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Original poster

We are financially f*cked...

40 replies

Pfer · 08/05/2006 10:40

DH works full time, wages aren't that great but at least he's working. I'm self-emp. part-time from home. My mum usually babysits for me 3morns or afternoons a week so I can work. 7 weeks ago she had a car smash, is not going to be able to have the kids for at least 5 months while she has physio and learns how to walk again. So I can't work. I also go to mums at 6am for about an hour to get her up and sort her breakfast, at lunch time for an hour or so again, to make sure she's ok and eating, at tea-time, again for an hour or so and at about 9pm to help her to bed, supper, and make sure she's had her pain killers etc.

We can't afford to get child care, the day nursery's here ask you to pay for a 'block' which is about £13 a time, and as my work visits which I have to do to collect work, overlap so I'd have to pay about £17 each time which we can't afford.

Just checked bank account, have an £1100 o/d facility and we have £98.71 to last us for the rest of the month. Will we have to eat the guineapigs?

Can't trim anymore off the budget, cancelled Sky, changing energy providers etc, have got things down to the bare bones. What can we do?

Any advice?

OP posts:
suzywong · 08/05/2006 10:42

Is there anyway at all you can have your mum move in with you for the duration of her recovery?

lucykate · 08/05/2006 10:43

anything you could sell on ebay, old kids clothes, toys, shoes, maternity wear all sell well

Moomin · 08/05/2006 10:44

can you get a 0% credit card for a while? i'm on maternity leave at the moment and took and extra 3 months so i've no wages coming in until june. we got a credit card out from sainsburys as it was 0% on new purchases for 10 months. when my wages start again we'll stop using the card (YES WE WILL!) and then keep transferring the balance to other 0% acrds until it's paid off. we use the card for all supermarket shopping and it's made a real difference to what we'd have had before. i think if they are used as temporary measures and you're strict with yourselves they can be very helpful. moneysavingexpert.com have a list of the best 0% deals at the moment.

expatinscotland · 08/05/2006 10:48

I'm with moomin, get the 0% card.

Get onto some recipe sites/forums and find some cheap, nutritious meals. Yes, it can be done! Particularly w/pulses, which you can also blend down to thicken sauces and soups.

lucykate · 08/05/2006 10:48

do you have any other family or friends (or mumsnetters!) nearby that also have kids?. for childcare, you could set up a 'you look after mine for a bit, i'll look after yours for a bit' with someone.

suzywong · 08/05/2006 10:48

as someone who is still paying off credit cards more than 2 years later please be very very careful of using them as a bridging loan when you are selfemployed. Really. It's a big trap that takes a will of steel to get out of.

cadbury · 08/05/2006 10:48

if you are looking after your mum, you might be entitled to a carers allowance.

Original poster
Pfer · 08/05/2006 10:49

suzywong, no, there are 4 of us in a 2 bed house and we have no downstairs loo, which she needs as she's using a zimmer frame and has to hop on one leg - don't think she'd want to either tbh, can't say I blame her...

Lucykate - nothing left to sell honey Sad, did this just before xmas to get the kids presents.

Moomin - that what's got us into this mess in the first place so be careful! We got a credit card when we had DS1 and have kept swapping to 0% deals but the balance just kept going up no matter how hard we tried - you have to eat and kids need shoes etc. don't they? We've now destroyed the cards and cancelled our accounts and 3 months ago took out a 5yr loan to clear this mess.

OP posts:
fairyfly · 08/05/2006 10:50

Child tax credit, help with childcare costs?

lucykate · 08/05/2006 10:51

where abouts are you pfer?

suzywong · 08/05/2006 10:52

Ah, I thought you would have thought of that already, silly question really

You see, there's someone else who got shafted by credit card (mis) use. It's a downward spiral when you are selfemployed as some bastard always keeps you waiting for payment more than 90 days and then you're stuffed.

Ummmmmm..... I think Cadbury is right, the carer's allowance may be the way to go. Can you speak to her GP's surgery and find out what you have to do to apply.

Original poster
Pfer · 08/05/2006 10:53

Cadbury, yes I was advised to look into carers allowance, but the gov. site says that the amount you get would come off your WFTC, so it'd make no difference.

I'm a billy no mates I'm afraid, all of my friends (the 3 or 4 that I've got) all have kids at school full time and so they've been able to go back to work. There's only 1 person I know with kids the same ageish as mine and tbh I wouldn't leave my kids there, and as her's always vandalise my house when they come here I don't think it'd be a god idea to have her's here either.

I'm off to the doc's this afternoon to see if I can get some more 'happy pills', that may make things seems a little better for a while. At the moment I can't see a way out or what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pfer · 08/05/2006 10:54

Lucykate I'm about 20miles South of Lincoln.

OP posts:
Blu · 08/05/2006 10:54

Pfer - very bad luck for you, and of course your Mum, it all sounds very upsetting.

I know this sounds very hard work, but is there any way your DH can get extra shifts / overtime, while this crisis lasts? Or you could work evenings once he is home?

Have you looked at all the tax credits you could get now DH is sole earner?

