02/06/2013 13:01

Please refer to my original post:

Dh has applied for every job going, so its not an option to say he has to get a job - I know that, and he's trying

He has applied for anything and everything, supermarket jobs, warehouse jobs, jobs in his field, jobs on minimum wage and nothing, so that's not very helpful. Starting his own business was an attempt at bringing in some money whilst still searching for a job.

Can anyone remind me how to end a thread, I can't remember

OP posts:

HoleyGhost · 02/06/2013 13:03

You have been given good advice here - it is a shame to prevent other people in similar situations from being able to find it.

suckmabigtoe · 02/06/2013 13:04

i'd say if your DH hasn't any work by teh time your full pay runs out then it is logical for you to return to work and him be the SAHP. it doesn't have to be permanent- just until he can get work or get the business up and running and you may end up being really happy with the arrangement. i have done WOH with tiny baby, stay at home with tiny baby and preschooler and WOH with one pre-schooler and one primary school. SAH was when i was with EXP and TBh if i could have reversed our roles i think i would (i couldn't) but if you'd asked me that question at the start of my mat leave i would have said " no way- i want to be at home with my dcs" it's only after experiencing it all that i know what the right balance is for me.

suckmabigtoe · 02/06/2013 13:05

why do you want to delete the thread?

Original poster

moonmrs · 02/06/2013 13:09

Because I feel like I'm being picked on for wanting to stay at home a little longer, and my poor dh is being picked on for not being able to find a job! And its gone off topic, the original question is no longer being answered and I don't want it to be about anything more than that, its getting too personal.

Agree that I've been given some good advice, thank you to those people. I don't want to delete the thread, but I thought there was a way you could stop any more replies?

OP posts:

heidihole · 02/06/2013 13:13

Oh Moonmrs I feel for you. I don't know the answer to your question except to try entitledto.com but I can understand you wanting to be home as long as possible.

suckmabigtoe · 02/06/2013 13:19

oh stop being so silly! you are an adult woman about to become a parent- you can cope with difference of opinions! no-one is picking on you (no-one even knows you for starters!). when you post on MN you are basically inviting strangers off the street to comment on your post. some of them will say things you disagree with- you have to accept that when you post. MN doesn't have a 'delete because they said things i didn't want to hear' option. all opinions are valid even if they make you a bit uncomfortable.

TheLittleMe · 02/06/2013 17:52

I think it is pretty rare for someone to not be able to get any job at all.. I think if he is that desperate he would find something. And if not, when your 13 weeks are up, if he hasn't got a job then you should do the adult thing and go back to work if you need the money! It shouldn't be a bloody choice, you already have one parent at home able to look after the baby, you need to provide for your family! Whether the baby was hard to conceive or not is irrelevant.

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