Dh can't see our business is killing us.

[TreesOutside]

I've nc as I'm about to reveal allot of personal info and I don't want rl people knowing all this.

We have a small building firm, it used to be really successful but it started going down about 6 years ago. Dh fell out with his partner and they split, partner walked away without any of the debt that had begun to pile up.

Dh has worked really hard and has brought the business back to an almost workable level, it's been hard, his health has suffered allot. We also rarely spend much time together and I've felt alone in raising our kids. He's made all the decisions, borrowed money etc and while he's talked to me, I've tried to support him. The bills were getting paid on final reminders, we were late with nearly everything, especially suppliers and staff. But our home was secure and I could budget our small living expenses.

A few years ago I told him I thought it was time to wind down the business as things were getting worse, he didn't think so and was convinced we could get back to things like they used to be. Things did get worse, dh's depression, stress and black moods were awful. On the advice of the accountant I became a partner in the business, again I trusted dh in the fact he could make it all work.

I told him I wanted to him to close it and get a job elsewhere as I couldn't live on the edge anymore, I gave him 8 months to do it. But again, he was convinced he could make it work and living on the edge was better than being on benifits, going bankrupt etc.

That was almost a year ago and here we are in a slightly worse situation, we've now missed 2 mortgage payments. If we don't sell our house to pay inland revenue they will shut us down and the bank will take our house for the loans we owe them.

I'm at a loss what to do, I have always trusted dh to do what he thinks is best, it was his business.

Now we have fallen out as I feel like I can't live like this anymore, my anxiety levels are ridiculous, I can't talk to anyone in rl about this as I still love dh and I don't want them thinking this is all his fault, I'm a grown up and I've agreed all the way, I'm responsible too.

The house is a mess and falling apart, I don't see how I'll be able to get it ready to sell while looking after my kids and I have no money. Also I have no idea where we'll live, rent would be higher than our mortgage.

If anyone has any advice I'd welcome it.

I think you need to organise a business meeting for yourself, your accountant and your DH, have a long hard look at the books and the mortgage commitments etc. and take a commercial decision whether to continue. My feeling is that if you're in debt, having health problems and business is not picking up your accountant will advise you to wind it up and go back to being paid employees of someone else rather than self-employed.

Not sure if i can offer any advice but from what you've wrote you know that closing the business is inevitable. It sounds like your dh does too but is refusing to face the inevitable, especially after trying so hard over the years.
His health and yours is more important - honestly. He needs to face that.
Can you speak to the accountant and see what his view is?
Have you spoke to the bank in the past? Can they give you any breathing space?
Do you have any other assets to sell? Can you sell the business to a larger one that will be able to move quickly and complete the sale ASAP?
How old are dc?

Do you have anyone else involved in your business? An advisor at the bank, for example? I think you have to try to separate this from your personal relationship as much as possible and outside experts, like accountants and business advisors, could help you acheive that.

The kids are 3 and 6yo.

The accountant we have is terrible, we used to deal with a different guy but he left. We owe them money and can't afford to pay anyone new.

The bank won't give us anymore space, the bank advisor we spoke to really is only concerned we lower the overdraft and tells us we need to make more money.

I guess we need new advisors but it's hard when you don't have any money to pay for anyone new. I also think my dh would be reluctant to take advice as he's poured his heart and soul into this business.

I guess I need to get the house sold and pay off what we owe, I'm just scared of moving the kids around so much. Plus I like my house and it'll be sad to loose it.

Thank you for your replies, it's good just to talk about it and not feel like I'm blowing it out of preportion.

"I also think my dh would be reluctant to take advice as he's poured his heart and soul into this business"

Heart and soul, sadly, don't make for a successful business. Money does that. He needs a big dose of reality, unfortuately and I think you're too close to the problem to be able to deliver it. Please make sure you protect yourself financially as best you can. Keep your finances separate, don't take on personal debts for him, be careful what you sign your name to and, if you can get some income of your own through a job, go for it. I think your DH's head in the sand approach means he won't wake up to this mess until he's being made bankrupt. See if you can cushion the blow for yourself and your DCs

When you say the bank won't give you anymore space.. Do you mean in relation to the business or your mortgage?

Can you not change to an Interest Only mortgage for a while or ask for a payment holiday? Are you sure you could not be on a better mortgage rate? Or rent your house out and rent somewhere else smaller/cheaper?

Just a thought.

I hope it works out one way or the other OP.