Original poster
Pfer · 08/05/2006 11:00

Blu, yeah thanks, it's been a bit crappy TBH.

DH works for a v. nice guy but it's a 8am till finish job as it is, he usually does about 12/13 hours per day 5 days a week, though he has just started asking about for weekend work to help us out, it's just waiting for it to come in isn't it?

I'm in the process of filling out our forms to make sure we get enough / not too much etc. When I've got it all together I'll phone it through as they do it quicker don't they?

Sorry ladies, just needed to vent my frustration, I'm sure there are people in a worse position than us.

Hey, just a thought, maybe I should did out our mortgage paperwork, maybe we can have one of those payment breaks for 3 months or so to get us back in credit? Anyone else done this?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 08/05/2006 11:00

yes, carer's allowance does come off your WTC. it can also affect your mother's level of benefit.

the only prob i can see w/the tax credits is that they quite often cut you off when you change circumstances until they get it all readjusted, which really is the worst thing that can happen when you have NO cash. been there, bought the tshirt.

i'd look to get something cash in hand, tbh.

Blu · 08/05/2006 11:09

I've never changed the morgage, but I thiihnk it is a good idea to talk to them - if you have a re-payment mortgage, you might be able to just pay the interest, instead of repayment plus interest, but ask about any admin charges they might impose, and any long-term disadvantages.

Is there anyhting else you could stop paying for the few months? A pension scheme, for e.g?

manitz · 08/05/2006 11:09

hi, we had a bit of a bad stretch a while back and took a payment break on the mortgage as dh was unemployed and it went on longer than we thought. it's a good idea and i would try and put the mortgage money away if you can so that it's crisis money for when you have to start paying again.

Other idea was to take work in a supermarket/pub (you) either cash in hand or whatever sats/eves so that a bit extra is coming in.

I'd work out how long the max is b4 yours are at school and you can work again or youor mum is able to help out again then work out how much you need a month until then. so any borrowing/mortgage breaks cover you for that period. if that makes sense.

The payment break with my bank was for up to 6 montsh and you can only have one every two years and i think you have to have a mortgage for 2 years at least b4 you can have one. also i'd suggest you stop paying insurance on the mort, it's a wast of money. we've never payd it and i was kicking myself when dh was made redundant but turns out the extra cost of mort following break was £50 and so was the insurance, so you're paying £50 incase he loses job or only if he loses job.

also I didn't buy clothes/shoes during that period, no computer/broadband incoming phone calls only on phone £10 pm so £30 a quarter through bt.

GDG · 08/05/2006 11:14

Any chance you could get a supermarket job for evening and/or weekend?

You've got just under £100 till when? Break it down for each week, plan your meals so that they are as cheap as possible and buy only what you need.

Gosh, so sorry for you pfer - that's not much for the rest of May is it - you can be as frugal as you can but you deffo need a way of getting more money in and I think the first thing I'd do is go to the supermarket and see if there is anything at all going- shelf stacking, checkout anything. I guess it's whether you can fit any hours in??

LIZS · 08/05/2006 11:15

How old are your kids ? Perhaps a Childminder would be a better bet , a bit more flexible, less expensive overall as you could pay by the hour and offer a discount for siblings, to enable you to work a little regularly. Also if your elder child is over 3 you could qualify for vouchers from LEA towards the cost.

manitz · 08/05/2006 11:17

great minds eh? sorry not v clear on first post, meant that you ensure that any extra you make/save form borrowing or stopping paying your mortgage can be spread out to cover those months you can't work/earn intil either kids are at school or your mum can help out again.

Also meant to add that you ahve all my sympathy, your situation sounds incredibly stressful and I hope you can find a way out.

pucca · 08/05/2006 11:18

I don'tknow about these things really but can you not get a carers allowance for caring for your mum? loss of earnings etc, may be worth looking into.

xx

Blu · 08/05/2006 11:18

And, they do eat guinea pigs in S America, don't they?

PeachyClair · 08/05/2006 11:53

I'd echo the TFTC childcare payments. 98 won't get you to end of month will it? Anyone who can help? Shop in the evenings for end date stuff in the reduced sections

I would also suggest a childminder, my Uni hours are all over the place and only a childminder would work for us when we looked into it. I was wary of cm's (jealousy mainly Blush- that's MY baby) but actually, the two we have are FAB!

Talk to the school, maybe they can help you defer lunch payment for a few weeks to get you through; least that way they're getting a cooked meal.

Original poster
Pfer · 08/05/2006 12:26

Just been on school run, and speaking to another mum who I kind of know wellish and turns out she's doing a childminder course thing, got 3 more weeks and 1 offstead inspection left to do then she can take kids in. Told her to let me know asap when she can do this as DS2 could go just for the hours I needed, which I'd do while DS1 is at school (goes in the mornings till Sept then full time).

Am going to phone bank to see if they can extend o/d once again, then contact mortgage provider.

I think mum'll be out of action for at least 5 months yet Sad as they both love going there, as with most kids, they prefer grandma's house to their own....

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